I HATE MEN

In the new book What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love and Marriage, author Amy Sutherland explains how secrets from animal trainers can help us deal in life and love relationships.  Here are 6 genius love-life tips that we could all learn from.

1. Accept that some things may never change.  “A trainer thinks twice about teaching an animal something that goes against its instinct–good luck getting a raccoon not to wash its food,” says Sutherland.
2. Ignore the behavior you don’t want.  If a trainer ask for a flip but gets a jump, he responds with a head-to-toe poker face, because any reaction reinforces the behavior.  So if your mate responds or acts in a way you don’t like, it is better to do nothing at that time then jump into the situation, and fuel the fire.  For instance, your mates temper flares, and you jump in, generally this only fuels his/her temper.  Exercise self-control at moments like this and they will look for new (hopefully positive) ways to get you attention.
3. Make sure to compliment the behavior you do want.  Remember, the bigger the effort he makes, the bigger the reward should be.
4. Don’t blame yourself when he behaves badly.  Good animal trainers don’t take it personally when an animal won’t sit and stay–behavior is just behavior.  Stop asking why they are doing something to you, and instead ask why were they doing it.  Maybe they are doing something because it is easy or makes sense to them, and not because they don’t love you.
5. Pick your moments wisely.  While at training school, students learn not to work with snakes while they are molting, because the snakes are more likely to bite.  The same goes for humans.  Don’t try and reason with someone when either of you are sick, distracted, tired, hungry or grouchy.  If you do, be prepared to get snapped at.
6. Keep your mate happy.  Withholding food was once a popular technique with dolphin trainers.  Today, however, handlers know that denying the animal does not inspire positive change.  “Resist giving the cold shoulder and cutting off affection,” says Sutherland.  Use positive feedback to inspire positive change.