I HATE MEN

I sat last night watching Sex and the City, and began to ponder as Carrie Bradshaw posed the question…

“What constitutes cheating?”

This is a very interesting questions to me because I thought that cheating was clearly defined…but as I listened to the four New York City women debate back and forth and take into consideration testosterone, hormones, and emotions it becomes clear to me that the lines have blurred, and everyone has their own idea of what constitutes cheating.

I personally take Charlotte’s side and I will not tolerate cheating. I believe that cheating is not only the defiance of sexual monogamy, but also emotional monogamy. We are all familiar with the common forms of infidelity, but cheating can be verbal as well as physical. In my opinion flirting is one thing, but dinner, movies, or long phone conversations with someone you are attracted to is just as damaging as infidelity, even though no sexual relations have been made.

Is it necessary that once in a committed relationship, the spectrum of cheating be defined by both parties, and an equal understanding be present? Then in this case, cheating would be any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship, which may or may not include sexual monogamy.

Is fidelity not expected in all relationships these days? Maybe, cheating CAN NOT be put in absolute terms. Carrie suggest there is a Cheating Curve. Basically saying that how people define cheating is in direct proportion to how much they want to cheat…

Whether you call it moral relativism or quantum cheating…I think Carrie might have something here. I define cheating very strictly because I have no desire to cheat. For those who like a little action on the side, their translation of cheating may be more loosely defined.

Samantha holds that cheating is human nature and those who do it should be forgiven. Does Samantha only maintain this as human nature because she herself cheats? It is very likely. Worse yet, there are those that regard it as cheating only if you get caught. Is cheating the proverbial tree in the forest? It doesn’t exist if no one is around to catch you.

Moral relativism may be the only means to define cheating. I believe it is fair to say that cheating is relative to social, cultural, and personal circumstances… No Universal Standard Exist. So, whether polyamorous or monogamous, the boundaries to which people agree vary widely. Sometimes these boundaries evolve within each relationship, and by discussing boundaries we will find if similar values exist to move on to a healthy relationship.