Geeks / Jocks and the women problem.
Okay This is written from a male-geek perspective, we all know that during our younger years geeks always had trouble with women (generally speaking) or lack of them. Our long nights alone building computers, tinkering with hardware, learning how to program in X or Y, firing up our video games, the list goes on.
When we were doing this, the women were flocking to the guys with IQ’s roughly half of what we considered normal. All during Junior high and high school we spent time with our geek friends trying to figure out how to build a better mouse trap. We didn’t see what was so cool about these people. Most of them were bullies, the majority of them had time memorizing their plays on the football team, much less math class.
But yet we were always on the losing end of the “girl contest”.
“The jocks” would move from one “hot popular babe” to another and the “popular babes” would move from one “Jock” to another. It was a tiny circle. If no jocks were open for dating, then the babe would move to the next criminal type they could find.
The geeks were never considered.
20 years later the problem was completely reversed. The geeks built companies, they bought homes with acres of land, cars, invented things that made the world much easier. They have a waiting list for women offering to date them.
20 years ago I couldn’t get a date, now I get to choose who I feel like hanging out with that night. The problem is however I as a person didn’t change. The women that choose me did.
Why did that happen? Why was I ignored growing up, and now have a waiting list of women? What clicked in the female head?
On paper I know I am a decent date. I own a company, I am relativity good looking, I am highly responsible. But all these things didn’t change over the past 20 years (other than the company I built).
So tell me why I was a terrible option then but now I am the best option?
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Without knowing you, it's difficult to say, but I can almost guarentee you aren't the same person now as before.But before getting into that…
Firstly, you have to remember that teenagers and very young adults are going through a transition stage. This isn't just an age thing, it's biology, our brains are still developing. So we swing between complete narcissism to the beginnings of self-awareness. Teenagers are not known for their strong self-awarness. They live primarily on instinct. And instinct tells us to go for the largest, strongest most confident males. Unfortunately we aren't so good at picking who they actually are when we are teenagers, so we go for the appearance of strength and confidence rather than the real deal.
Having said that, as a male, you would have been going through the same thing. I notice you aren't talking about ALL females, only the 'babes”. I wonder how many average, plain, chubby, pimply females you were paying attention to. All those females, wouldn't have had much luck in the “male” contest either. So actually, you weren't really all that different than the girls. You wanted the cream of the crop, and you couldn't get it. You wanted the hot babes, wether or not they were smart, deep thinkers or could actually be your best friend. You were shallow, and were interested in the looks, and the confidence of the pretty girls, just like girls were interested in the looks and confidence of the jocks.
Teenagers and young adults are almost alway's fairly insecure. They worry a great deal about what people think about them, especially females. It's part of the female nature to desire to be “liked” by people, or at least have the appearence people like them. So what their friends think about their “guy” is also really important, as shallow as that is. They grow out of it.
Also, most young females don't have the same interest in “geeky” stuff that boys do, NOR do they have the confidence in that area. I was the “athletic girl”, but I also secretly played with chemistry sets, electronic kits and loved building things. This was automatic dorkdom for me, so I stopped doing it. I was also nowhere near as good as the geeky males. I had many a secret crush on those brainy guys, but never would have admited it. Believe it or not, geeky guys can be intimidating, and they would have been floored to think the cute star track and field athlete of school, had a crush on them.
As to who you are now?
You may think you haven't changed, but of course you have. With success comes confidence. A lot of geeky guys, simply lack confidence. We live in a world, where the athlete is automatically a hero, so athletic males gain confidence in themselves very young. Until you have achieved success, you won't have given off that impression.
As women gain more self-awareness, and more confidence in themselves, they start to think more about the actual partner they are with so the heroic, confident , self-assured male isn't the shallow uninteresting jock, but the geek.
Some women however, never grow past this, just like some men refuse to date any female that is not young and beautiful.
IMO, kids that are geeky, or skinny, or awkward in highschool often end up as the best people when they are older. They had to work on their character and their lives because it was never handed to them on a platter. They become the most interesting, nicest , confident and best people to be around.
Exceptions to every rule of course, but that's my 2c's.
“So tell me why I was a terrible option then but now I am the best option?”
Because women still may not like you, but like your success?
You said you didn't change, but the women “changed” – acted differently towards you. You OWN a company? Do women not like successful men, while men don't care if women are successful or powerful or anything? Just not a pain in the ass and a patronizing or condescending or hateful cow, or bust your balls in public and more cooperative and easy on the talking and puts out regularly and easy on the attitude – NOT a lot we expect. Men dont have that high expecations for baby makers (as harsh as that sounds – i dont think we are really designed to expect much from women but their loyalty and respect and shit – both men and women typically expect more from men – women just expect shit from themsleves, or hey, an employer…a smart one expects a woman does her job right atleast.). (again, why Feminism makes no sense)
It's best to be the guy women put out with and be successful as well, yet that's often hard.
And you don't have to be a geek and always picking stuff out of your teeth to be successful.
And this whole “jock thing” is weird to me. We didn't even have that many jocks in my school. We had high school wresslers, and some girls field hockey and jr high baseball and student council. And boys soccer i think even in highschool. Just wimpy stuff, or lame wressling. I knew this one wressler who was dating a more popular babe who was hot—-> (but i didn't much like her – most men don't like the floozey and just the AIR about some of these women you see portrayed in teen movies – we find them annoying and irritating, but you really didn't have much of that in my school, just here and there. Most of the chicks in my school were losers and there weren't THAT many popular guys or girls – some more than others, but i swear, they were all just clicks, like little lion prides, and i often bounced between several of them and back to others and tried knowing everyone from the regular guys to the hicks to the stoners to the geeks to the student coucnil members, but i only hung with a select few after school regularly but bounced around a lot and “knew” too many people i can't recall half of them anymore.)—->and also knew this other sort of popular wressler who was also a junky and peddler and was nice to lots of people, but then basically…well, did rob lots of people in so many ways, and was hard to figure him out at the time and through ya off – lots thought he was your best friend one moment, and a…he was a hussler baby.
The stoners had the most luck with chicks in my school, then maybe just some regular dude
here and there that wasn't too much involved in much school shit. I shortly played in our jr high (same building as high) baseball team, and most of those guys didn't have much luck with chicks, and im sure some of them did some lame dating, but most i guess were like the “when you are ready baby” sensitive gay crap – you have to be a man at the end of the day to get laid, not a geek, and not some sensitive wimp (you MAY get laid, but it often takes forever with the more sensitive babes and it aint on your terms and are powerless …and less slutty babes, …you wait around too long while dating a slutty babe to put the moves on her she WILL go elsewhere, and often if you put the moves on her anyway, she still goes elsewhere.)
Or maybe they ACT more grown up around you now—> (though babes even in their 40's and into their deathbeds still often come across as catty childish game playing intentionally not return phone calls, etc, etc, etc – “cuz i read it in a book” or cuz ALL these guys are trying to get up on me, i'll get back to you when i can? Could be real, could be fake – could be busy, could be not. Could be lots of things. Still, women used to act more sane and more ADULT when men had a firmer grip on them like Amish men do their women. Now you have guys ACTING like they are busy now and have more important things to do, cuz they stole it from women who were INTENTIONALLY mimicking how men USED to be – real. They dont always have time or “care much” about women cuz they have pending matters.) who never grow up)—>or maybe you just associate with more grown up chicks now rather than in highschool? Fuck i don't know.
Its pretty simple, after they've spent years fucking the athletes and frat boys. They settle down with the dorks and nerds such as yourself. Why ? Because they realize they're soon going to be past their prime and their market value is fast decreasing, so they try to latch on to easy-to-manipulate, beta male like yourself who will finance their shopping sprees and trips to Europe.
Do you really think you're the man if you date some bimbo who's pussy has been used and abused by countless men, and now chooses you as the sucker she wants to settle down with ? I would be insulted if I were you and would call those hoes out on it. I don't think its anything to be proud of to be quite honest. The smartest thing is to keep those hoes on call and lead them on, DONT SPEND MONEY ON THEM, just pretend like you eventually will. Once you're done using them, dump them and move on to the next one.
Basically, what I was trying to say is that it's a purely business decision on their part. If you think it's because they've matured and now appreciate your sensitivity and wit, you're sadly mistaken.
First of all, I find it odd that you call the blog “I hate men” when your comments are more directed at women. I don't think you hate them, but it is an odd title.
Second, I agree with Annie that you probably have changed quite a bit and you don't see it. Also, I think the women have changed and they see more value in mature men than they do in the “dumb jocks” they saw when they were younger. And as Annie said, a lot of those girls were immature and made foolish choices back then so many of them probably have grown up and seen the value of more successful men such as yourself.
Survival isn't about who has the biggest muscles; it's about who can go the distance. A lot of women see that in their 30s even though they neglected to see it in their teens.
Ignore this post dude. She wasn't even listening to you. You said you haven't changed yet she said you probably did….so, it's i guess women still don't like you, they like your success. She is saying stuff like maybe you are more confident now than before, but you were confident all along in your own way. You own your own company. End of story. Peewee herman could have success with LOTS of women. And “confidence” aint everything. Have to be exciting and dominant, etc. Now of course none of us know what women you even associate with, cuz SOME women who act like that in highschool NEVER change, or “mature”, just like some old gangbagers never change and are who they are – but being that you are successful, you DONT really need to care about who you are or how you behave cuz you will STILL get women (of your choice) and they will act how you want. Best way is for men to not take women at all seriously until they get to where they want to go, and then they can have as MANY as they want, as well as they will respect you more and care more about your wishes and what you think and fall in line. Now that is a prime way you know you got the cat in the bag when you can secure a WOMAN or women to typically care more about what the man thinks than she does her pack rabbit mentality mob sisterhood whom all go down with the ship together. Lots of women just try to agree with eachother AGAINST men simply because they are women so they think one has to be more right or whatever, and women often like to be seen as “normal” and often demonstrate very little independent thought. Forget “self improvement” – forget just shagging hoes or desperate women – think bank. Then women will follow, and when they do, you can have them act how you prefer or cut them off. Now all the “hoes” can be your EXCLUSIVE hoes and keep other men away. You earned it partner. Why you would even want to spend a nickel on women that never gave you the time of day, outside of sex, i will never know. Get your playboy bunny ranch up and going and get yourself some trophey babes, but for the love of god dont even PRETEND too much to care about what an incompatible by design left brainer thinks about anything.
We really don't know how much bank he has or what. Or how good his company is or if it's nearing bankruptcy. But if he's in good standing, i would surround myself with 5 of the hottest and compliant babes (one white, mulatto, spanish, asian, indian) as possible who do the most nasty perverse shit as possible and enjoy groundbreaking “degrading” sex, or good sex if you aren't a femroid – primal sex, passionate MAYBE sometimes, yet primal – and have them in my click as repeat always to usually home sex servants, yet the deal is, he can go screw whatever other women he wants – vacationing in brazil or whatever, but NOBODY is allowed to tamper with his home base exclusive “living the good life” —->(maybe even pick some up at sexaholics annoymous so they aint into relationships anyway, and all into sex, so they don't feel i dunno, bad or “used”.)—->nookie. Each all before submitting their contract services are to undergo examinations to check out the tightness of each pussy, just the shape and LOOK of each pussy, each are to be tied up, so you can ooze up into that taint safely – (see if there is a way to undergo tubes being UNTIED should they eventually want out of your kingdom and the contract is voided – never looked into it) have to have a nice body, not a fatass or too skinny, but good proprtioned and just a nice body (can't explain it – need to show pictures of how meaty i like a woman) and nice rack on each.
Have to have a cute face, not necessarily just hollywood portayed “sexy” women, but have to have a cute face and i have to like the shape of their mouths and gonna be plugiing away at each often, cum guzzling to the fullest. Also, if you aren't a fan of eating bactria cesspools, and slirp up piss and puss and sweat and just aren't so hype about it freak trying to get in good with some “lick it before you stick it” hoe…i love eating pussy! – and not into this bitchy common mentality “it aint fair if i have to eat cock and you dont swim my sewers! It's give and take! (yeah, you give and i take) then so much the better. I envy the OP. With money comes power, with power comes options, with options come the persuit of happiness while rejecting whatever you dont want.
oh and if you have 5 HOME base, exclusive sex servants (get them anywhere – maybe cute poverty stricken babes – give them a better cut than there pimp does, say a ride on an Icon a-5.) , and i say this to give you a taste of the family life, and not just what the other poster said and always be quick to BOOT your babes – but better, and you can have them dressed in green and red, head to toe around the holidays and have your immediate family stop in maybe to meet YOUR family – and keep the xmas spirit alive, and dont let MONEY make you miserable like lots do, and CHOOSE women whom don't have rediculous fed expecations cuz you know how “women dont know what they want” so they target articles to tell them such, and if it aint in the article, you “now suck” – so just find some young chicks before they are too self warped and easier to please, cuz with bad knowledge can come misery and what wouldnt have made you UNhappy then can, and MAYBE they will fall in love with you eventually too like that Tom Green guy or whatever with all his wives – but dont try marrying these babes – and if you want to be “fair” to an extent, they can go down on eachother if they like it so much, just NO other men dammit, or contract is avoided and you MAY end up in a lake as well, cuz you are powerful and hate betrayal and are often better equipped to get away with crime and have goons and shit and nothing leads back to you. The best criminal is not a hard headed street thug flaunting his muscles – you have them do it for you.
They saw them as 'going somewhere' and didn't see you at all. It's called being juvenile. The sweetest revenge is a successful life guy! Don't let your garden fill with weeds of hate.
Anyway, this relates (sort of) to Avril Lavigne's “Sk8er Boi” and “you weren't good enough for her” (yet skater boys usually have more luck with chicks than nerds, that's for sure.)
You were a nerdy boy, she said “ya heardy boy?” – he wasn't good enough for her.
She shops at your company, and guess what_she_see?
She had a pretty face, but her head was up in space, she needed to come back down to Earth.
NEEDED to. Not needs to. Too late. Go find her or them and fucking let them know. They probably all have 4 kids each with different dads and single mothers who can't even afford to shop at your company and no other (normal) guy wants them, cuz biologically speaking, we prefer our own kids, and single mothers are fucked. Unless some NICE guy who aint in touch with his primal nature wanting to spread his own DNA takes her in.
I should clarify some things regarding my initial post. I do feel that I do look and basically act as I did when I was younger. Granted years have gone by, I am by all appearances of course older. Though my weight and height are roughly identical to when I was in High School (I was about 165 / 5'9 in HS, now I am 165 and 5'9 now). IE: That didn't change.
I used to spend hours a day working on computers… now I spend hours a day working with Google…. IE: that didn't change.
I live in a similar house than what I grew up in… like my parents built a newer home for me in a development when I was born… I built a new home for my son when he was born (not sure if you gathered or not, but I am a single father).
So my issue stands, overall my passion and level of responsibility have been the same (of course time does magnify responsibility and so fourth) but trends were there then, and they are there now.
So overall I have to disagree with Annie.
Now of course do I have less hair on my head? Do I spend more time being a single dad? the answer is yes… but overall… no I didn't change.
Most of the time I've read this kind of thing, especially from men I knew when I was younger, the biggest change in them, was confidence. They say, without fail that they are still the same person. They aren't…at least in the guys I've known for a very long time.
As they grew to be successful, their belief in themselves changed, and their self-esteem wasn't so effected by a small clique of highschool people. Their social circle became broader, they became easier to talk to, weren't so intimidated by the “cool crowd”. They weren't as “impressed” by the hot chicks, and they were more confident in standing up for themselves.
That's a pretty big difference, even if you still like computers, and still have the same height.
Did you ever go for the geeky girls in school?
“but overall… no I didn't change”
I was right! Right on your money. I know you man. I could be your personal advisor, your side man in your cashflow empire – whom will be honest, while you think everyone else just tells you what you want to hear (or worse, don't even listen to what you say, like Annie did) cuz you are money bags – if you break me off a piece of that money machine. Not looking for BIG royalties, but I'm sure we can work something out.
This is really simple. Now you're rich. Year's ago you were uncool and therefore undesirable, because women wanted to screw the hot jock and be with the in-crowd. Now you may still be uncool, but you have money, which makes you the in-crowd.
If this guy is smart, he'll go for younger women instead of the ones his own age who didn't want him when he was younger. He may have more confidence now that he is older, but a lot of these women chasing after him are probably after his money. If they are in their mid-late 30s, they realize that their time is running out to snag a decent successful man.
Seriously you need to stop viewing humans as objects to be achieved. “Then maybe you'll realize you are not one either, but a human that can be loved.
Most decent people do not spend their lives, trying to “achieve” another human, they just want a friend, companion and lover and hope to find some-one else who wants the same.
It's the media that messes you up in this regard. Ignore all of it. It's not true.
I have to say I agree with Annie mostly on this one. However, I don't believe people really change as they get older, they just get older. The essence of the person you are stays the same. What changes are peoples perception of you just as your perception of other people has surely changed over time. Perhaps women back then did not perceive you as an ideal choice but as they have aged, and probably from experience, they have come to see that guys like you have a lot to offer – intelligence, sense of responsibility, conversational, quick witted and even sexy in a way that attracts them to you. I also know that, from woman to woman, what each places as her priorities is drastically different. Maybe some that are chasing you now were the awkward, pimply faced girls in high school that you wouldn't give the time of day to back then because you were too mesmerized by the “hot babes”. And now they have turned into the hot babes, and are still interested in you, as they were then. Lots of things change over time President but most people (on the inside) do not.
I know people don't change Kat, it's what bugs me the most about this. So what did change?
I can't imagine any woman wanting to reproduce your DNA.
[So what did change?]
Your not listening TheFounder. People mature and want different things, whats hot when your young isnt quite as sensible when your older. Most jocks end up as plodders with the exception of a few that turn pro and rake in the $$. In that case they can still attract the young pretty wannabes, but the ones with imagination (the geeks) take longer to mature on the girl scene because computers are their first loves. They are 'late starters' you might say.
[20 years ago I couldn’t get a date, now I get to choose who I feel like hanging out with that night.]
The operative words being 'hang out', are they suitable wife material for a business owner? suitable mother material? or just pretty young wannabes. Sounds like you have finally achieved the 'jock status' you wanted all those years ago. Enjoy it while you can, and when you tire of it, start looking for Miss Right.
I like geeks…maybe because I was/am one. At my school you were either smart or ghetto. I just graduated high school. By the way, why are there so many guys here?
“Dawg” hit the nail on the head- sorry, but women like hot men- if this is disagreeable to you do either of two things
a) go to the gym and get a nice body
b) stop complaining and accept it (many girls are single such as you were before all the money because our more bimbo (hot) sisters took the equally attractive men and married them or are dating them.)
c) use your money to lure these girls you couldnt get before (but dont think for one second that it has to do with your charisma or personality or looks- they are after one thing–the all mighty dollar)
sorry, cruel harsh reality of life. but there it is.
i would like to see this from a female perspective-
whoops, i meant you have “three choices”
Men do want the most attractive woman they can get and attractiveness is a combination of attitude, personality, and looks. A lot of older women who now want the OP almost certainly have looks that have faded substantially over the years.
By the way, the older women who now want the OP are probably only after him because he has money or because those women have changed their dating standards because they realize they can no longer get the type of guy they truly desire. A lot of women spend their most attractive years dating players or bartender-types and then think that when they are are 35 and practically used up that some chump who was never a player is going to want to marry them. Men should be leery of those women because there is a good chance that those women are only changing their standards because they realize time is running out if they want to have children. Men want a woman who truly wants them, not a woman who is merely settling for him because she cannot get the guy she really wants.
Which is precisely why the OP should go for younger women who aren’t hearing their biological clocks tick loudly. He needs to avoid being taken advantage of like a chump.
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