Is There Something Wrong With Me
I am a 20 year old MALE college student and just want to know is there something wrong with me. My issues come within my views of relationships. I believe up and down all around in equality. I do not believe in chivalry and refuse to take part in it for anyone. Its to a point that I get angry when men give up their seats and open doors for women. I dont think this way because I hate women. I really dont hate women. But i think this way because chivalry was created to protect the weak and if someone is able to die by my side in war and is capable of competing with me for my job why should i treat them as if they are weak? I believe women are incredibly strong, hard working, and fully capable of taking care of themselves. I would never do that for a man, and I do not owe you anything why would i go the extra mile to serve you. I do this in every relationship I have. I just cant feel good about chivalry. Every woman I know or who is a friend of mine either says I am mean or that I treat them to much like men. I do have plenty of female friends, they know my personality and they expect this from me. Hopefully they wouldnt have me any other way. But i could understand why women would think that way about me and its because I believe that honesty and honest criticism can be used to benefit someone in the future. I am that guy that will call you fat and tell you new hair style is stupid. Im sure it sounds like im being a jerk when writing this but my intentions are pure. I was raised as an athlete and to get someone to try harder or change something about themselves what i have noticed is that beating around the bush never works. Why would I let you leave in something that makes you look fat and if I really liked your original hair style and i dont like the new one, im just not going to lie to you. I dont know, I just believe in telling people how you feel about them all the time. And I am completely open to someone telling me what is wrong with me and those are the only people I really want to be around. My main issue is probably when I tell people about my idea of a perfect relationship. They say its ridiculous. I hope you ladies dont, but I want a separate bed, bathroom, television, car (I dont want her ever using mine), bank accounts, basically separate everything. I dont want to share anything tangible because I really just want to have a relationship with someone whos personality i absolutely enjoy rather than become enthralled by anything tangible. Im not saying that because i dont want someone to take half if we break up, I just need to know that if one of us lost it all that we would still be with each other. But wayyyy more than that im really selfish and flat out dont share. The other thing is that i really want in my relationship is to NOT HAVE A SUBMISSIVE WOMAN!!!!!!!!!! If I could write that in 75 font i would. I want someone to take care of themselves. I dont have to buy them anything. I dont want to be her protector or her provider. I want her to be fully capable of doing that herself. I dont need her to take care of me at all. I am a pretty good cook and damnit im cleaner than most people. So I dont even desire a woman to take of me i would much rather take care of myself when it comes to personal and domestic duties. I am very serious about everything I have just said. Also I do find men attractive but i need to be with a woman for my complete satisfaction.
Please answer the title question and tell me if there is hope for a woman in the world that would make me happy in the way i described. Or if I need to change.
P.S. I love this site for two reasons 1. Every story is so personal and every opinion is very strong although some (Not at all most) of them are not backed with enough evidence to make men seem evil. and
2. I dont want to be the guy that makes a woman search in google “I Hate Men” find this site, relate with it, and spill her soul to strangers about me.
Thanks for reading
This post was submitted by DienMahlee.
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Ok. I’m a woman and you sound resentful and almost jealous of women. You seem like one of those guys who hate being picked over a woman to take out the trash or fix things. You know, because if women are equal, why weren’t they asked to do it?
Well, I think you’d be better off with a feminist who hates men just as much as you hate women. For instance, my sisters don’t believe in chivalry. They pay for themselves on dates and wouldn’t be mad if their men hid behind them during a fight.
You sound like you’d be happier unmarried and living in separate homes. Just find a woman who’s extremely independent, doesn’t want you to protect her, buy her things, or fix her stopped up sink.
Also, these women tend to focus more on career and family than romantic relationships and they don’t seem to want children. If they do, it’s later in life (30s-40s)
Be advised that this kind of woman may be a bit cold, lacking empathy and affection and may also be a bit boyish. Sounds like that’s right up your alley.
Is something wrong with you? As long as you’re not hurting anyone, no.
Ms.Mendontgetit, what you speak of sounds just like a man. He also said he is attracted to men. Sounds like he is gay or a bisexual who prefers men and is in denial about it.
There are women out there for you. Sounds like you need a more masculine woman. Try a hardcore feminist or any woman who is a hard core gender egalitarian. You may end up with a ‘bean counter,’ I’m not sure if that would make you happy though.
Personally, I like chivalry. If a man isn’t going to be my protector and is going to be the male version with a bean counter then there is no reason for me to be with a man. I dont need sex, and I dont need a man to be complete. I would like kids, but you dont need men for that nowadays except for the genetic material.
Oh, nothing is wrong with you.
But i am afraid, you have been screwed ower by the propaganda of a certain political movement.
To put it shot. You have been lied to. That equality you talk about is like the equality Orwells Animal Farm. You know, all are equal, but some are more equal. The expectations for men that actually matter, you can bet you ass on it, that they wont get rid of those.
I would suggest either going celibate or doing some self analysis about your attitude, and how much it actually helps you.
And just in the case you don`t really mean what you say, but you hoped to catch some feminist pussy with that. First, ewww. Second, i would advise against it. Why? Same reason why i wouldnt advise an african-american to date a KKK member.
This is foxy and I got to chime in here. This comment is for DienMahlee by the way. First off I’m suprised you ever even had a relationship with your typical macho male attitude. First of all, you get mad when a man opens a door for a woman? What kind of bullshit is that? Do you have anger/mental issues? Why would something so petty and meaningless even bother you? If you get mad about something that small and unimportant I would hate to see how mad you get over a big issue. Then you say you don’t believe in chivalry. To me chivalry is being romantic and being a gentleman and just basically knowing how to treat a woman. Which all women like by the way. And chivalry doesn’t men a guy or woman is weak. Opening a door for a woman just means being a decent, considerate human being. It has nothing to do with being weak. And your female friends who say your mean are 100% right. I’m surprised you even have any female friends with your macho male attitude. Then you say you would never let a girl leave the house in something that makes her look fat. What a shallow pile of shit you are. I would leave an asshole male friend like you so fast I’d leave skid marks if I knew you. I could see if a girl asked you if a certain outfit made her look fat and you simply said you didn’t like the outfit. That would be fine. Girls are already touchy about their appearance as it is without you calling her fat. Girls are emotional as it is. You don’t have to lie and say she looks great but you don’t have to be an insensitive asshole either. Same thing about her hairstyle. If you don’t like her hairstyle just say it’s not your favorite hairstyle in the world but don’t say her hairstyle is stupid. Your stupid and uncaring and shallow and insensitive. Typical male by the way. And if these girls are not asking your opinion about their hairstyle or if an outfit makes them look fat then don’t put your two sense in at all. But if they are asking for your opinion don’t be an insensitive asshole. Tell them what I mentioned above. You do not deserve female friends and you definitely don’t deserve a wife or girlfriend. My advice to you, STAY SINGLE. You will save some poor girl some misery. P.S. You sound like you have emotionally and verbally abusive tendencies anyway.
This is foxy responding again to DienMahlee. With friends like you who needs enemies? Then you say you don’t want to do anything for a woman and that she should do it herself. If a miracle happens and you actually do find a wife or girlfriend then she should tell you the same thing when you want sex. Fuck off and go do it yourself. Which is probably what you’ve been doing your whole life anyway. Your a gay asshole anyway. Talking about how you find men attractive. Then go date a man then. You would get along better with a man anyway since you share so many typical male traits as the rest of your gender. Such as, being cocky, being shallow, being insensitive, being uncaring, and being an all around asshole. What woman wants a man who likes other men anyway? You would probably start wearing her clothes and her makeup and her nail polish too. Not only that, since you also like men you would be twice as likely to come home with a sexually transmitted disease if you ever cheated on her. You sound like the type who would do that. Then I still can’t get over you calling a girl fat or saying her new hairstyle is stupid. If the girl socked you in the face you would deserve it. If you liked her original hairstyle but didn’t like the new one all you have to say is her new hairstyle isn’t your favorite hairstyle in the world and you prefer her original hairstyle. But calling her new hairstyle stupid makes you look stupid. And I’ll make one more comment about you not wanting to do anything for a woman and I won’t waste any more time on someone who isn’t worth my time anyway. I could see you not wanting to do every single last thing in the world for a woman. I’m not too crazy about that kind of woman anyway. The kind who bats her eyelashes and shows cleavage and thinks she can snap her fingers and a man will do anything she wants. I don’t like the kind of woman who thinks she can have any man she wants and has all men wrapped around her finger. I’m not too fond of that type of woman anyway. But I still don’t get what’s wrong with opening a door for a woman. Then you say you don’t to buy a woman anything. Not even for her birthday? Or Valentine’s Day? Or Christmas? See, I have a theory about this topic. If a man can’t buy me at least some type of gift three lousy days out of a whole year then he’s not worth my time. And when I’m in a relationship I only expect a gift three days out of a whole year. My birthday, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas. That is not asking too much. It sounds like you might be cheap too. Another one of your wonderful qualities you can add to the list I mentioned earlier.
I do not like chivalry. I find it hilariously ignorant when women say that it’s caring or romantic. They obviously do not know its roots. I think your idea of a relationship is wrong, however. Sure, you don’t need to treat women as though they are weaker but you do need to treat them as equals. It does not make practical sense to have everything separate in a household, stop being a prima dona.
Also, foxy sounds like an embarrassment to feminism. Please shut your mouth or get educated.
>>I do not like chivalry. I find it hilariously ignorant when women say that it’s caring or romantic. They obviously do not know its roots.
Chivalry, or the chivalric code, is the traditional code of conduct associated with the medieval institution of knighthood. Chivalry arose from an idealized German custom.[1] It was originally conceived of as an aristocratic warrior code — the term derives from the French term for horseman — involving honor, gallantry, and individual training and service to others. Over time its meaning has been refined to emphasize more ideals such as knightly virtues, honor, courtly love, courtesy, and less martial aspects of the tradition.
The Knight’s Code of Chivalry was a moral system that stated all knights should protect others who can not protect themselves, such as widows, children, and elders. All knights needed to have the strength and skills to fight wars in the Middle Ages. Knights not only had to be strong but they were also extremely disciplined and were expected to use their power to protect the weak and defenseless. Knights vowed to be loyal, generous, and “noble bearing”. Knights were required to tell the truth at all times and always respect the honour of women. Knights not only vowed to protect the weak but also vowed to guard the honor of all fellow knights. They always had to obey those who were placed in authority and were never allowed to refuse a challenge from an equal. Knights lived by honor and for glory. Knights were to fear God and maintain His Church. Knights always kept their faith and never turned their back on a foe. Knights despised pecuniary reward. They persevered to the end in any enterprise begun.[2] Essentially, a chivalric knight is a Christian military soldier. “Certain law” stated a man must be a baptized Christian in order to become a knight.[1]
Historian Johan Huizinga remarks in his book The Waning of the Middle Ages, “the source of the chivalrous idea, is pride aspiring to beauty, and formalized pride gives rise to a conception of honour, which is the pole of noble life.”[3]
This is foxy with something to say to caustic. You shut your mouth. You got to be a male. Of course you don’t believe in chivalry, your a typical man. And why do you asshole men come to this site anyway? And then give your bullshit comments and unwanted opinions. And your yet another embarrassment to your asshole male gender. Proving once again that all men are assholes.
Don`t worry, those men doen`t have anything on you when it comes to being an asshole.
>>I want someone to take care of themselves. I dont have to buy them anything. I dont want to be her protector or her provider. I want her to be fully capable of doing that herself. I dont need her to take care of me at all.
Then I have to ask why you would even want a woman then. Buy yourself a blow up doll…… problem solved.
“hope you ladies dont, but I want a separate bed, bathroom, television, car (I dont want her ever using mine), bank accounts, basically separate everything. ”
Why separate bed? That being said, i dont think it’s a bad idea to have a separate bathroom or car…I think some couples have a joint account in addition to individual accounts.
As a woman (without all the possible adjectives), I don’t think that any of what you’ve said is wrong or weird.
Some (perhaps most?) women are not going to be your type, and that’s fine. Just don’t ask for compromises on her part if you can’t make compromises yourself. And if it doesn’t work out because of your respective principles, don’t go and play the blame game.
This being said, I do honestly hope you can be happy with someone who wants AND expects the sames things as you, if a relationship is something you think you truly want.
What substance do you find in this kind of relationship?
What is the purpose, the “driving force” behind it?
What exactly will it satisfy in you, what are the good things that it would bring out in you?
How do you think this arrangement will satisfy both parties?
I’m not laying “traps” here – because although I honestly don’t think you’ve chosen the right site to ask this question, I don’t expect you to risk any responses and expose yourself to the ire of people who may (rightfully or not) be feeling resentful today.
I ask these questions because as someone who is very independent and not very fond of commitment, I’ve asked myself these very same questions.
The experiences I’ve had and the answers I’ve found have led me to opt for deliberate celibacy. Perhaps yours will lead you somewhere else.
Either way, I hope that the decisions you’ll make based on these answers will leave you happy and fulfilled.
Good luck!