I HATE MEN

I would like to thank Maggie from the Boston Phoenix for filling me in about one of the Top 10 in their annual survey of THE 100 UNSEXIEST MEN OF THE YEAR.

The Boston Phoenix staff has taken much time, and careful calculations to determine exactly who are the unsexiest men of 2008.

Now these men are more than just unsexy, some can truly be considered scum of the Earth. They ARE the MEN WE HATE…hypocrites, liars, big mouth egotist, cheaters, burly fat slobs, frauds, and down right repugnant men, if we can even call them men…

Some of these men may or may not be considered physically unappealing (some are even attractive), but most have displayed unacceptable behavior, characteristics, values, motives, and some are just plain dumb.

The Top 10 UNSEXIEST MEN OF THE YEAR

10. PEREZ HILTON – YENTA SKEEZE

9. ELIOT SPITZER – THE LUV GUV

Oh, Client 9: what big ears you have! And you know what they say, right? The bigger a man’s ears . . . the more he spends on hookers! The ex-governor wasn’t exactly a New York sex symbol, even when he was beating the pants off Wall Street crooks. Now that the FBI’s got his pay-to-lay madame on a wiretap calling him “difficult” and revealing his predilection for riding bareback with prostitutes, it’s safe to say that he’s significantly reduced his potential partner pool to a handful of revenge-seeking men looking for payback in cellblock D.

8. DR. PHIL – TOUCHY FEELER

7. RYAN SEACREST – AMERICAN IDIOT

6. MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD – PERSIAN PINHEAD

5. LOU DOBBS – BORDER BULLY

4. TOM CRUISE – MAD SCIENTOLOGIST

3. LARRY CRAIG – SENATOR “GLORY, GLORY HOLE I’LL DO YA”

2. SPENCER PRATT – MTV’S LOSER HILLS-BILLY

1. ROGER CLEMENS – ROID-RAGING ROCKET

Thanks again Maggie.  Eliot Spitzer definitely deserves to be in The Top 100 Unsexiest Men of 2008. 

Well at least we know that all those men going at him in cellblock D will gladly meet without objection Spitzer desire to go bareback.  Now, I wonder how Spitzer will feel when the bareback rider will be on him?

I have decided to start a new category on I Hate Men…most appropriately called “Stupid Men in the News“. I have decided to create this new category after reading of the abashed Governor Spitzer who apparently dropped up to $80,000 on sex with prostitutes.

He is a married, 48 year old father of 3 daughters, yet he has been diving into bed with prostitutes for as long as a decade. Okay, we hate him already, but that’s not even the part that makes him stupid. There is seriously so much irony in all of it. (And I must say he is not attractive at all. He should have just been happy that he had a wife like Silda Wall Spitzer.)

Firstly, when Spitzer was the attorney general, he led investigations into prostitution, broke up call-girl rings, and prosecuted for corruption, money laundering and prostitution charges. He backed legislation targeting the sex trade, including a provision aimed at men who frequent prostitutes. These men were among an elite group of power brokers and top attorneys who regularly paid for dates at pricey escort agencies. He caught these men by following the chain of money…he investigated pay packages of Wall Street executives, and he made himself familiar with shady financial maneuvers.

So, knowing this first piece of information, one would not suspect Spitzer to partake in such activities as paying for prostitution. Likely so, he was actually being investigated by the IRS when they noticed unusual financial transactions by Spitzer. Apparently, Spitzer had divided up several financial transactions to avoid federal reporting rules. He might have been in the clear, but Spitzer got worried that he could be tied to the transfers and asked the bank to remove his name from the transactions. The bank reportedly refused, not only because of regulations, but also because the money had already gone out. The suspicious financial activity was initially reported by a bank to the IRS which, under direction from the Justice Department, brought in the FBI’s Public Corruption Squad.

Federal investigators first believed when they began investigating Spitzer that his questionable financial transactions might be linked to campaign-finance violations. It was only months later that the IRS and the FBI determined that Spitzer was not hiding bribes but payments to a company called QAT, what prosecutors say is a prostitution operation operating under the name of the Emperor’s Club. “We had no interest at all in the prostitution ring until the thing with Spitzer led us to learn about it,” said one Justice Department official.

I find it even more ironic that prosecutors reportedly have a series of e-mails and wiretapped phone conversations of Spitzer. What makes it so priceless is that in an interview 2 years ago with then Attorney General Spitzer, he gave some advice for people who break the law. “Never talk when you can nod, and never nod when you can wink, and never write an e-mail because it’s death. You’re giving prosecutors all the evidence we need,” he said.

It has been said that New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer will resign effective Monday. This is no surprise since he may face prosecution for several charges. If Spitzer intentionally broke up cash transfers into several wire payments to get around the federal disclosure requirement, he could be prosecuted for the crime of “structuring.” If Spitzer made such payments, or used money orders to pay the prostitution ring, he could also face money-laundering charges for paying an entity he knew to be a criminal enterprise.

So, in the end, it appears that Spitzer may have been done in by the same behavior he built a career out of prosecuting.