Comments on: Jealous, Controlling, Possessive Men

By: Martie

Martie — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 10:45:31 +0000

I have been married to a jealous, possessive and controlling man for 20 years now. It’s only recently that I realised his Controlling manner after reading about it on the Internet. I don’t even want to mention all the years of verbas abuse, the fact that he cannot handle and make peace with my bubbly and outgoing and warm personality, the worst now is that he’s trying to turn me against my son of 12 years old. He now claims that my son is jealous of him because my son wants me to himself. But it’s my husband who always wants me to himself. My son has my warm personality and my husband cannot handle that. He even goes as far as saying that my son is in love with me, and that is “not on”, because I am HIS wife and I am HIS best friend because he doesn’t have friends, I am HIS solemate, I am HIS best friend, I AM HIS !! He cannot possess me !!!! I’ve moved out 7 times in these 20 years, and moved back, but I can now see the control through the devil which he “had” over me. My mother and I prayed seriously about 2 weeks ago and broke the devil’s ways over my son and me. I am planning to move out of the house very soon and get this horrible marriage behind me. I’m 44 years old and I want to live another 44 years, but not like this. Please pray for my son & me. M

By: Cheating Girlfriend

Cheating Girlfriend — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 02:57:39 +0000

So this is the way it had to end… with her on top of another man. Well, let\’s see the instant replay!

By: possessive men

possessive men — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 00:58:09 +0000

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By: Jenifer D.

Jenifer D. — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 03:16:56 +0000

Been there, done that, bought the cool clothes after-the-fact. Not all menfolk are like that; open your mind and close your heart, just for basic protection. He’s out there. Just take your time.

By: crazyhorse

crazyhorse — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 17:10:35 +0000

I agree that open honest communication is the key to overcoming jealousy. Of course, this is the key to everything in a healthy relationship. Glad to see you are doing better…

By: a better woman

a better woman — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:56:26 +0000

Firstly, I am not saying that I think jealousy is a childish, pointless feeling. I agree that everyone experiencing the thought of jealousy, but if you read on I explain that I believe these thoughts can be overcome in a good relationship that endures positive qualities such as kindness, intelligence, honesty, patience, and vibrancy.

When I refer to becoming jealous I am talking of the act of jealousy, and no longer the thoughts of jealousy. I agree it is human nature to experience thoughts of jealousy, but there are ways to cope with these thoughts. It is also much easier to cope with these thoughts when you have a quality commitment where openness and honesty are supported and displayed.

My experience of jealousy with my ex-boyfriend was a more severe type of pathological jealousy. In his case his jealousy triggered violence, but he was also experiencing feelings of guilt which added to his acting out, and was heightened by his overall fear that I would commit the same acts as he did.

I hope I have clarified myself in agreeing that it is common to have thoughts of jealousy, but acting upon this thought to the point of becoming envious and creating a corrosive relationship is what I don't get. With proper communication these thoughts of jealous can be overcome before it manifest into a situation like I experienced.

By: crazyhorse

crazyhorse — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:26:01 +0000

I just want to comment on the first part: jealousy. I think you do this a complete disservice by glossing over it with “there is no reason to be jealous”. You are saying you think the guy/girl’s jealousy is a childish, pointless feeling. Feelings are just that..neither wrong or right. Acting on them is what I believe you are trying to get at, but I dont want to put words in your mouth. I have said that jealousy is one of the most basic, human emotions anyone can have. Cain and Able is a great story about this. People have used jealousy in relationships to get their partner to change. example: A woman flirts with another to see if her partner still has feelings for her/pay attention to her. the problem: If you have to use jealousy to get your partner to give you what you need, you are running the risk of having batshit crazy stuff happen.

My point is that everyone feels jealous. It is natural. When the person you like talks to an ex, it is natural to feel jealous. Acting on it is when you become a guest on Jerry Springer…