I HATE MEN

The Eskimo have hundreds of words for snow, and we’ve invented three times that many words for relationships, but the more words we invent the harder it becomes to define. In a world where you can date without sex, screw without dating, and in the end keep most of your sex partners as friends long after the screwing is over…what really defines a relationship?

I wrote about the difference between “dating” vs “boyfriend/girlfriend”, but let’s dig a little deeper into relationships.

First I think it is fair to say that any person that you are in a relationship with is also a friend. In friendships/relationships we establish a social relationship, often interpersonal. Interpersonal relationships vary in their many degrees, including intimacy and sharing. Generally people are able to establish a relationship due in fact that they share things in common.

So the relationship has been establish…let’s try to define it. While we have created hundred of words for relationships, I think that we can categorize it down to less than ten: marriage, a long-term romance, lovers, soulmates, boyfriend & girlfriend, significant others, mistress, friends with benefits, or just friends (purely platonic)

Now comes the hard part…sustaining the relationship. Having a lot in common is great, but that is not always enough to withstand relationship woes. More often than not relationships fail due to lack of honest communication and awareness.

To sustain a relationship, you need to be perceptive…listen, pay attention to body language, and sometimes you have to read in between the lines. Remember it is best to maintain interaction, encourage openness, and be completely honest with each other. There is no reason to hide how you feel, even if you are afraid that you may offend your partner. I have learned that keeping your feelings in will not facilitate a closer bond, but rather weaken the bond that was initially created.

You may find it difficult to communicate when you partner builds up a wall, or seems disconnected, but I think there are many ways to open the connection. One of the best ways to open the lines of communication is to ensure that your partner is comfortable with you, and also that they trust you. A good way to instill trust is to share personal details of your own life…maybe tell them something that not everyone knows. By trusting or confiding in them, they may become more comfortable to confide in you. You can share details of your life, your childhood, or your best kept memories. One of my favorite casual and fun ways to learn about a person is to play “never have I ever”…while they are often single statements, it tells you a lot about a person’s character, demeanor, values, and even their sense of humor. Be creative, and open-minded…if you and your partner are looking for the same things, by working together you can both find it!

I guess everyone wants to find that “perfect” relationship, but I think that there are relationship requirements that need to be met in order to even come close to getting it right.

Is it possible to find both a mind blowing physical connection and an intellectual relationship? I guess only time will tell.