30 Harsh Things A Woman Can Say…

Here’s 30 harsh things a woman can say to a naked man.

1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it’s cute.
3. Why don’t we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It’s okay, we’ll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no… I just got a flash headache.
11. (Giggling and pointing)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won’t take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird.

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This entry was written by Riley and posted on November 19, 2007 at 1:57 pm and filed under 'All About Men' Jokes. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

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6 Comments so far (Add 1 more)

I have a small cock. No woman has ever said anything about it but it seems small to me. I intentionally do not date women or hook up with them in any way so as not to have a girl make fun of my cock or make any of the above jokes or comments. I really don’t need to hear it. I’ve taken myself out of the dating pool because I know women wouldn’t be satisfied with me. It’s the least I can do for them.

1. GuyWithSmallTool on June 17th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
The thing few women understand about men is that they’re ego is far more concentrated.

Whereas a man can insult a woman’s chest, butt, hair, face, stomach, laugh, voice, etc.; all with effect, men really only respond to phallic insults.

So, think of it this way, to insult a man’s penis (or even joke about it, really) is akin to a man insulting every possible aspect of a woman at once.

And, as has already been stated, there’s nothing a man can do to fix it, it’s like mocking someone for being disfigured.

Which is really, basically, what it is. A disfigurement. It’s a permanent loss of a man’s utility. He can try to cover it up through things like talent, but that’s the best he can do. Men are very jealous creatures, that you even think anything bad about his penis is an incredible insult - and even if you don’t, he’ll assume that you are. Even without malicious jokes, it’s a very cruel situation.

What I’m really trying to say is: this is the internet, and people are enormous assholes on the internet; that’s not a new thing. However, jokes of this type are far more cruel than their counterparts on men’s websites. Women really don’t have any common sexual flaws that they can’t fix simply by eating better and exercising. Even if a woman is cursed with being incredibly loose, this condition will generally be blamed on the man anyways.

That all said: a few of these were quite witty, it’s quite possible that I’m being a bit harsh; there should really be rules about staying up untill 7 AM while watching porn of ridiculously endowed men, then posting comments on an anti-men blog.

Still, remember: if men aren’t supposed to hit women because of differeing phsyical ability, then women shouldn’t be able to insult a man’s penis. In both cases, it’s extremely easy for one gender to harm the other, but they’re bound not to by morals. Any woman who insults a man’s penis fully deserves a beating. I’ll never be the one to carry it out, but I think this is fair.

2. someguy on February 5th, 2008 at 7:28 am
You people are getting this all wrong…are there really this many stupid people roaming around the Internet? This site IS made for entertainment and some social commentary. What A Better Woman is suggesting is something humorous, nothing more. That’s not to say that every woman doesn’t remember these quotes at the encounter of a small penis…but it’s meant to be humorous.

By the way, I, Public Gym, am a guy. A red - blooded American male, therefore I know how males think. A small penis matters a lot to a man’s security. If you’re saying it doesn’t, then you’re either one of the kindest women on the face of this big blue marble, or you’re a guy with a small penis. What does it matter? It matters a lot if you’re a guy. I totally get this list and I laughed at it, and all A Better Woman was trying to do was share a little bit of humor and social commentary on the encounter of a small penis. It’s not to be taken seriously.

4. Public Gym on November 20th, 2007 at 10:59 am
Personally, I do not think of a “small” penis as a disfigurement, and everything that is different about a person makes them unique. That being said, I do not think that size is in any way related to sexual performance.

Secondly, I am not suggesting insult as a course of action, and I have never personally said any of these things to a man and I do not encourage the use of them. This site is meant to be fun, and offer wisdom or in this case a good laugh when you are having a bad day.

Please do not assume to know me just by a post that I have submitted. I have been in several healthy relationships, and I am actually still good friends will all of them. In all of my relationships I offered words of encouragement, and always tried to be the best friend and mate that I could.

5. a better woman on November 20th, 2007 at 10:45 am
That is, your asses can be worked off with physical excercise, and large breasts aren’t required for intercourse. It hurts really deeply when a part of your body you can’t fix is insulted-somewhat like being introduced to the fact that you have a disfigurement you will have for the rest of your life. Men will be unrealistically hurt with penis jokes, even if they’re not really small.

Regarding insults in general, they just don’t work in a relationship. Instead of making eachother both so insecure that it’s a wonder you any longer feel human, it’s best to actually WORK OUT the problems, or call it off.

That the blogger here even suggests insults as a course of action suggests she probably doesn’t know what a healthy relationship is.

6. What does it matter? on November 19th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
As seemingly funny this might be, I encourage most women to only use things like these in sentences where they aren’t afraid of emotionally scarring a man for years.

Really.

That is, unless that man happens to be really secure, then these are useless.

7. What does it matter? on November 19th, 2007 at 8:35 pm

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