Men get off on their own lies…

I have been hanging out with this guy for the past 3 months. Now when I first met him, I knew instantly that he wasn’t interested in a relationship, and at that time, I was, so I didn’t try to take things so serious with him, as the next few months past, I began to realize I did not want a relationship with anyone either, I have more important things to focus on in my life then having a boyfriend. So I basically saw this as a purely sexual “relationship”, which you’d think any guy would love, right? Well not as he stated, he insisted that he was hanging out with me on a friendship level, rather then just a “fuck buddy” level. Now, that’s all well and good, but the only thing he seems capable of talking to me about is sex and his work, I’ve tried bringing up other topics of similar interest, but he more or less just brushes it off and reverts back to his usual ramblings without a second thought. The only thing that bothers me with this is, it’s not exactly a friendship, it is specifically sexual, on both ends… and again, all well and good, seeing as how that’s all I want from him as well. But his insistence on this having more depth then that, is what gets me. Either he is entirely self absorbed, or he just doesn’t want to admit to the fact that this is a sex-driven “friendship”, in which I had already admitted to, and he did not protest the situation. But why does he not just tell the truth? Why does he seem to be trying so hard to make it seem like it’s something more when in clearly isn’t and I am perfectly ok with those terms? The only thing that I can conclude from these findings, is that he gets off on deceiving and lying to women and making them do certain things under the pretense of a deeper meaning, like he just doesn’t want a chick that’s cool with being a fuck buddy and not expecting nor wanting anything more.

I’m not here to bash men, in any way shape or form. Men are who they are, some are nice, some are mean, some just don’t give a damn but they all get off on their own lies.

This post was submitted by jadedbymen.

5 Responses to “Men get off on their own lies…”

  1. Avatar of ProtoEve ProtoEve says:

    ” but the only thing he seems capable of talking to me about is sex and his work”

    Have you considered the possibility that this is indeed all he’s capable to talk about? Maybe he’s not necessarily a liar but that’s who he is, from his perspective that’s love and friendship. Quite many men out there are not very talkative and for women verbal expression of love and frienship is very important.
    I’m not saying that you should put up with something you don’t like, just saying that you should be open to consider the possibility that there might not necessarily be liars or someone’s fault for things to be the way they are.

  2. “I’ve tried bringing up other topics of similar interest, but he more or less just brushes it off and reverts back to his usual ramblings without a second thought.”

    Sad to hear but they don’t wanna listen to your stories or musings. Everytime you even try to have a serious conversation with them they start zoning out and staring at your/another woman’s boobs…

    But I think you pulled a 180 on him by declaring that you know this is nothing more than sex. They don’t wanna hear that, because that means that your attention is shifted from their cock to either your life or – God forbid! – other men. Men want you for themselves, even in a fuck buddy type of arrangement where they have other women. When they realize that you’re fooling around as well and not fawning after them, they try to hook you into giving yourself fully to them by ‘upgrading the relationship’. Your guy says it’s not a fuck buddy relationship, but true friendship…
    Yeah, yeah… Liar!

  3. Avatar of ProtoEve ProtoEve says:

    lying implies that there is more than what is offered and that could be a misleading concept because it can push you to work towards something that’s simply not there. i’d say that in many cases is what you see is usually all there is. So take it or leave it.

    In this case simply tell your fuck buddy that you’re not connecting above the level of just sex instead of speculating how it looks from his side, that’s really more of his problem.

  4. Avatar of Androgynous says:

    Many men consider women to be not very bright, because women insist upon saying every thought in their head.* Men practice editing and stick to the facts. Men’”Just the facts Ma’am.” Men when they talk to their male relatives and friends do one of two things:

    (1) Talk to find out information.

    (2) Talk to pass on information.

    Many men secretly believe that talking with women is little better that talking to a child.

    * example Barbara met her friend Jane earlier that day. She mentions this to her husband Tom.

    Barbara: I ran into Jane today, she’s looking well but that dress she was wearing was a little too short and yellow is so not her colour. Oh and btw she’s still got that hairstyle, you know the one I said was is too young for her?

    Tom meets his friend Jane and says to his wife Barbara.

    Tom: I met Jane today.

    Barbara: Oh how is she?

    Tom: Fine.

    (Tom walks away saying nothing else. Barbara is really puzzled, why didn’t Tom say more about his encounter with Jane? Reason: Tom wanted to pass on some information. He didn’t want to or feel the slightest need to pass on idiotic information about Jane such as her hair and clothes to Barbara. E.g. Tom would never say. Tom: “Oh my god Barbara, Jane’s shoes were just to die for! Barbara’s comments about Jane seem to men to be irrelevent at best and moronic at worst.

    Ladies, remember men talk to find out or pass on information. They rarely talk to make, or strengthen an emotional connection. When forced by women to do this they greatly resent it, and they’ll tune out women that insist on him acting like a woman and sharing every thought in his head.

  5. Avatar of Androgynous says:

    Women don’t realise that men simply don’t value talking nearly as much as they do. A woman getting a one word response from a man is likely to think: “He didn’t want to share his thoughts with me because he doesn’t trust me/no longer loves me.”

    The truth is that he had some information to pass along. He passed it along and now his job is done. Men very rarely realise that their silence is often interpreted as emotional abuse by women.

    Women will spare themselves a great deal of pain if every time a man doesn’t share his process or call them for days. They realise that men really don’t value talking anywhere near as much as women do. Three or four days of not hearing from a boyfriend is agony to a woman. While the same time period seems like a couple of hours to a man. Women are often baffled when they do hear from their bf he seems utterly oblivious as to why she should be so upset not hearing from him for a couple of days. What often adds to women’s pain is that they simply can’t make him see why not talking to her for several days really is a big deal. Women often conclude that men are cold,cruel, heartless etc. While the truth is simpler. Men just don’t have a strong emotional need to connect with someone, a gf every day. In fact women that get teary and clinging and demand that he call/text/email several times a day just alienate him. They come over as being creepy, controlling and manipulative:the notorious ‘psycho girlfriend.’

    It will no doubt seem strange to women that men don’t value constant verbal communication; it is the truth though. So ladies next time you haven’t heard from him a days. Rather than scream and shout “I hate men!” Realise that he doesn’t hate you, or want to hurt you. He just doesn’t have 10% of your need to emotionally connect with a loved one daily, if not hourly the way women do.

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