I HATE MEN

I was so excited to go the county fair, mainly for all the great homemade food, but I also enjoy looking at the crafts and the farm animals.

I went to the fair with a guy I’ve been hanging out with for about a month now. I really didn’t expect to be spending any money, as he had asked me to do something with him, but my expectations were wrong.

When we arrived at the fair he was already complaining about paying to park, so I offered to pay for that. He did pay my admission which was kind of him, but that’s where the kindness ended.

As we entered the dirt lot, he looked upset, and expressed his concern about his car getting dirty (my first thought: “r u kidding me”), but I maintained my sweetness (I really am a sweetheart, this is part of my problem…i am just too nice). “Aww, well you can just wash your car later, right?” He did not respond. (That’s the other thing, I felt like I was pulling teeth the entire way there just to have a conversation with him. All he could do is complain about how long it was taking to get there…well maybe if you were able to carry on a conversation with me and have fun on the way up, time would have seemed to fly…your loss.)

Upon entering the fair, we both had food on our minds, unfortunately he did not like anything that I did. As I said I go for the homemade food, and I avoid all the flashy concession stands that offer food from a vat of grease. He said he was a healthy eater, but he ended up eating some of the most fattening and quite honestly the most unoriginal food you can get from a fair. I on the other hand, chose a very delicious beef sandwich carved right off the side of a cow cooking over a fire. Yum.

After we finished eating we walked around and looked at a lot of different things (well actually we just walked around a lot), we did not really go to any stands…I actually felt like we were wandering aimlessly, which I hate because I like to have a game plan for everything.

I am an organized woman and I hate to waste time. My plan for the night was get my beef sandwich, find homemade pumpkin pie or pumpkin ice cream, maybe a funnel cake, see the farm animals, and check out the craft stands, maybe buy pumpkins to carve together another day, and of course watch the fireworks…

It was obvious from the beginning of my date, that my plan would most likely get thrown out the window. He was no help when I wanted to find any of the stands. I don’t know if he was overwhelmed or what, but he just had that deer in headlights thing going on all night. He did not want to see the farm animals, had no interest in crafts, and at that point I didn’t even bring up the idea of carving pumpkins because I probably would have ended up stabbing myself if I had to go through another grueling night like this one. (HELP!)

I finally found an ice cream stand that I liked, so I got a cone of ice cream from there. He had already had a milkshake earlier and said that he did not want anything. I offered him a taste of my ice cream and he took a great bite out of it (so gross).

I was just disgusted, and he seemed in a hurry to leave so we ended up leaving even before the fireworks…he wanted to go home and watch football. (If football is that important to you don’t make plans on a night that it is on TV. I enjoy football too, so if you want to watch it I won’t get mad if you plan around it. I have to add, it wasn’t even his team that was playing, and he didn’t have money on it, it was just another game…)

On the way out I stopped to use the restroom and had him hold my ice cream, of course he ate more of it while I was in there. He didn’t even offer to pay for the freakin’ thing when I got it, but sure you can eat it I didn’t want it. Don’t give the little girl any of her ice cream, sure you can eat it, go pack on more blubber for winter. Wow…it can get worse.

On the ride home he just kept making funny noises and poking me. It was the most immature thing I experienced in a while. I asked him if he had tourette’s. He just laughed…I was serious.

Then a song I really like came on the radio (Colors by Crossfade), and I asked him if he like it and if I could turn it up. He said he didn’t like it and kept it turned down low. He said that when I was driving I could control the radio…oh, but when Guns n’ Roses came on he had to turn the damn thing up to 45. (Are you stuck in the 80’s…then he went on to tell me that Axle Rose, and Charles Manson inspires him…now there are some great role model if I ever needed one…please.) He saw my disgust and went on to say, “Well who inspires you?” I said, “I don’t know, my mom, Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly…people that actually did something good in their life.” I think this is where the conversation ended on the car ride home, or I just zoned out. Now I was the one that was feeling like it was taking forever to get somewhere…HOME.

Then I started to think about all my asshole boyfriends that were so much better than this guy. How I had so much more fun with them. How I had so much more in common with them. How much I loved spending time with him…

Our night ended oddly, and my night ended with me thinking about the one person that I have been trying not to think about so much.