The Eskimo have hundreds of words for snow, and we’ve invented three times that many words for relationships, but the more words we invent the harder it becomes to define. In a world where you can date without sex, screw without dating, and in the end keep most of your sex partners as friends long after the screwing is over…what really defines a relationship?

I wrote about the difference between “dating” vs “boyfriend/girlfriend”, but let’s dig a little deeper into relationships.

First I think it is fair to say that any person that you are in a relationship with is also a friend. In friendships/relationships we establish a social relationship, often interpersonal. Interpersonal relationships vary in their many degrees, including intimacy and sharing. Generally people are able to establish a relationship due in fact that they share things in common.

So the relationship has been establish…let’s try to define it. While we have created hundred of words for relationships, I think that we can categorize it down to less than ten: marriage, a long-term romance, lovers, soulmates, boyfriend & girlfriend, significant others, mistress, friends with benefits, or just friends (purely platonic)

Now comes the hard part…sustaining the relationship. Having a lot in common is great, but that is not always enough to withstand relationship woes. More often than not relationships fail due to lack of honest communication and awareness.

To sustain a relationship, you need to be perceptive…listen, pay attention to body language, and sometimes you have to read in between the lines. Remember it is best to maintain interaction, encourage openness, and be completely honest with each other. There is no reason to hide how you feel, even if you are afraid that you may offend your partner. I have learned that keeping your feelings in will not facilitate a closer bond, but rather weaken the bond that was initially created.

You may find it difficult to communicate when you partner builds up a wall, or seems disconnected, but I think there are many ways to open the connection. One of the best ways to open the lines of communication is to ensure that your partner is comfortable with you, and also that they trust you. A good way to instill trust is to share personal details of your own life…maybe tell them something that not everyone knows. By trusting or confiding in them, they may become more comfortable to confide in you. You can share details of your life, your childhood, or your best kept memories. One of my favorite casual and fun ways to learn about a person is to play “never have I ever”…while they are often single statements, it tells you a lot about a person’s character, demeanor, values, and even their sense of humor. Be creative, and open-minded…if you and your partner are looking for the same things, by working together you can both find it!

I guess everyone wants to find that “perfect” relationship, but I think that there are relationship requirements that need to be met in order to even come close to getting it right.

Is it possible to find both a mind blowing physical connection and an intellectual relationship? I guess only time will tell.

Eliot Spitzer received a perfect score on his LSAT, spent 6 yrs with the Manhattan district attorney’s office, and was the Attorney General for the state of New York. It is fair to say he jugar interactivojuegos azar portalganar dinero real pagina internetcomo ganar en casinoganar premios pagina webjuegos de ruletajuego seguro pagina webcasinos internacionalesvideo poquerjuego interactivo portales internetjuego casino internetestrategia ruletaganar dinero verdadero portal webjuegos casino onlinejugar video poker onlinejugar interactivo portales webjuego ruleta gratiscasinos virtuales internetganar dinero portal webjugar gratis portales webjugar seguro paginas internetcasino on the netonline kasinosdeutsche online casinovideo poker pclive rouletteswiss online casinoonline casino lastschriftpc slotslotto spielenonline casino gamescasinos im internetroulette strategiencasino spiele downloadencasino online spielencasino gameonline spieleonline jack blackblackjack online spielecasino kostenlos spielenkostenloses kasinosbwin roulettebicycle casino gamesroulette gewinnespielen im casino,casino poker spielen,casino spielenroulette kostenlos online spielenkostenlos roulette spielencasino gamblingonline casino guideroulette trick has some experience with legal matters…”some” being and understatement.

So, I would think everyone is asking the same question as I am…Is Eliot Spitzer stupid?

Perhaps, as an individual he is quite intelligent, but maybe not in social situations. When Spitzer was committing the acts, he was no longer thinking as a Governor, or a lawyer, but as a man who wanted to get laid. He was basically fitting into that character (a horny man), and in turn conformed to what was the perceived social norms of a lascivious man.

Still, that is no excuse for what he did. Eliot Spitzer acted in a way that was outside his norm, but he knew what he was doing was wrong.

Eliot Spitzer deserves the “Stupid Man of the Year Award”.

As I sit and watch Sex and the City, Carrie proposes an odd analogy, “I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies. Two seemingly different ideas that might just be perfect together – like chocolate and peanut butter.”

So, I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies…as with victims of the lobotomy their sacrifice can be similar to what some sacrifice to try to make a relationship work. Whether it is through psychosurgery or relationship identity loss,”an area essential to the human being – the personality – is destroyed”.

After a relationship, it does feel that we have lost many things that have made us a unique human being…such as love, concern for others, empathy, self-insight, creativity, initiative, autonomy, rationality, abstract reasoning, judgment, future planning, foresight, will-power, determination, and concentration.

Now why the consequences of the surgery are irreversible, I believe that when a relationship is concluded, we can rebuild our personality and all that qualities that made us the great person we were.

At the end of a relationship, we have not only lost the love for our mate, but often love for ourselves. We need to take the time to love ourselves again before we can try to love someone else.

Not only do we lose love, we might stop caring about ourselves and others. Maybe we drive erratically, start bad habits, or even abuse ourselves or others. I believe if we accomplish the first step, and love ourselves, we can avoid the loss of concern for ourselves and others. Remember to maintain a appreciation for yourself and each other through the relationship to avoid the loss of empathy.

Often in relationships we lose autonomy and self-insight, as we are no longer independent. We may have allowed our previous mate to make the decisions, or influence our decisions…often when our mate may not have our best interest in mind. Throughout a relationship it is important to maintain your independence. When making a decision in a relationship it should be made as a team…consider the pros/cons of the decision and how it will affect both of you, as well as each of you as individuals. If the decision does not equal a positive when both of you are considered, it is not a good decision.

If we continue to allow others to make decisions for us, we also find a loss of rationality and abstract reasoning. Sound judgment, responsibility, and common sense become clouded and we are unable to properly analyze and solve problems. Remember to keep your values close to heart when making decisions in life…don’t lose sight of your creativity & drive, and never let your mate put you down.

In a relationship, we spend so much time planning for a future with one person. So when the relationship is ended we have difficulty in planning for just us. Remember, it is okay to be selfish and think about yourself. Don’t run away when you feel lost, you should try to find your home…try find where “you” belong in life. If you run away now, when you stop to look around later you may realize that you have become more lost than when you started. Think about where you would like to be in 5 years. Think about education or your career. Face your fears, and don’t take the path that seems the easiest. While it is easier to run away, it seems best to take the time to do something to make your life better.

We find it difficult to anticipate or expect, when what was normal to us is never more. It will take some time to adjust to a new way of living, but never stop living. We were born with a will to live…with drive and determination, so don’t stop driving towards your goals in life. Stay positive, motivated, creative, and most of all, alive with who you are. Don’t hide who you are, or pretend to be something you are not.

As SJP asked, “To be in a couple, do you have to put your single self on a shelf?”

I think it is important to stay true to who we are…because if we put our “single self” on a shelf, who’s to say it will still be there or be the same…I would never want there to be a shelf life on me.

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As I sit and stare at my computer screen, I am completely stumped about what to write on ihatemen.org today.  As I look to my right, I see a dozen beautiful roses and a fun Valentine’s Day card…it is hard to hate men on Valentine’s Day.  Actually, the man that gave me these roses has never given me a reason to hate him.  Today has just been so surreal.  Lunch, red roses, the cute card…I find it difficult to concentrate on my work.  I have never made a big deal out of Valentine’s Day, but today has really been wonderful.  From the very beginning of my day it has just been great…granted I was 10 minutes late for work, and I almost fell down my steps as my legs were just so weak, but it was definitely worth it.

I hope that all my readers are able to enjoy this hallmark holiday as much as I have so far. Now I will leave you with my favorite story of how Valentine’s Day originated.

There are many opinions as to who was the original Valentine.

In any event, in 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honor St. Valentine. Through the centuries, the Christian holiday became a time to exchange love messages and St. Valentine became a patron saint of lovers.

Valentine’s Day is closely approaching, and I am sure each one of us has our own feeling about this holiday that is considered the “most romantic” day of the year.

Maybe you hate Valentine’s day, hate men, or hate everyone…

Regardless, I’m sure this was not the case when you were a child. I have the fondest memories of Valentine’s Day growing up…and the one thing about Valentine’s Day that stick is my head is watching Disney’s 1986 TV Special DTV Romancin…

I hope you can find some enjoyment as Disney takes a shot at explaining love and heartache.