I HATE MEN

oooo so typical right. Falling in love is supposed to be this wonderful whirlwind that takes over your mind body and soul. And for years I have been through countless relationships in search of this whirlwind. In January, I met my match. Funny. Cute. Sarcastic. Understood my crazy ways. And it felt like a match made in heaven. But unfortunately being a woman in love – it blocks your view of reality.

This said man pushed me into a relationship, even when I suggested we slow it down. He insisted that he loved me and I should open my heart to him. Like a fool I did. And after 5 months, he gutted me. Telling me the day before our anniversary that he needs some time apart. Now the b.s. gets better. We spend two weeks apart then revisit each other and spend the most incredible time with each together. I’m thinking things are great and back to normal. Think again. He tells me four days later that he doesn’t want to be with me and I need to just get out of his life. He also accused me of trying to work things out with him so that I can be the victim. I’m going through a ridiculous assortment of emotions. On one hand, I want him back because I miss him like crazy. On the other hand I want him to suffer like I currently am. My days melt into nights that melt into days and I feel as though I am a zombie. I feel dead on the inside but I know I’m still moving. The crappy part is that I have caught him in lies, I know he’s no good for me. I know he’s a bad guy, but I can’t let go. The love swirls through my mind and these memories start replaying themselves over and over in my head.

Why is it so damn hard to let go?