A pack of testosterone
Earlier this evening, after work, my sister (who works at the same place as me) was supposed to get a lift home by a guy she’s been dating for a while (he’s a nice guy). She said I could come too, so I said OK. So he arrived at the same time as the bus did, but when I looked in the car, I saw 2 other guys in there and immediately I changed my mind and said I’d take the bus instead. I know, maybe it was a little stupid thing of me to do, but I just got this icky feeling… Sure, I got male friends, I admit it, but they are just friends and I hardly even see them.
This post was submitted by Cupcake.
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This post feels incomplete and a bit confusing at the end.
I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make other than you weren’t comfortable riding in the car with your sister and three guys.
By your title and by the fact that this is posted on a site called I hate men I’m expecting to read something bad about men or these men in particular.
Did they say anything bad to you?
make obscene gestures?
Why did you get this icky feeling?
Have men in the past done something to you so wrong that getting in the car with more than one makes you feel uncomfortable?
Are you trying to make a point about a subconscious prejudice you have against men whether those particular did anything to you or not?
Are you trying to say that your (presumed) hatred and/or fear of men is affecting your life making you inconvenience yourself?
Also, what happened to your sister?
Did she take the bus with you or go with the guy? ( I must say, it would be a dick move if she made him come pick her up and then took the bus instead)
If she did go with the guy, how come you let her go alone especially after getting this “icky feeling”?
What does you having male friends that you don’t see often have to do with the rest of the story?
I feel like there is a huge part of this story that you did not put in! I am really confused right now.
Can’t you read? She did go with them. After all, it was her BOYFRIEND who offered a lift. Btw, she’s 5 years older than me, not a baby.
What I mean about having male friends, is that I may dislike men, but I contradict myself by still having male friends. I’ve had those friends long before I started disliking men, so I can’t tell them “You’re guys, I don’t want to be friends with you anymore”. They are my FRIENDS. And what I mean by “I don’t see them very often” is that they live far away from me.
Yes, men have been horrible to me in the past, and I’ve managed seven months without seeing another one. I’ve been busy regaining my strength and confidence. I intent to keep going down this road and not let anyone get in my way. That’s why I’ve become very defensive. Sure, I’m honest enough to admit that I would like to have a special man in my life some day, I’m not gonna lie about that. But until then, I’m single and you’ll have to be FUCKING AMAZING to change that.
P.S The point of this site is that women get to ventilate. Just to share thoughts and feelings. That’s why I posted this. Simply for the ventilation. What are you doing here, anyway?
I could read, it just felt like this story was leading to something you wanted to express relating to why you hate men or possibly how this event validates your hatred of men, or something along those lines but instead I didn’t see that. Sorry, maybe I was expecting something different.
I know what the site is for, and I have nothing against people wanting to vent their anger/frustration/hatred/whatever against men. Really I think it’s a good thing to have such a release and people willing to listen. I’ve actually been coming to this site for quite a while though mostly been just lurking lately, not really posting any more because I either have nothing to say or unsure of my own opinions.
As for what I’m doing here, I really am not that sure. Honestly, I have not a clue, I use to like replying and having discussions with people about certain opinions on things concerning men, but for a while I stopped that and just read posts and replies. A lot of times the posts and discussions in the threads are pretty interesting.
As for why I chose to respond to your post, again, I’m not sure, mostly due to my confusion and expecting there to be more to the post I guess.
On the topic of your guy friends, I don’t really see it as a contradiction to have male friends and hate men. It could just be that you hate most guys but have a few exceptions. Just because you hate men in general doesn’t men you have to hate every single guy.
I’m sorry to hear that men have done bad things to you. Sounds like it was from a past relationship(s), if so, staying single is the better option. Keep at it and work on what makes you happy!
You’re right, there are exceptions. I don’t hate my brother, for example. Although I do have many sisters (6 of them), I choose to talk to him about guys and he talks to me about girls.
Do you think I want to hate men? I don’t. It’s just that during all these years of having to pick up the pieces of my heart time and time again, and building myself up, I’ve also built a fortress around me.
I was prepared for a fight, but thank you for understandng, Tony.
Yes, that was a very understanding and kind response Tony
@Cupcake: First off, wow…7 siblings…that is either amazing or scary.
I don’t think anyone really wants to hate, hatred isn’t a pleasant thing to feel and I’m sure if people had a choice they would choose to not hate instead. Also, I know that hatred always has a source like pain, sadness, frustration or jealousy, it never really just comes up on its own.
Don’t worry, we can have this fight another time, whenever we are talking about a subject in which our opinions differ, just know that I will try to be civil even though I might come off as rude.
@Tooky: Why is everyone surprised that I could be understanding? I might have came off rude with my first response but I didn’t mean to!
Tony, chill out dude
I didn’t think your post sounded particularly rude. But I think that your responses were very kind considering the context of the site.
@Tony: Hahah, it’s actually both amazing and scary. :p
You’re right. I would like to let go of this hatred, but I just don’t know where, when and how to start. Like I said before, I’m also very defensive and afraid, so I guess I have to start by laying down my sword, because I don’t think this is healthy in the long run. It’s good to have some alone time to figure this stuff out and do other things. I actually talked about this with my colleagues (all women) today at work.
And Tony, I don’t wish to fight. We can debate, though. That’s a difference. On the Internet, it’s sometimes hard to know what a person really means when they make a statement, because it’s not like irl: you can hear the tone of their voice, see their body language and facial expressions etc. Looking forward to upcoming conversations.
Sounds to me like the OP kept herself from getting gang raped…
Very smart not to get into the car
What are you talking about “gang raped”? You are missing the point! That’s not why I never got in the car!
You know, I’m not gonna waste my time trying to make you understand. I’ve spoken my mind and that’s that.
Cupcake, I was pointing out the safety aspect.
have you always been this way around guys or did this come as a surprise to you?
@Bitter Smiles: You mean me? There was actually a time where I enjoyed being around men, I had nothing against them.
But over tha last year, I’ve been holding a grudge against them. Simply because they’ve made me think that they’ve liked me, but then turned out that they just wanted to go to bed with me, and after that just stay friends and eventually ignore me.
So now I’m ignoring them.