I HATE MEN

This is a work in progress, so bear with me as I add and edit my post of “getting in touch with your emotions”.

The building blocks of a relationship is our emotions, everyone has them and they sometimes override our thoughts and influence our behavior.  While everyone has emotions, a lot of us have no idea how to control them.

To start we must first recognize our emotions, then we must be able to judge or criticize some of our emotions or feelings.

Not until we truly understand our emotions can we construct a solid foundation for communicating (verbally and non-verbally) our emotions and feelings to others.  These are skills that must be developed, and are not something that we are born with.

When we are met with a problem in the relationship we often only look at the surface symptoms, and often neglect to acknowledge that there may be more fundamental issues at the core of the problem(s).

If you can not recognize stress or these emotional overloads that you face, you may resort to the fight-or-flight response that our body enables to save us from an overload.  Our stress responses can paralyze us emotionally and undermine even the strongest love or work relationship.

When we are in control of our emotions we can accurately display our trust, empathy, and confidence.  When we lose control of our emotions is when we spin into confusion, depression, and doubt.  You need to bring your emotions into balance and improve communications in all of your relationships to improve the ability to recognize and control emotions.

You need to understand and own your emotions.  This will allow you to take part in satisfying and meaningful relationships.  Not only do you learn to understand yourself but it allows you to understand others.

Without the ability to communicate emotion, it is impossible to build or maintain a healthy relationship, as communication of emotions is the lifeline of all relationships.

Emotions are your guide to meaningful communication, so lets get in touch with our emotions.  If you don’t understand them you can easily become lost.

We are all born with a capacity to understand emotions, yet many people lose touch with some or all of their emotions.  Yes, it is possible to go from experiencing job, fear, sadness, and anger to an existence empty of emotions.

There are several reason that this happens, at times we our taught to downplay our emotions, and encourage to think, rather than feel.  This is taught through culture, and even through the institutions or military or religion.  Often earlier experiences in life can be to blame, as when faced with a painful or confusing emotional communication, we substitute less hurtful or secondary emotions.  People attempt to control their emotions, rather than experiencing them.  Some people just get good at distracting themselves, whether it be through entertainment, compulsive thoughts, additive behavior, or even mind chatter so that we distance ourselves from motions we fear or dislike.  We get stuck in one feeling and stay there - anger, sadness, fear…we can distort and numb emotions but we can not eliminate them.

We need to reclaim our raw core emotions, and why it may be seem hard to become familiar with these feelings that have intimidated us, our bodies were built to handle it.

Stress to store emotional awareness (intelligence)

1.  retrieve emotional awareness

Ok, you are crying, so why are you crying.  are you afraid, sad, lonely, happy?

2.  learn to manage emotions

This is what people mean when the say “get in touch” with their emotions.  Every emotion you ignore has a cost.  People build an emotional coping strategy to avoid, minimize, or they may think manages their feelings, but inside they are suffering from emotional deprivation.

Emotion points us in a direction, and is our primary source of motivation.  Without emotions people lose the desire to do much of anything, they lose the desire to love and the desire to live.

Un-restricted, our emotions quickly come and go.  Anytime we see, hear, or read something it momentarily triggers a strong feeling of some sort.  Generally they do not stay with us, unless we continue to think about them…in turn stoking our emotions.  If our thoughts dissipate, so does the painful or difficult feelings…we regain power as these tough emotions lose the power to control our attention.

When we experience trauma of loss, abuse and isolation we may lose our emotional awareness.  If one core feeling is dampened down, the rest are also diminished.

Just as important as verbal communication is non-verbal communication.  Nonverbal communication is the lifelong pulley that consciously or unconsciously sends either positive or negative signals to others. Nothing reveals more to others about us, or attracts others to us, than wordless communication.  Together, all nonverbal signals communicate your interest and investment in others.  So if we stop touching, oh-ing and ah-ing this can subconsciously tell our partner that we are no longer interested in them, and in turn our partner backs off to avoid getting hurt.

If we are aware of, comfort with, and respect our emotions, it makes us more sensitive to other people’s feelings.  When we are presented with verbal or even non-verbal communication from our partners, we have the opportunity to respond with nonverbal cues that reflect emotional understanding and care.  Sometimes that is all a person needs to know is that you noticed their feelings, and that you care.

okay more to come soon!