The Loss of Faith

I have never had what could be called ‘luck’ in romance. All the memories I have of things having to do with relationships and such are painful ones, even those dating back to the grade school days. I never had the experience of having your crush like you back, or of holding a boy’s hand, or even of a first kiss. Now, I suppose that some would say that being only 18 gives me a very good probability of experiencing some of these things soon. However, I have come to the conclusion over the past few days that I have officially lost all and any faith I once had for these creatures called men. I am what most would call pretty, maybe even beautiful, and I am young yet I feel as though I’ve been dealt a very shitty hand. I was raised by good people who instilled in me a sense of morality and taught me how to behave like a young lady should, but I have found out the hard way that being ‘proper’ and presentable is not what attracts men these days. No, they want what is easy and accessible; why invest time and effort into a relationship when you get your nut without having to be in one? Why would you respect and treat a woman nicely when that is not at all necessary in order to get in her pants? We live in a world where everything is about instant gratification, where things like marriage are obsolete. We live in a world of casual and loveless sex. However, not just because the general population believes that marriage and waiting for love until sex are outdated ideas, means that everyone shares the same point of view. Maybe some of us still hold marriage to be something sacred and valuable. Maybe some of us don’t just want quick and sticky sexual encounters but the whole shebang: love, intimacy, and then sex. Maybe, just maybe, some of us are still saving ourselves for the right person to come along. But you know what? I think that ‘right person’ might not exist, he died along with all my hope of someday finding true love. I suppose it is the most recent event in my non-existant love life that shattered all of my hopes: I met a boy. Yes, I did meet a boy, a seemingly good potential candidate. Everything was fine at the beginning, he seemed smart and pleasant. He came to see me a couple times and all we did was talk, then he just disappeared; he would not pick up the phone or anything. And one day, after some weeks of no contact, I happen to run into him and he literally takes off running. To this day, I have no idea what happened to make him act that way when everything was going so well. That was when I was 16; when I was 17 I met another boy. It was by chance and he was the first to come onto me, but I was shy and didn’t really respond. I did flirt back though, later on, and the attraction seemed mutual. Since I didn’t really have time to express my interest in him, I left him a note saying that I would love to kinda get to know him better and that he should not be afraid to give me a ring sometime. I left him my phone number, email address, and all my contact information. I never got so much as a text. I actually worked up the courage to leave this guy a note and didn’t even recieve a pity email or something telling me that he just wan’t interested. I waited for days by the phone and never heard from him again, much like the first one. I was heart broken by that point and convinced that I was cursed or something, and then the completely unexpected happened: I met someone. He seemed amazing: smart, witty, attractive, basically the whole package. We shared a good couple of days together and then he told me he had to leave because he had recieved orders for Japan (he’s military); he would be gone for seven months. I told him that I really enjoyed talking to him and that we would stay in touch. We did keep in touch, within a few days of arriving at his station, he added me on a very popular social networking site (I think it’s pretty obvious). I was somewhat surprised since I did not even know he had one of those, but I was happy that we had another method of communication. So once I confirmed then I began to look around his page, and what do I find? A comment on one of his recent pictures by a woman who curiously shares his last name…I decide to investigate further and click on her profile. As could be predicted, this very young woman is indeed his wife, and she has just given birth to their first child. Needless to say, I was shocked, here was this seemingly charming and smart young serviceman who seemed very interested in pursuing a relationship with me, oh but what’s this? Yeah, he has a very young wife and child back home, in the same damn city as the one I live in. He had not once mentioned that he had any children or a wife or anything, it was only upon some careful questioning on my part that he admitted to having a young child. However, in regards to the mother, he stated that she had forced him to marry her because she got pregnant and tricked him and took all his money and that he had just filed for a divorce because he could never bring himself to be with a woman like her. Mind you, they had been married only two months ago, and at the same time he was trying to feed me these lies, he was posting on her page about how much he missed her and hated beign away from her for such a long time. So not only was he trying to line up someone to cheat on her with when he got back to the States, but he was also saying horrible and untrue things about her behind her back to other girls. How much of a dog can you be? I mean honestly, how low down and dirty can you get? This so called ‘man’ that I had the unfortunate luck of encountering is nothing more than scum in my book. He was not only cheating on the mother of his children but also trash talking about her with pretty strangers. He does not deserve to be considered a man, he does not deserve to have children, and he definately doesn’t deserve to have a completely clueless and loving wife waiting for him back home. That’s the part that really got me, that this poor girl was completely clueless to her husband’s dirty deeds and was genuinely and faithfully awaiting his return; she had no idea. After this event was when I came to the conclusion that I have lost all faith in men. I have discovered that most men will do you wrong, I have proof of that: not only was I ridiculed by boys until I grew up and got ‘pretty’ but I have observed first-hand how men can act like dogs. Dogs that will turn around and hump anything that moves with complete disregard for ‘stupid’ things like marriage and fidelity. They are scum: liars, cheaters, and most of all bastards. I used to be attracted to the strapping young servicemen and now I see them and only feel disgust. I am disgusted by the male way of being. I hate them for cheating on their wives and abandoning their children, I hate them for their inability to control their need to hump everything that moves, and most of all I hate them for their stupidity and complete disregard of our feelings. They don’t and will never know or understand how much a woman can love a man, how you can love them so much it hurts and with complete disregard for yourself. They don’t feel like we do, they are not programed to feel with such intensity and because their small brain cannot comprehend emotion, they only care about who’s going to get them off next. And that, right there, is the reason I absolutely and totally hate men.

This post was submitted by MsAmy.

Not another one

I have been dating for a long time and I really have had some good times I can’t complain. I think its because I never stick around long enough for the bad times. The other day my bestfriend tells me her husband has been cheating on her and has put her and their kids out of their house and is moving his new girlfriend in. Over the years I have heard tons of stories like this and worse. I know it has effected me in some way because the minute a guy get close I push them away. I keep wondering what you have to put up with to maintain a relationship. I have seen friends and family put up with all kinds of drama like cheating, getting someone else pregnant or just being taken for granted. I know the tpye of person I am I could never put up with that. I really don’t want to end up being another angry woman but the future seems grim. I have built up such high walls even if the guy was the right guy right now he couldn’t get through. My bestfriends husband always seemed to be in love with her, I just wonder how can you really tell or is it all a trick. All I know is that if i hear another story I am going to lose the little hope that I have and just continue to be the serial monogamous that I have been being.
Signing off Not trying to become a angry woman.

This post was submitted by morethan.

Does it ever End

So I just truned 31 like yesterday and it all got me to think about the year that I have had. I had been dating this guy named Richi for about 2 1/2 years and the whole time I had been wondering why was I with him. I was a really great guy a real gentalmen that is until he starts drinking, which was way to often. He would totally change and trun into this grade A hole. So by March I decided to end it but it was not so easy because he wouldn’t go away. Almost every other night I would get calls 1,2, 4 o’clock in the morning. It din’t stop for months until I threaten him with a restraning order.

Then there was this guy Shaun who i had been friends with for about two years we finally decided to go out. He was I really nice guy always brought flowers and had the best conversation.I must really say that I like him as a person.So about a month or to into dating we had sex. I must say that it was the smallest penis that I had ever seen on a man. It was the worst I had ever had but because I liked him I kept it to myself and continued to see him.After a few months go by he tells me that he has to go out town so I’m cool weeks go by and he never called me. I would have been really hurt if the sex was good but it did bother me that if i could put up with his little penis he could at least have ended it properly.
A few months ago I meet this really nice guy Victor and we really had a good time together but after two months he told me that he was getting back together with his old girlfriend.
At some point this kind of stuff has got to end I am so tired of these Sex in the City moments this year needs a do over. I mean high school and the twenties are long gone and I am still dealing with men and mess I just keep wondering will it ever stop. I have totally given up on relationships and decided to just be happy as is it just dose not seem worth it anymore.

This post was submitted by Smapples.

Being a Woman

i had never had any sort of love life until highschool. i was unwanted by my peers, and thus alone until i was eighteen years old. Thats when i met John, an older man who wanted me. And after being alone for so long, i was willing and ready to take whoever and whatever showed me the slightest bit of attention.

This is an issue alot of women have, from what i can tell. We crawl on our hands and knees for men just because we feel like we need the connection. We need their approval that we are worth something. I’ve found that this approach doesnt usually have the best results.

so, he showed me attention. and within two months i had lost my virginity. John was my first everything. i hadnt even held hands with a man before him. Too bad John wanted what most men want – sex. And sadly my naive little heart made that all too easy for him.
he had broken up with me a week later.

Many women, from what i can tell, find themselves in this situation far too often. We have so many situations where we let ourselves get used, and yet we still try desperately to find “mr right”. When we know that the moment we find a potential match we’ll start finding even more reasons why he isnt such a match for us after all. We begin to look for the traits we hate – and when one searches for something usually they find it.

We come to the same conclusion every time. All men are cheats, liars, scum, and so on. You know what i think all women hate more than men though? Being a woman.

This post was submitted by everythingisthepast.

Who Lies and Then Just leaves?

So I had been dating this great guy for about two months. He was exactly what I was looking for. He took me on a trip out of town one day, was always a gentleman opening doors for me, always offered to buy. He would even invite me over to cook for me. He’s quite a bit older than me but looks like he can be less than 10 years older than me. Once we were dating for about a month he started taking me to meet his friends. They all seemed to love me. He’s a hunter and according to some male friends of mine, if the hunting dog likes you, the hunter will too. His dog always got so excited whenever I would walk up his driveway. He had kids from a previous marriage, last week he even had me meet them. Sounds perfect, right? Not so much…

His friends always told me that he was such a good guy, he never would cheat, and he would always treat me like a lady. He started asking me how I would feel about having an older boyfriend. I said I was fine with it as long as he was good to me. He always told me he wanted a woman who was faithful and treated him right. His ex wife and him were both in the military and she ended up cheating on him. His most recent ex also was pretty cruel to him from what I understand. I know men who have military experience don’t like to talk about their feelings but after he stopped the “relationship talk” I wanted to bring it up one day. When I brought it up he said it was the age difference that was holding him back. He was worried what my parents would think. I knew they wouldnt care. He then pulled me very close and nuzzled my neck. I thought it was a very strange move. It showed me he cared, and he just wanted someone to care about him. A few weeks later I was watching the game with him and some of his friends and his friends were making fun of him because of his age. He became very withdrawn and sad. When I got him alone later that night he told me he wished he was younger for me. Everything he had said and done up to that point showed me he wanted something special between us. The next day, however, I found out he had lied to me about his age. After that he stopped talking to me. I really liked this guy and I feel so stupid right now for being the “hit it and quit it”. How can someone lie to you and then leave YOU??? He knows age doesn’t matter to me and that I enjoyed our time together so much… If he enjoyed it as much as he said he did then why did he leave…?

This post was submitted by justabrokenheart.

WHY AM I STUCK IN THE PAST…….

It’s been over a year and I’m still confused about if I’m still not over this guy and maybe why I don’t let others guys I date get the chance to see how I really am. We’ve never exclusive but just talking. I’ve never felt this way about my ex’s even though we’ve been together for years. It was more about a connection and his presence being there was enough. He’s an amazing person and he never realized it. I’ve never met anyone like him before. I’ve been dating other guys but it seems like i always compare the guys I date to what he’s not. Sometimes i wonder if i told him how i felt things would of turned out differently. At that time he was single with a kid. He couldn’t get his ex to stop bugging him. It seemed like she was forcing to get back together and he didn’t want that. I wasn’t ready to be in drama again so i backed off cause i didn’t really have no say in it. He had so much problems i didn’t wanna be another problem in his life so i gave up my happiness so others can be happy. It hit me pretty hard having someone good pass you bye. I hear that he’s now married his ex. I’m really happy for him and I hope that he found his happiness. All i wanted was closure but i never had the chance to get it. I have this regret that I can’t move on from.

This post was submitted by !@#$LOSTSOUL.

I really do not want to hate men

but I think I do. At least I hate the things I see them do. I hate how married men or men in relationships hit on me. It ruins my view of relationships with men. I hate how studies show 1 in 4 women have been raped or abused. I hated how my father treated my mother. I hate the good old boys club and how they shut women out and want to keep us poor. I hate the class ceiling. I hate turning on the news and hearing about a man killing his wife and family and anybody else around. I hate how men join Ted Bundy’s fan club. I hate how men lie. I hate how some married men end up like Sandusky raping boys. I hate that I will probably never get married. I hate how I will never know a soulmate. I hate how men objectify women. I hate how I distrust men. I am a realist. I hate bad boys. I hate that if there are good men it’s so few and they are usually taken and unappreciated. I hate how society treats women. I hate that I am scared to let a man in my life. I hate that men hated me first. I hate how men hate women more than we hate men. There are really more men that hate women than women who hate men. This makes no sense to me. The world owes me nothing and I owe the world nothing. I don’t owe men sex. I don’t owe men a date. Thinking the world owes you something has led to many rapes and murders and domestic violence. And if a man doesn’t respect me well I sure as hell don’t owe him respect back but I am not going to go put a bullet in his head for it. I hate their arrogance. I hate their superiority complexes. I hate their sense of entitlement. I hate their views on women. I could go on and on.Help me not to hate these men because sometimes it just eats me how much I hate them. I really don’t want to hate men but I find it impossible not to.

This post was submitted by HelpformyHate.

A little reminder from the universe

Seems to be that quite a few problems described actually come from the supposed victims overgrown sense of entitlement. So i decided to carry the message of Azatoth, err sorry, the cold and carelss void outside some of you think the white bearded skydaddy is hiding behind.

Want to have a kind, good looking and succesful husband who would bring down the start for you if he could, or a beautiful, faithful wife, who takes care of you? TOUGH LUCK SUCKERS! You have to work for it, and on a competetivie market, that doesn’t guarantee anything either. With so many lieing covers on those books, you can count yourself lucky if it doesn’t bite you in the ass on the first page.

So forget any sentence that starts with “i deserve..” because neither you or i deserve anything, and the only thing certain is death!

Before we forget and go on biching about what we do not have. Here is a small reminder to you all!
Some religious folks my disagree, karma and all that made up bull**** by people who think the universe is some conscious entity who gives a damn about the hairless apes living on this tiny rock.

To put it as short and blunt as possible:
The world owes you nothing, it was here first.

This post was submitted by Muzolf.

maybe I don’t want to play games either,.

So I’m 25. I’ve been at this, online for awhile. I live in the portland oregon area currently. I used to reside in florida. I’ve had a LOT of negative experiences with women that have left me ironically not hating women but viewing men as predators and some kind of wicked… I’m a lone wolf now because other men are generally an embarassment. A couple years ago I was going out with a chick who pointed the finger at a man for having raped her…I was as happy as could be and totally unsuspecting…. I tried to comfort her… she told me she was strong….. anyways…4 days later I get broken up with in a text message and about 3 weeks later I’m curious about her and look her up and the guy she’s dating is the very guy she claimed raped her. The next one lied to me for 2 years and got married out of nowhere only to be divorced after getting into a car accident and losing some mobility… clearly me, sweet as can be, was not marriage material. unfortunately she spent so much time lying to me it was all I could do to demand a copy of the accident report which was never …. given to me. The next one, found out some of my most inner secrets, like how this whole being pissed off at men thing has seriously damaged my sense of actually being a man…I think just like a woman…. It’s not that man sterotypes don’t fit… it’s that when women rant about their feelings it’s the exact same thing I’m feeling… she got taken in by a guy who played the hot and cold game with her and before I knew it I was told I needed to move if I wanted to be with her… I saved for a car, for nearly 2 years only to be blocked and defriended for reasons unknown to me…

all of that said. I’m not mad at women. I’m mad at men. I’m just tired of women who respond kindly to assholes or men who give mixed signals-there are a million subtle signs that a guy is going to be a real disaster before it turns into one and that seems to be the VERY Thing that gives them a hormone rush. Maybe it’s biology…maybe attraction isn’t a choice…but I’m starting to feel like a womans intuition about men is totally off.

This post was submitted by paul tidwell.

Hot and Cold

So I started seeing a guy, had a lot of fun with him and things seemed fine now he’s ignoring me for some reason. I wonder what the bloody hell I’ve done wrong but I honestly don’t know. It just re-affirms my belief that men are all the same, they get what they want and then they go on their merry way. all I can say is well done! I am now a total believer in AMAB All Men Are Bastards.

This post was submitted by emzyma.

enough is enough

I am tired of:
Caring about what men think about me.
Having to check what mood they are on.
Loving a guy that I didn’t even know at one point and end up hating him.
Trusting a guy to end up finding out that he didn’t deserve to be trusted.
Making an effort to make something work.

This post was submitted by ar.

How does this go again?????

So I was in a relationship for six years, it went from ….well anyway all of that is not important. What I am wondering is how do you go about entering the dating scene these days. It seems that no one takes the time to get to know each other and become friends. These days people meet, exchange numbers, go out once (maybe twice) and then they’re rolling in the hay! Why don’t people take the time to get to know each other any more? Why are relationships built off of sex, when sex should be based on the relationship? I am so confused lol! Like really, how does this go again?

This post was submitted by Trying Something New.