I have never had what could be called ‘luck’ in romance. All the memories I have of things having to do with relationships and such are painful ones, even those dating back to the grade school days. I never had the experience of having your crush like you back, or of holding a boy’s hand, or even of a first kiss. Now, I suppose that some would say that being only 18 gives me a very good probability of experiencing some of these things soon. However, I have come to the conclusion over the past few days that I have officially lost all and any faith I once had for these creatures called men. I am what most would call pretty, maybe even beautiful, and I am young yet I feel as though I’ve been dealt a very shitty hand. I was raised by good people who instilled in me a sense of morality and taught me how to behave like a young lady should, but I have found out the hard way that being ‘proper’ and presentable is not what attracts men these days. No, they want what is easy and accessible; why invest time and effort into a relationship when you get your nut without having to be in one? Why would you respect and treat a woman nicely when that is not at all necessary in order to get in her pants? We live in a world where everything is about instant gratification, where things like marriage are obsolete. We live in a world of casual and loveless sex. However, not just because the general population believes that marriage and waiting for love until sex are outdated ideas, means that everyone shares the same point of view. Maybe some of us still hold marriage to be something sacred and valuable. Maybe some of us don’t just want quick and sticky sexual encounters but the whole shebang: love, intimacy, and then sex. Maybe, just maybe, some of us are still saving ourselves for the right person to come along. But you know what? I think that ‘right person’ might not exist, he died along with all my hope of someday finding true love. I suppose it is the most recent event in my non-existant love life that shattered all of my hopes: I met a boy. Yes, I did meet a boy, a seemingly good potential candidate. Everything was fine at the beginning, he seemed smart and pleasant. He came to see me a couple times and all we did was talk, then he just disappeared; he would not pick up the phone or anything. And one day, after some weeks of no contact, I happen to run into him and he literally takes off running. To this day, I have no idea what happened to make him act that way when everything was going so well. That was when I was 16; when I was 17 I met another boy. It was by chance and he was the first to come onto me, but I was shy and didn’t really respond. I did flirt back though, later on, and the attraction seemed mutual. Since I didn’t really have time to express my interest in him, I left him a note saying that I would love to kinda get to know him better and that he should not be afraid to give me a ring sometime. I left him my phone number, email address, and all my contact information. I never got so much as a text. I actually worked up the courage to leave this guy a note and didn’t even recieve a pity email or something telling me that he just wan’t interested. I waited for days by the phone and never heard from him again, much like the first one. I was heart broken by that point and convinced that I was cursed or something, and then the completely unexpected happened: I met someone. He seemed amazing: smart, witty, attractive, basically the whole package. We shared a good couple of days together and then he told me he had to leave because he had recieved orders for Japan (he’s military); he would be gone for seven months. I told him that I really enjoyed talking to him and that we would stay in touch. We did keep in touch, within a few days of arriving at his station, he added me on a very popular social networking site (I think it’s pretty obvious). I was somewhat surprised since I did not even know he had one of those, but I was happy that we had another method of communication. So once I confirmed then I began to look around his page, and what do I find? A comment on one of his recent pictures by a woman who curiously shares his last name…I decide to investigate further and click on her profile. As could be predicted, this very young woman is indeed his wife, and she has just given birth to their first child. Needless to say, I was shocked, here was this seemingly charming and smart young serviceman who seemed very interested in pursuing a relationship with me, oh but what’s this? Yeah, he has a very young wife and child back home, in the same damn city as the one I live in. He had not once mentioned that he had any children or a wife or anything, it was only upon some careful questioning on my part that he admitted to having a young child. However, in regards to the mother, he stated that she had forced him to marry her because she got pregnant and tricked him and took all his money and that he had just filed for a divorce because he could never bring himself to be with a woman like her. Mind you, they had been married only two months ago, and at the same time he was trying to feed me these lies, he was posting on her page about how much he missed her and hated beign away from her for such a long time. So not only was he trying to line up someone to cheat on her with when he got back to the States, but he was also saying horrible and untrue things about her behind her back to other girls. How much of a dog can you be? I mean honestly, how low down and dirty can you get? This so called ‘man’ that I had the unfortunate luck of encountering is nothing more than scum in my book. He was not only cheating on the mother of his children but also trash talking about her with pretty strangers. He does not deserve to be considered a man, he does not deserve to have children, and he definately doesn’t deserve to have a completely clueless and loving wife waiting for him back home. That’s the part that really got me, that this poor girl was completely clueless to her husband’s dirty deeds and was genuinely and faithfully awaiting his return; she had no idea. After this event was when I came to the conclusion that I have lost all faith in men. I have discovered that most men will do you wrong, I have proof of that: not only was I ridiculed by boys until I grew up and got ‘pretty’ but I have observed first-hand how men can act like dogs. Dogs that will turn around and hump anything that moves with complete disregard for ‘stupid’ things like marriage and fidelity. They are scum: liars, cheaters, and most of all bastards. I used to be attracted to the strapping young servicemen and now I see them and only feel disgust. I am disgusted by the male way of being. I hate them for cheating on their wives and abandoning their children, I hate them for their inability to control their need to hump everything that moves, and most of all I hate them for their stupidity and complete disregard of our feelings. They don’t and will never know or understand how much a woman can love a man, how you can love them so much it hurts and with complete disregard for yourself. They don’t feel like we do, they are not programed to feel with such intensity and because their small brain cannot comprehend emotion, they only care about who’s going to get them off next. And that, right there, is the reason I absolutely and totally hate men.
This post was submitted by MsAmy.
