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she dumped me,i tried to kill myself then spent one month, christmas, in a mental hospital
first off, you have to know that i am not female, i have the utmost respect for women, except two, and am disgusted at the male race.
my girlfriend seemed to only want to hang out with me when she had nothing to do, and would only talk to me if there was nobody else in the vicinity.
i completely trusted this person, who shall remain nameless, i let them know all my secrets, and this was the only person i ever felt i could be myself around.
when i look back, i realize that she always treated me like carpet, something to wipe her feet on.
after eleven months she invites me over, and as always, i canceled whatever i had planned that day so i could see her.
i arrive with roses, i wold always take a gift, and when i look back, i realize that she never even thought enough of me to thank me for the gifts.
after half an our of talking, she starts making sexual moves, and keeps trying to advance. i told her her i wasn’t ready, and still in pieces from my breakup two years earlier, which was completely true, so what she does is tells me to leave and never come back.
all of this she already knew, that i still wasn’t over my last relationship and wasn’t ready for sex.
the month, when i finally went outside, i hadn’t seen anyone else for a while,
i went to the park down the road. i started crying and just stayed there on the park bench for hours, at about 8 pm, the caretaker came up to me to ask what was wrong.
i told the entire thing to a complete stranger,
and it turns out that it was her cousin. he explained to me that she had been cheating on me the entire time. he even showed me a picture of him, the other boyfriend, he had been given by her
i tried to commit suicide that night, then after a few days in hospital, i was made to stay in a mental hospital for a month. i got out three days ago and can’t even bring myself to go outside. someone from the mental hospital comes every day and makes me food, makes sure i eat, and talks to me for a few hours, i haven’t actually spoken since i met the park caretaker.
i think one of the worst things she did, apart from break my heart, is every step of the way, she was telling my secrets, my most personal information, the things i wouldn’t even tell my diary, to all of her friends, every step of the way.
i haven’t spoken to anyone for a month, haven’t said anything to anyone over the internet either, all i have done is sit huddled up in a ball, not getting any sleep and staring into nothing, a white wall, while ignoring the worker from the mental hospital.
and here i am pouring my heart out to complete strangers.
i should just kill myself…
by suicide14 Responses to “she dumped me,i tried to kill myself then spent one month, christmas, in a mental hospital”
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you sound like a wonderful kind hearted man and killing yourself over this cheating woman is not the answer. i think a lot of us have been in the place where we felt like there was no one else for us and dying was the one answer…I have found that is the furthest from the truth and while many years later I am so happy in life and love life. Don’t be afraid to let in the people who care. Best to you.
many a girl would kill for what you tried to give her. you opened up too fast to her and she walked away. A mistake i make all too often myself.
she’s not good enough for you. don’t kill yourself over her just because she decided to use and abuse. if you do that, then she will have won without even trying. it’s probably in her nature to be that way. don’t hate yourself or try to kill yourself because she is inadequate to listen to your heart.
i wish you the best of luck in finding that amazing woman who will see you for how precious you are.
You’re wonderful. You deserve someone so much better. Hope you feel better, don’t commit suicide.
You Sound Like a Really Nice Guy. Someone Most Girls Out There Are Looking For. But To Try And Commit Suicide Over A Cheatin W***E I Think Was Pointless. U Gave Her The Satisfaction And For What? Never Let Anyone Get The Better Of You, I Learnt That The Hard Way. U Deserve Someone Really Nice and I Hate To Say It Better Than Me (Which is hard) :p. But I Hope You Find Your Happiness And Strength.
My, my, somebody was in a satirical mood….ha maybe you should have signed your name as jonathan swift instead of suicide. clever clever.
this man is not a ’sweetheart’, he is a disturbed individual who needs intense therapy and self reflection. to the OP, dude get help. do NOT kill yourself. get serious about treating yourself with some love and respect. get ANGRY and act, because i am willing to bet good money that your hatred for yourself spilled into every aspect of your life long before any of these women were a glimmer in your eye. and when you met these women, they saw you coming a mile away. despite the warning signs, you allowed yourself to be abused and ignored the several road signs that this recent girl was not interested in enriching your life or sharing one with you. buying her gifts and not getting a thank you, trying to be everything and getting nothing in return, being lied to and laughed at behind your back….ladies – doesn’t this sound like exactly what men do to us? you cannot avoid this kind of treatment although you are smart, independent, beautiful, charming, kind, funny, or generous. i know. i am all of these things and i am sure most of the women here can attribute these qualities to themselves and more. there have been many tears and a lot of confusion about why i only draw assholes and scum unworthy of me into my life. i have been doing it my WHOLE dating life. when people say they’ve dated good men, it boggles my mind. i haven’t had the pleasure of attracting any. but i realized very recently, that i have a habit of giving of myself both physically and emotionally way too soon. before i even stop to check on if this person deserves the trust or the devotion i have draped him with. i think this is why it is always much later that we can come up with these ‘loser lists’ – all the asshole, unkind and downright abusive things the jerkoff did during the relationship that we should have used as an exit then and THERE. we cling so much to what we want, the relationship, the companionship, not to have to get out there and play ‘getting to know you’ again with someone else, the sex, the miniscule moments he’s not being a piece of shit…that we lose sight of our basic needs and show the person we are dating/married to that we do not deserve more from them because we do not demand more.
oh, and ladies, don’t blow smoke up this guys ass and reassure him that what he was doing in this relationship was healthy and that any woman would die to be treated that way. such a post immediately elicits our nurturing instinct. women in general fall for tears and drama so easily when it’s gussied up to be in our best interests! it ain’t: he kept seeing her even though she made it clear he was her backups backup. (yeah we love men who have no dignity) he dropped anything he was doing to run to her side (yeah we love men who have no life and suffocate us into being their sole reason to live) he brought the bitch presents every visit and she thanked him with her contempt (women love gifts from desperate men they aren’t interested in) and lastly, when he was granted audience with her, he spent it pouring out his sob stories and emotional baggage (playing armchair psychologist make us wet). please. but why did she try to sleep with him? because she had not been listening to a damn thing he said and thought he’d be useful for at least one thing. when he rejected her advances, she gave him the boot for suddenly having a modicum of a spine. the last part also sounds VERY familiar to me in my dealings with men! it is unfortunate that people will use you to bits if you allow it. but they will, dude. they most certainly will. you have to head that shit off at the pass. and do yourself a favor, don’t think for one moment, anyone wants to be your world. cliche that it is, no one will see any value in you if you cannot see it in yourself. finding yourself in this type of relationship over and over again is rooted in fear. no matter who i dated, i never really trusted them, due to my past. no matter who i dated, i never truly believed they would be different. in my heart i really hate men and think they are all the same jackass in different packaging. i shouldn’t be dating until i move past that and trust myself to make better decisions regarding them. and to the OP, you may be doing the same. you more than likely have a deep rooted mistrust or resentment of women rather than having respect for them. i knew a guy just like this. he was friends with my friend for 15 years. she would tell me his horror stories about cheating, skanky exes. he even had her fooled into thinking he was innocent. he too, ended up in the hospital ‘over a woman’. got to dating him shortly after we met, and at first yes, he was the dream guy we THINK we want, with the gifts and spending all this time together. but i shortly discovered that he loved all women only when shit was going his way. i was his shoulder during a horrible time, after his mother died from cancer. his last girlfriend was an unfeeling whore, etc. (boy did i make two huge mistakes- the rebound girl and the tragedy girl at once!) but no matter how much i was there to build him up, how sane i was in the face of his emotional bs, how directly opposite i was in comparison to his last girlfriend, he ended up sabatoging our relationship and then not only blaming me but going from ‘realizing mistakes and being madly in love with’ me, to calling me every name in the book in the process and discussing our relationship with people i didn’t even know. after it was over, he continued to bitch to our mutual friend about ‘not being able to find a good woman’ and she cut him off. he wasn’t interested in finding a good woman. he wanted the drama laden girl. he wanted conflict. he wanted to be able to toss on about how badly he gets treated. it was a odd sort of comfort to him. why? because the fucker is mentally unstable.
this last guy i was with was a doozy, because he just left. just disappeared without one word to me, any discussion, any argument after an 8 month relationship. added to that, i happen to know he is blithely going about his business as though nothing could be finer. the shock, the betrayal, the audacity of his actions. and i never contacted him to ask where he’s been, why he’s gone or any of that bullshit, because it would be pointless. i have my ‘loser list’ and hey..wasn’t he always a shit at communication…wasn’t it almost always by text? didn’t i always have to make the plans? didn’t he sleep until 1pm even after i drove half an hour to see him…didn’t he always use that annoying mocking voice when we argued even though he’s a 30 year old man…i never met his friends but he met mine…didn’the pull this disappearing act right before christmas…wasn’t i always his only social outlet because he was just that lazy…didn’t he once tell me his dream was to appear on the howard stern show…and on and on. so every day, i tell myself what a goddamn waste of my time he was and get on with my life. but for now, i despise, loathe, want to castrate and hate men.
Dear Friend,
Sorry to hear about ur trouble. I understand what your going through. sometimes when ppl we love do something nasty like that .. life feels hopeless.
the person who is disturbed is not you but her. She doesnt know what love is and is not capable of receiving it because she has not worth in life. She cheats on you and then she will cheat on her other boyfriend. The cycle will continue until one day, she is all alone..
my friend, there are kind hearted people out there who will be nice and considerate. I am sure its hard for you to trust anyone but take small steps towards happiness. Be sure to around ur family and friends who love and care for you and will advise you when things go bad.
Just replied to your last post first….know this was posted ages ago but I only jtus found this site!
Hope you’re feeling better now….I’m sorry to hear what an awful experience you had.
I know how you feel. I’m depressed too and its hard to have any faith in the world.
I don’t think you have much respect for yourself. I know its hard when other people don’t show you respect, but you need to learn to like and respect yourself. Then you won’t attract people like her and let people treat you badly.
You should try to find some hobbies and achieve something – don’t you have any ambitions? Try to learn something new. Maybe volunteer in a charity shop – I used to do that and loved it. It helped give me self respect, made me feel like I was doing something worthwhile, let me talk briefly with customers, and it forced me out of bed in the morning.
Concentrate on your own life and maybe find friends…I’ve just broken up with someone and don’t know if she really cared…so I’m going to try to make some genuine friends, and I spend time with my mum and dog when I see them…
Take care x
just doit already
go to the next world.its nice there
u will be reincarnated as a mouse
squeek squeek
get a backbone lad.u can be happy on ur own.just ask robinson crusoe.he liked it and so do i.
I hope ur okay dude. You dont deserve what happened to you. And don’t kill yourself, because someone out there loves you. And, if you don’t believe me, I love you.