Why women lose the dating game
Naomi sat in the back row of Melbourne’s Grattan Institute, about to watch her fiance give a lecture. She was joined by three unfamiliar women – all attractive, well groomed, in their mid-30s. From their whispered chat, she quickly realised they weren’t there to hear about politics and economics but to meet her eligible man. Naomi explains: ”He’s 36 years old and is definitely someone who falls into the alpha-male category: excellent job in finance, PhD, high income, six feet two, sporty and very handsome. And he’s an utter sweetheart.”
Naomi is an attractive 28-year-old PhD student. She has been in a relationship with her fiance for six years. Her new companions were very friendly and chatted to her during the break. But then her partner, who had been socialising at the front of the room, made eye contact with Naomi and smiled.
”The women saw this and it was like the room had suddenly frozen over. There was silence and then one of them asked me if I knew him. I wasn’t going to lie, so I told them he was my partner and how long we’d been together. It was amazing how they responded. They stopped smiling at me, shifted awkwardly in their seats and looked me up and down as if they were trying to figure out how a girl who still wears jeans and ballet flats could land a guy like that.” The women left before her man gave his speech.
www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/why-women-lose-the-dating-game-20120421-1xdn0.html#ixzz2K2hHIjY3
Opinion article – Bettina Arndt
(original link by R2D2)
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i don’t see why women lose the dating game in this scenario…..
The endgame Dalrock warns about is already in play for hordes of unmarried professional women – the well-coiffed lawyers, bankers and other success stories. Many thought they could put off marriage and families until their 30s, having devoted their 20s to education, establishing careers and playing the field. But was their decade of dating a strategic mistake?
Jamie, a 30-year-old Sydney barrister, thinks so: ”Women labour under the impression they can have it all. They can have the career, this carefree lifestyle and then, at the snap of their fingers, because they are so fabulous, find a man. But if they wait until their 30s they’re competing with women who are much younger and in various ways more attractive.”
The crisis for single women in this age group seeking a mate is very real. Almost one in three women aged 30 to 34 and a quarter of late-30s women do not have a partner, according to the 2006 census statistics. And this is a growing problem. The number of partnerless women in their 30s has almost doubled since 1986.
I turn 25 in November, so let’s hope I find someone who wants marriage and kids within the next 5 years. :/
I’ve never been a career woman. I always just wanted to be a housewife and stay at home mom married with 2 kids before 30. But, men my age are still playing the field, going to the bars/clubs. And if they do have girlfriends, they still flirt with other women or cheat.
They seem to wait until they’re like 50-60 to finally be faithful family men, but by then, if they’re single, they end up marrying 20-somethings or becoming sugar daddies to women who only want money in exchange for their company.
I don’t really see anyone wanting to share the life i want, so I pretty much give up. I’m going back to school in August to have a career of my own, and maybe I’ll just adopt 2 babies.
@cutiepie
in all honesty i think you should try to be patient. i’d really like to meet a woman who is the way you describe yourself. they just seem to be as rare as you say the man you’d like to meet is. i think i’m more lost than you are though so i don’t know how’d you’d go about finding him.
I never really agreed with this article. It doesn’t look at other factors like online dating. Some older and obese girls use Internet dating to higher their standards. Lots of lonely men with no way to meet girls end up on those sites. And women can pick and choose again. This is why Internet dating is competing with the normal meeting via mutual friend.
And the perfect guy women are looking for do exist. But he isn’t available to most women. It’s like looking for the perfect job, it is there but not for you.7
Interesting article, doesn`t really applies to where i live. But it certanly made me think.
Cutiepie, the problem with your desire is this. It might have worked 50 years ago, but in the current ecenomy, not many men can afford to provide for a whole family. Wages are simple not high enough for working class people, and i know this is a problem not only for people here, but everywhere. The wages simply didn`t follow the productivity, and the ruling classes, the CEO-s, the stockholders, the fatcats are just fine with that.
Like said, there are wery few men, who could provide for a family, and the ones who do usually have different social circles as ordinary people.
Heck, compared to most people around me, i have a good pay. I managed to buy a flat on my own, and this year, turning 31, i will be able to pay the loan for it. This may not be much for an american, but beleive me, here, it means i count as upper-middle class. (As laughable this might sound, since i dont even have a car.) The thing is, most people here, even on two incomes, can barely afford the ame, and have to pay off loans for decades.
However, while i can live confortably on my own, there is no way i could provide for a whole family. It wouldn`t matter how good a girl would be in houskeeping or whatever. I simply couldn`t afford to keep someone who doesn`t have an income.
Welcome to capitalism, don`t be suprised if it ends up collapsing, and burying most of humanity in the process.
Zombie-I hope we both find what we’re looking/waiting for
Muzolf-I’m fully aware that there aren’t many men who can afford to support a family on one income, but that doesn’t mean NO man can.
If you pay attention, though, there’s more to what I’m looking for than being supported financially. I’m looking for a partner.
“If you pay attention, though, there’s more to what I’m looking for than being supported financially. I’m looking for a partner.”
Wich makes it more difficult rather then easier for you. How many people are good natured enough to be a good partner?
In my whole life, i have met a total of one person i could have lived with. With whom i genuinly think it might have worked. And then i blew it in less then two months.
I see others who keep trying until they have someone, and then how they start acting passive agressive, making eachother lives hell, but living togedher because they think it is still better then to be alone.
Muzolf:
I know stay at home moms, and their husbands are not rich. I read the average incone for one income families is $40k a year. It can be done, but you probably wont drive a new car, have lots of shopping sprees, eat at home instead of dining out, and dont live in a big city.
Cutiepie, the men are out there but most likely they are not 25.
I agree with Shazz. Its harder for older women to find mates. Young men and old men want young women. A mans dating pool expands as he gets older. For women it is the opposite.
My mom told me that I should have a career and house before I date. That means I would be 30-35yrs old getting into the dating game. Terrible, terrible advice.
And are most women there be content with such a life? My guess would be no.
Because i know, here you don`t have a choice, on two incomes you have what you have just described. A smal flat, no car, nothing fancy, somethimes not even the basics, and people complain about it all the time, despite knowing that neither of them could help it, they have no choice in the matter.
I disagree that pursuing careers is the reason why gals lose at the dating gal I think it’s a reason along with guys generally do not want to commit when gals are at their most desirable to guys and guys have high physical standards so when a gal is in her 30s he’ll want and often feel entitled to a gal in her 20s. In my opinion the dating game is rigged at a severe disadvantage for gals and if they want to ‘win’ they are suited to settle when they’re young for (much) older guys and dismiss any ideas of pursuing their dreams outside being his maid, cook, nanny, and escort.
Except that there is the 80% of beta males who would love to commit, and would probably marry the first thing that doesnt says no, as desperate they are.
But women only want the top 20% best looking cocky assholes. And you get what you deserve with this attitude. Really, what did you expect?