My magical online “dating” experiences
I was admittedly so lonely and needy that I signed up for okcupid the week after my 18th birthday. My pillow was always very accepting of my needs, but I wanted a real boyfriend and knew it wouldn’t mind. Paranoid about my pictures being stolen for evil purposes (see my other post), I used an extreme close up of one of my eyes as a profile image and put up one other picture where half my face was hidden behind my dog. I decided that I would fill out my profile later and went to bed. The next night when I logged on, I already had a few messages even though my profile was pretty much vacant. One was from a 50 year old man, and while I don’t remember what it said verbatim, it was something like, “I know you’re having difficulty filling out your profile, but if you need help you can message me.” I thought it was a fluke. I wanted to be accepting of people, so I didn‘t use the age restriction settings at first. I don’t even remember what I put for my age preferences. I just wanted to meet a nice guy. I was still a naïve fool even after all the bullying I had experienced at school.
So I kept getting messages from men ages 40+. I also got messaged from men who looked a lot older than what they claimed to be. I don’t think I got a single freaking message from a guy in his 20’s (one person 28 I think) until after I changed my age restriction settings. I got one message from a 45 year old man who actually mentioned his wife. I blocked him. Another man who was 38 years old wanted my email address even though there was free mail and chat on the website. Stupidly, I gave it to him, and then all he did was email me CONSTANTLY, like every single day. He said very creepy things and would continue to email me via text message even though I was not replying to any of his other emails. He mailed me one time saying that I should become a female truck driver and another time saying that he had my picture in his wallet. It got so bad that I had to delete that email account. Two other guys (maybe more, I can’t remember very well) instantly attempted to start cybersex with me as soon as I responded to their chat messages. “hey there you must be the hottest girl on here.” I should have said not to die of cardiac arrest thinking about it. I also got a chat message from someone asking for my IP address and what browser I was using. I must LOOK stupid.
Once, I didn’t log on for a week due to a heavy load of schoolwork. When I checked my messages that weekend, I found hatemail from someone who literally went on for a five page rant about how I had not responded to a message he had sent me on Tuesday. He sounded like a murderous psychopath, but when I read his first message, he sounded completely normal and even nice! I blocked him, and the next day I got a chat message from someone without a profile picture. “So why was I blocked?” Before I could respond to the message, this “new” user blocked me. I got blocked from someone else after he called me a bitch for not wanting to meet up with him. I also got blocked from one of the only guys I messaged myself. He was my age and also in high school. I guess he wasn’t into brunettes, but maybe I’m creepy myself?
People would chat with me for hours if I allowed them too. I would say that I needed to go to bed, but they wouldn’t stop chatting. One guy told me that I owed him a date because he had missed work after I chatted with him too late into night. There is more than one kind of stupid I guess. I got so sick of people messaging me asking questions that I had answered in my profile, such as “What movies do you like?”. It was as if they didn’t even bother to read what I wrote. They just messaged me because they liked girls my AGE or something. And even more annoying were those asking me to meet them. I didn’t want to actually meet anyone. I was too afraid at that point. Every single time I had to decline a real life meeting, it would piss them off to the point of madness. I ended up deleting my account, sorry I had ever even made one. Not only could I not shake off the creeps, I couldn’t get the attention of anyone I liked the profile of.
You know what, maybe I’m just from a scummy area or something?
This post was submitted by 2ugly2love.
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This is for 2ugly2love. First of all, you should never assume it’s your fault your not attracting decent men on these dating websites. It’s not you and it’s not that you live in a scummy area as you put it. The only scum on those websites is the men. Second of all, this is coming from someone who has spent years trying to meet decent guys on dating phone lines. I’ve never did the whole dating website thing but I know it’s every bit as bad as phone lines. These men on datelines are all just looking for sex. Trust me. These pieces of shit will lie and try to trick and trap you to get what they want no matter what they tell you or even if they come across as nice. I rarely get on phone date lines anymore because of this. I would highly recommend you try to meet men elsewhere. Anything would be better than a dating phone line or dating website. And don’t be a victim of their lies about what they look like. They lie about everything. They are always fatter and older than what they tell you because I personally met guys on these dating phone lines so I’m speaking from years of experience. And lots of them are married or engaged or living with someone. I once had a crazy girl call me and threaten me to stay away from her fiancee even though he said he was single. This asshole wasn’t even married yet and already trying to mess around on his future wife. Shows the kind of lowlife men that are on there. Some will straight up tell you they’re married or engaged or living with someone but others will lie and try to hide it. And they are fucking psycho too. I’ve had several guys who have sent me messages but I didn’t respond for one reason or another and they went crazy on me. Every time I would hear them online they would send me messages calling me an assortment of names. Lots of them would harass me every single time they heard me on line. I blocked so many of them. I agree with every single thing you said and I felt like I had to respond since I’ve had years of experience with date line trash. I know exactly what you mean too about guys aking questions that were already answered in my profile. When I was on those lines the first thing I did was put what I looked like on there since that’s like the first thing these shallow assholes want to know. Yet they turn around and ask me what I look like as if they didn’t listen to a word I said in my profile. That tells you a lot about a guy right there. They don’t listen. What do they do, respond to any female voice they hear without listening to a word they say in their profile? I get annoyed by that too. And last but not least I don’t blame you one bit for being careful about meeting guys on there. And even more so I don’t blame you for not wanting to meet guys on there. It’s a giant waste of time. The reason they go into a temper tantrum when you won’t meet them is because they only want sex and they see your not going to give it to them. I’ve had lots of cases where the asshole cried and whined and pouted like a baby just because I don’t want to go back to their place. I never could understand why they get pissed when I wouldn’t go back to their place. They are no different than a baby who throws a temper tantrum when they don’t get their bottle or something. I always thought to myself that instead of them acting like a baby just fucking suck it up and move on. That’s what I do. I don’t kick and scream and whine because they didn’t give me what I want.
You are 18 and fresh meat to old horny dudes.
On dating sites men generally ignore the age requirement. I had an age requirement on POF with the same results- men well past my target age were sending me messages.
Most men at dating sites are looking for sex not love, no matter how much they talk about wanting to meet that special someone. If his profile says he likes cuddling he’s really saying he likes fucking.
Men-all sex, all the time.
Beware-ive tried dating sites. Most are looking for sex.Some will feign and legit interest and try to get in the sack with you. They are a bunch of teenage boys trapped in the bodies of men.