Mr Mood Swing

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So things are going fine, I’m going around his house and he is acting fine. We are really getting along no fights,  no digs, I’m even starting to feel really comfortable,  then BANG!, something changed that I so wasn’t ready for!

All of a sudden he is moody with me and I’m like “Is something wrong? is it me?” then I get “Nothing is wrong, stop going on!”
The tension you could cut with a knife!

I’m getting angry now.  Why am I staying with this miserable animal that can’t act like a human being? I do stay and put up with it some more though.

I’m on my way over one day and get caught in traffic for an hour.  It ends up causing a fight on the way home.  Before I’ve even reached the door now I’m raging, thinking how has this fight happened when I’m the one that sat in the traffic?

We don’t speak for a week cause he is to stubborn to apologize, so I give in again and when I’m over there its back to normal as if we had never even fought or as if he had never started acting funny!

I cant keep up.  I don’t know whether I’m coming or going?

This post was submitted by ybtb.

  • http://www.twitter.com/Zealousbeauty ZB

    Get out while you can! A moody man is never good…..

  • noko

    i say, make sure he knows well and clear that this is not acceptable!

  • Helen

    This may be because many men seem to be out of touch with their emotions and/or unable to manage and communicate them. Maybe he has had a bad day at work, maybe he is feeling vulnerable, unwell, jealous, suspicious, frustrated, depressed. This might or might not be in relation to you and the relationship. Men seem to have been conditioned to express some feelings, such as anger more easily than others, or to see anger and moodiness as acceptable ways of expressing their feelings.
    I have seen this sort of behaviour in men and it is very unhelpful. Relationships are dependent on self-awareness and communication. Even if he just said “Sorry darling, I’ve had a bad day at work and need some time to myself” or “I’m feeling a bit low right now and need some time to think please darling” that would be better than the predictable “nothing’s wrong” followed by sulking, moodiness and even abuse.
    So men, learn some self-awareness and communication skills please!

  • http://www.yourboyfriendthebastard.com donna

    nicely said

  • http://twitter.com/Zealousbeauty ZB

    @noko….He is not a child…and telling him his behavior is not acceptable won’t fix any thing!

  • greeneyes

    i feel u girl im in the same situation.i think i hate this man and yet i stil stay i guess hoping he will change one day but we all know that will never happen . he even said he wants me to take a lie detecter test just that we can stay together for ever now what type of shit is that he is a man that lacks self awarness

  • http://www.yourboyfriendthebastard.com donna

    god are we dating the same man lol xx

  • roma

    i cant believe the first post i saw here was this. I dont understand why these men have these stupid weird mood swings with no explanation. Im not dating a man but we are in he pre-dating stage the get to know eachother flirty flirty bit, monday night we are sitting wachting tv together kind of holding hands ‘finger kissing’ everything is wonderful. Next day when i recieve some bad news and i need him there hes in a completely bad mood for no reason at all being extemeley rude and horrible and saying nothing is wrong yet you could touch the tension with a knife he even slams the door in my face and tells me to f off, later on i tell him he is not being fair but i jus ends up in an argument with me crying and upset and I STILL WANT HIM. im so stupid

  • http://www.yourboyfriendthebastard.com donna

    dont call yourself stupid you cant help who you like/love but you can learn and start to get more confident and in the end you will think fuck this i can do better!!

    men secretly hate women they can walk over so you just need to get that bit stronger and he will come running and if he dont he wasnt worth the tears anyway

  • http://www.twitter.com/Zealousbeauty ZB

    I completely agree @donna…

  • Anonymous

    >Women complaining about male mood swings

    I lol’d

  • Andrea

    Men have far more mood swings then we do. I think they call it bi-polar…LOL.

    Seriously, those types are controlling pricks. They start-up for no reason and blame you. I had one that started a fight over a comment I made about a commercial.

    Drama Kings, insecure and last but not least, not worth the energy.

  • Ki

    The one thing I will say to this is: always, always, always remember Stockholm Syndrome. If you’re asking yourself ‘why aren’t I getting out?’ ‘Why do I put up with this?’ ‘Why do I keep telling myself he’s worth it?’ then you’re already on a very slippery slope. Relationships are supposed to enrich your life and partners are supposed to support you (to at least some extent). If neither of these are true then maybe it’s time to ask yourself if you’re really in a relationship anymore.

  • dawnpriscilla

    I didn’t read all the responses, but my thought is: When a guy is inappropriate, cranky, moody, mean, insert-whatever-bad-behavior-here you should give a consequence to the behavior. The consequence is not yelling, complaining, whining, bitching, giving an ultimatum, holding out for an apology, or insert-whatever-bad-behavior-here. The consequence is just simply withholding your affections.

    It’s from a book I just read, written by A GUY! Can’t remember his name. But works in couple’s therapy. The message was also the same in that book “Think Like a Man, Act Like A Lady”, also written by a guy. And AGAIN, the message is the same in “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” (I’m not exactly sure I’m writing the titles right). That’s an old book! But the same message keeps playing out.

    Men are moody. Dark. Introverted more than women. Women are social. Outgoing. Validation seeking. I’m not saying these “types” are precise across the board for all men and all women, just generalizations. And generalizations about the problem areas we have in relationships.

    Advice (from my experience): The guy is cranky, just back off. Way off. Don’t take it personally, just give him the space. It’s a time when a woman most feels like she needs to know “Honey, what’s going on? Do you still care about me? What did I do wrong?”… but it’s NOTHING you did. He’s just moody. Having his little ~time~, just like we have our little once-a-month-times. By backing off you represent to him: 1) “Wow, she ain’t gonna’ put up with my crap” 2) “Wow, this woman has got it together. She can take care of herself.” 3) “Wow, she’s a really positive person”.

    You’ll be sending out a total “Wow” message all around. Back off. Guaranteed he’ll be calling. Tail a little between his legs. Don’t force an apology. Just drop it and go back to life as usual.

  • Snap

    You don’t hate men, you hate these insane, emotionally unstable trainwrecks you seem to ceaselessly encounter.

    You seem to know what the problem is, time to do something about it.

  • neema

    donna says:
    March 10, 2010 at 3:47 am
    god are we dating the same man lol xx

    That says more about the tendencies of the ones who pursue those men than the men themselves.

    In other words, it’s not that the world is full of men like that, it’s just YOUR world seems to be full of men like that, and that’s a choice.

  • Zac

    No offense but do you all hate every single guy? I think that’s a bit silly. Sure you get A LOT of retarded guys but you get a lot of good guys as well :/

  • http://myspace.com/yellowbirdstudios victim_of_economy
  • Artemis

    I was caught up in a horrible relationship with a moody man. He was above me in every way — out of my league, you’d call it. And he totally controlled me with his moods. If I raised a subject he found uncomfortable, he’s just walk out on me, and manipulate me so that *i* ended up being the one who apologised.

    I lived in fear every day that he would break up with me, so I soon learned never to question, never to criticise, never to ask for what I wanted. Three years I wasted living on my knees to this bastard. He died in the end, and that was lucky for me because I was so addicted to him that I would never have left him, never, so his death set me free.

  • Vee

    @Artemis

    Did you kill him?

  • Kyra

    It is a game of power… men usually try to see if they can have the upper hand, to be the ones that establish who’s the boss and who is the slave.
    That’s why woman should never lose themselves over a man. Should have standarts and demand them that they are met. If we agree to take shit from them, they will just keep giving it…

    I read this quote a few days ago and it hit me, like a bolt:

    “(…)false love makes you weak – at least weak to another person.
    false love does.Real Love doesn’t. False love is based on needs. The strongest provide the “drug”, the weakest uses it and is submissed to the strongest. The strong control the weak. In ths sense there is weakness, but this weakeness begin with your low self-esteem. That’s why important to Love yourself, because then, you won’t accept being abused by another person.” -TruthSeeker

    Whenever we woman agree to lower our standards, wishes and value, and accept to take abuse for the namesake of loving another man and receive love from another man, we are actually quiting the Love and respect we have for ourselves for whatever the other has to offer to us, even when it has nothing to do with Love and more to do with slavery, or abuse.
    It’s like quiting your own hapiness to receive the other’s unhapiness. It’s like dressing a Versace, and someone tells us to wear dirty ragged clothes and we just say “Of course, yes I will loose all my good clothes for the garbage you want me to wear hapilly, as long as you continue to give more garbage and abuse me and make think it is love, my lord”

    We say we want love, but then what is it that we are really getting?

  • Man

    To have a relationship before marriage is lewd. This is the problem with society.

  • Eirwen

    To the writer of the original post: get out of that relationship as soon as you can. He is being passive-aggressive and manipulative, and it WILL NEVER get any better. Ever. That relationship is going to implode, and please don’t let a man do that to you.

    You seem like a very nice person, and could do much better than this guy. Good luck.

  • Caz

    @Kyra

    I always enjoy reading your posts. You are so smart and clued up on men : )) You are the type of woman I aspire to be. x

  • shelly

    I say women need to fight back against these male oppressors. For years they have been beating us and getting away with it. Now if we fight back and leave little scratches on them, they cry say we are psycho bitches and we get locked up. I say we become like Laurana Bobbit, and if they try to hurt us…we cut it off. They make us play insipid stupid games just so they can hook up with us. They don’t even want to know our names, let alone have relationships with them. The time of,”men” is come to an end Woman now make up at least 51 percent of the workforce, yet they force us into submission to keep us down. Senotors cheat, they get there own shows…sportstars use us like we have no value. Nicole Simpson told the LAPD OJ threatened her. It’s time we did something about it. maybe we should force baseball bats into them then maybe they would understand rape Instead of their attutudes oh she dresses like that she’s asking for it. Well I say they are asking for it and it’s time we get them back!!!!!!!!!! contact me maybe we could start a club!

  • shelly

    name the club ihatemen.com

  • Kyra

    @Caz

    Wow… that’s cool Caz! I’m clued up now… had to find my way there after many road accidents, so if i can, anyone can! ;)

    The women I would have aspired to be, would have been born with that knowledge…lol and have a magic wand that made men grow up and behave!

    ***

  • Caz

    @ Kyra

    Unfortunately none of us can be born with knowledge about men and how their penis brains work. But it takes a smart person who can learn from their mistakes and become knowledgeable, and to share that knowledge with us lesser aware women makes you amazing in my eyes. Thanks so much Kyra. I love the idea of us women getting together and educating each other. When we make mistakes, it’s terrible at the time, but if we talk to each other about them and what we learnt from them, we can maybe help prevent other women going through the hell these men try to put us through. I think men are very manipulative and all the ones i met just lie through their teeth. They have no morals at all. But from now on, i am going to be so much smarter and be one step ahead of them, just like you are : ))

  • Kyra

    @Caz

    That’s nice Caz, though i’m sure i still have a few other things to learn, but about the badass men i do know quite a lot and i see how they think and feel so differently from women, so if i can contribute for some more innocent to open their eyes, then my sad stories had a positive outcome. Many times i wished someone had warned me, back then, opened my eyes…
    I found this site because I put on the browser i hate men… it’s sad to see so many women going through so much because the only thing they wanted was to give their best in terms of love to a man that confused them for an object. It pisses me off! Because many men do that a lot! I would love to see women not falling for it any more, never again, and actually managing to get from men what they want, without paying with themselves and educating them sternly on how to treat a lady! I do believe women can out-smart them.
    I think we should also thank to whoever created this site, and allowed the possibility of this exchanges among women.

  • Caz

    @ Kyra

    I know only too well how men treat women like sex objects rather than human beings with brains and personalities. Was it you who said men are like dogs. If they can’t eat it or have sex with it, they piss on it and walk off? That is so true from what I have seen about men so far. That guy at my work treated me in the most disrespectful way. I’ll never forget it. He put so much time and energy into ‘pursuing ‘ me because he wanted to go into a relationship with me based solely on my looks and figure. After he raped me, and realised how he’d completely misunderstood what type of person I am and what I want, he then cut off all ties, just like that, so cold and unreal. Pretended he still wanted to be friends with me, but never bothered to ask how i was for weeks. It took me a while to realise what he’d done, but when i realised it was such a relief to tell management that he’d completely sexually harassed me for weeks which led to the sexual assault. He didn’t give a shit that i wasn’t looking for anybody and only wanted to be friends with him until it happened. He just saw me, liked what he way, and believed he could manipulate me into going into a relationship with him through getting me drunk and convincing me he really cared about me all night. The mind manipulation was worse than the actual horrific rape. Al right, so it wasn’t brutal violent rape, but he manipulated me into in when i was really drunk and unaware, which in my eyes is still rape even if the police can’t prove it. I still can’t get over how he pretended to really care about me and took advantage of my nice caring trusting personality like that, but at the end of the day, he used me. He was so selfish and i hate him for it. He didn’t give a shit about what i wanted. Sorry for going on and on about it, but its all still unbelievable. I think most men are like that though, they see a pretty woman and then just think with their dicks. They don’t care how their unwanted sexual harassment might affect us. But i have to say i’m so much smarter and wiser after that horrific experience. I don’t tell any man anything about myself. Do you know another thing i think about men, they like us women to act stupid and flirty around them to feed their big egos. They feel intimidated by a quiet woman who has no interest in them at all. That’s how i am now, i just keep myself to myself and only talk to women. It’s sad isn’t it. I can’t even look at men in case they think i want to have sex with them. Honestly, i’m too scared to look at a man! I’m so sure that most of them think like that when you give them eye contact, they think they’re well in and you’re easy game or something ????

  • Kyra

    Yep Caz… they are all that…

    Right now I’m at a stage where i just want to be on my own. the rain falls unexpectadly and men come like that… It’s (become) so “normal” that their attitude goes almost unoticed. yes they do give me the eye contact, and sometimes bug me, but I’m getting into the point where i only need to make a look, and they get the idea. My ego likes the flatter though.

    Anyway…I’ve only been seriously “bugged” twice this one year which is good…one was a fake friend, the other was a messias who wanted me to be “nice” so I would open my legs to him.
    The fake friend I knew what he wanted, but i played the game… he never got what he wanted. the messias i send him to preach to some place else, I didn’t need his saving!And what a saving it would be…
    i don’t want to be intimidated by men, i want to intimidate them, spoil their game, twist their brains and kick them down bellow. That is if they come looking for trouble, cause i’m not looking for it!
    I do have a plan though… If a guy really wants me desperatly, he’ll have me!
    Oh yes he will.. a Psycho, obcessed, desperate to get married, calling every five minutes, with lots of mini Billie Jeans he abandoned screaming in the street, attacking every 50 year old+ lady pretending to be his 25 year old girl lover with the wrath of spouse jelousy, screaming at his boss and collegues that it his fault I’m frigid and he can’t get it up, with temper tantrums every 5 seconds … starting day one. I still want to see if what men will last 24hours.

    Right now they are becoming less than mosquitos, so i don’t even take much notice of their behaviour. I have “NO” written in my forehead and “keep out” written in my look! If they don’t get it, I say ok, “lets play… i’ll pretend I’m dumb and you’re smart until you get finnally get the idea! unless you want to make a stupid of yourself!” I like playing with them…

    i do like my male frieds though, and if i see that a man is approaching me with honesty in terms of friendship, i’m cool with that… My favorite sex is mental exchange anyway and I don’t have to bother with commitment or adultery. The other “normal” way of approaching me has become a big turn off! If I guy really gets me…he’ll try to seduce my brains first, not my boobs or freaky gazes!

    But i’m feeling is coming a time where it’s not even worth bothering any more with what they did, or still do. I don’t feel they can play with me, or that I’ll go through my past mistakes, the same way. It’s coming to a time where its not hurting anymore.. And they seem so silly and pathetic, like little boys that will never get it… that aren’t even worth wasting my time.

    it’s a bit frustatring cause we feel like old ladies at the side of 95% of men we encounter whatever age or much older they are…they all look like little kids.

    But don’t worry about talking how many times you feel necessary of that harressment thing that guy did to you, talking helps to exorcize demons!
    One of my favorite Sex&City episodes was when Samantha revenged on her cheating boyfriend by giving leaflets of his picture with insulting names on it at the street! Women need to get even some way! They need their dark side to take over, and find their inner power when their bright side has been exploited in some way!
    And going for what you’ve been through… you will need some amount of time to feel normal again… he stole something from you, a part of you in the worst possible way. He spoiled even more any amount of respect you could ever feel for the sex he represents… That’s a big crime. He raped you inside and outside. Most men usually only rape inside…almost every women has been raped psychologicaly or emotionaly at least once in her lifetime.

    And they still wonder why we hate them…

  • CAZ

    @ Kyra

    You are so awesome. You like to twist their brains, spoil their games and ruin their plans! I like that! But couldn’t that get dangerous? Some men don’t like being teased and strung along. Some get very violent actually, and I know from experience that many men out there have no morals at all, and don’t think twice about raping a woman. I know you like to keep one step ahead of them, which I think is so amazing, but do you feel you have to watch your back? From now on, I will always be one step ahead and on top of their game. They will try to use me, but what they don’t know, if that I am the user. Always. I take whatever i can get from them without giving them sex. I pick their brains and learn whatever i can from them, but if they’re stupid and work on sex impulses only, then I don’t want to know. I’m only interested in intelligient people.

  • Nettie

    Sounds like he’s bipolar. I’m in the same situation with my husband and he’s bipolar.

  • BMW_BenzRedheadBlondeNYC

    LOL
    hola 2 mi chicaz aww sorry to read this but i am here if u r wantin to talk. i can be reach as by email at end of post i just want to give your heart a hug and say KEEP YA HEAD UP chicaz. we been there i can relate as mi amigaz can.some more then other.
    FRIEND OFFLINE available anytime i feel for your heart being hurt as i do not hate MEN not really i just say the fact some are just either too controllin’then become abusive?then wonder why are they at the end of the day when all is said n done.we gone they are still as BUM messed up as they were with us we are bless
    when we are able to GET OUT fast like first few weeks months.
    sadly most do not. i have survive abuse bad 2 relation or three.
    i been there and NONE are doin better WITHOUT me then when they were WITH ME see i call it as mi amigos KARMA and i like that
    alot.

    so if u r lookin to talk i am here. cheer up all will be ok.
    REAL CHAT BY FONE REGULAR GIRL 2 GIRL CHAT I AM HERE I FEEL AWFUL FOR CAZ A FEW OF U. I BEEN THERE NOT QUITE LIKE U CAZ CHICA BUT OTHER WOMEN HERE I AM BI- CURIOUS I DID THINGS PRIOR WIT TEEN GIRL(s)a long time ago lol never realize i was then BI lol in mi mid thirties now still look feel younger
    but the older i get the more i realize women should not “settle”4 a DEADBEAT LOSER MAMA BOY EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE MAMA BOY ARE WORSE! I had few them one imparticular,i even though we will marry the guy
    turn out to be a complete loser type after all my friend call him but i will always lov him though no hard feelings but i was so madely in love turn out even though he has me in multiple places on his body BIG tattoo of my ENTIRE FULL long beautiful name as angel wings too! 2 other tatts of ME after years together perfect planning our world as ONE he ruin it.sad but i understand he say not because he listen to his mother who i think do not like latina women like me but i think that is it,he just even though he try kinda hard was not able to get over his UNSTABLE mother
    way attachment to her at almost 30 now i see how his life is i know he has nada bien..nothin GOOD and nothin BETTER then what we had and would have had together so i am ok. if u r wantin to talk reach me ok chicaz god bless u all better to be alone and happy set focus then with a LOSER MAMA BOY TRAINWRECK ABOUT TO GO OFF TRACK,if your wise as i am your not goin to let is crash with you on board GET OUT WHILE YOUR ABLE LIFE TOO SHORT TO BE HURTIN.
    ADIOS.my real email offline is:
    BMW_BenzRedheadBlonde@nycmail.com

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