Why, why, do men find it necessary to be so brutal?
I do not want to hate men. I have fought bitterly against that for a long, long time. But sadly, after 20 years of misery, I am forced to concede that reality.
When I was 15 years old I met my first boyfriend, who sexually, physically, verbally and emotionally assaulted me for 18 months. The damage done to me psychologically was immense. Then, to add insult to injury, after years of suppressing my anger over these events (for fear of the consequences), one day I released it, only to be physically assaulted by my brother, with whom I had previously enjoyed and very loving, close relationship.
I have come to realise that there is not an atrocity that even the most seemingly ‘decent’ of men will not commit in their quest for power, superiority, and control over women. Oh, we’re safe, as long as we’re ‘behaving’ ourselves, but God forbid we should step out of line and demonstrate that we have real feelings, real emotions, real thoughts of our own. I have lived in fear of men for so long. I can no longer trust them, like them, respect them. I wish with all my heart I felt differently, but I cannot. I will never involve myself romantically with another man for as long as I live.
This post was submitted by maggiemay.