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Why is he toying with my emotions?!
I met this guy about a year ago. He was beautiful, and kind, and artistic. He was the type of guy I could have an extremely open minded conversation with. We started dating about a month after we met, and it was bliss. Like my own little piece of heaven. He’d even told me he loved me. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of falling into the arms of another man. I admitted to it right away, and apologized for it. I had said something like “we’re going to break up,” or something like that, and he thought I was dumping him. I was ready to talk about the horrible mistake I’d made, but instead of talking things out like a mature adult, he simply replied “whatever,” and I saw nothing of him for 3 months.
I’m an actress, and I was in a play at the time, and most of my friends, that were in the play as well, were friends with this guy, so naturally he came to see the show. Afterward, he snuck back to the dressing rooms and tapped on the door. I wasn’t sure who he was talking to, but, since no one else was around, it had to be me. I made my way to the door, and said “Are we friends again?” he confirmed our new friendship and embraced me. That night he sent me a long text telling me how when he saw me on stage, he realized why he’d fallen in love with me. Being the silly little ninny noddle that I am, I decided to start seeing him again. Everything was good for a while, but not quite the same, and that hurt a little. Anyway, after a while, he decided that we should break up. He didn’t say why, but I assumed it was because he was afraid of getting his heart broken again; which is understandable.
We remained friends, although no one looking on would call us friends. Everyone could see the chemistry between us, and, instead of ignoring these things, or simply laughing, he took my hand or put his arm around me when people were around. He often called me sexy, and took me out on dates, and bought me things, but then the next day if I were to confront him, he would mumble something about it not meaning anything, or deny it, and then walk away.
Of course I understand that after my being unfaithful he wouldn’t want to see me again, that’s completly reasonable, but he knows how I feel about him, and should not keep me on a string. He claims he’s not into me, and yet he talks about how he’s going to travel the world and bring me with him, and he does the other things I listed previously!
Date me, or don’t date me, but don’t tell me one thing and then show me another. As my user name clearly states; Men suck, simple as that.
by men_suck_simple_as_that3 Responses to “Why is he toying with my emotions?!”
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You are right, it seems based on what you wrote that he is still hurting. I think he probably does have feelings for you however the indiscretion is in the back of his mind. Not everyone can do this however; if he truly cared for you, wanted to make the relationship work and have you in his life then he would have sought a way to achieve that. It’s a difficult thing to do sometimes because when there’s no trust, there is typically no relationship.
I do not condone him leading you on and making you believe that you both could start anew. I think when you both reconnected, this was an attempt at some type of reconciliation and he wanted to give it a whirl. Thereafter, he may have started to realize that he still couldn’t trust you as he should. I think he did want to be with you like before but it doesn’t seem like he can move past what happened. IF that is the case then he needed to level with you. In my opinion, I think it’s better to be open and honest then lead someone on and play with his/her emotions. That is how someone gets hurt….deeply.
I think you’re better off seeking out someone new, who you can start a new relationship with and who will see you for the whole person you are. You deserve a man who treats you right, wants to be with you, have a relationship with you and realize that you are human, are prone to mistakes and hopefully can work with you and the relationship so it lasts.
He toys with them because you allow it to happen. Do not play into his games.
I have been in the same situation, only I was in his shoes and my guy was in yours. Coming from that perspective, I understand how it may seem like he is leading you on. However, I know what it’s like to have your trust betrayed and your heart completely shattered (although, good for you for confessing and being honest about the other man. I was not so lucky in my own situation). He genuinely loves you and wants to be with you, but that broken trust and pain always comes back to haunt him. If he can’t get over it, just end it. You’ll both be miserable if you don’t.