I cried over. . . . that!?!?

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So there was this guy. Iliterally didn’t know he existed for four years. Then one day i noticed them and whew he wasn’t much of a looker. Wasn’t all that amazing. But he didn’t flirt back, so he was a challenge. I tried and tried and finally one day he did. Another year of harmless verbal/text flirting went on nothing more then petty stuff. On day We were sittin on the couch, hangin out with some friends and we were flirtin prettyhard and he put his hand on my thigh and i thought omg! It just escalated. Hand on my thigh, my back, attempts at my chest (three times he suceeded….. im still not sure how), you get the picture. one day we were on a car trip with some mutual friends and i slept on him, he held me as i slept. and the same thing on the way back. but he flirts with other girls in front of me. i think i love him, but every time im around him he’s either a jerk, or all flirty. lately hes been chasing girls infront of me. i feel like my hearts being physically ripped out of my chest. all he wanted was me, and i was an easy ( i didnt do anything serious…..we never even kissed :( )and i hate him for making me feel like a terrible friend couz my bffs in love with him and he’s just a jerk like all men. all they want is sex. guys dont want women they want their bodies. guys suck ass.

This post was submitted by curlsuxbutt.

  • cynthia

    Dear Curlsuxbutt,
    Love is not letting yourself get walked all over by someone who doesn’t value you. Love respects one another. If he doesn’t respect you, then you should love a person like that.

    I suggest you cut off all communication with him and just keep yourself busy. It will hurt intially but as a wound, it will heal.

    Remember, no matter how much you like a guy- never let him take away your dignity.

    Love,
    Your well wisher

  • kelli

    Girl I know how that goes. Guys only want girls whose pants they can get in. Don’t let it crush you–just think how much better you are and that he doesn’t deserve you.

  • Iselas

    Maybe because you never made a move he assumed you are his friend? After so long with nothing happening he feels you are a friend and doesn’t even realize you love him. It happened to me, a friend I had for years suddenly wouldn’t talk to me and when I asked why she said that I should know why. She later said that she had loved me for years and that I was a pig for not noticing and flirting with other girls in front of her to be honest I never had a clue and I lost a valued friend and someone I truly cared about.

  • Mike

    It amazes me how many people don’t understand this basic dynamic. You see, the reason you were so attracted to him was because you couldn’t have him. The fact that he was seeing other women just made you want him even more. If by some miracle you managed to get him to commit himself to you only…you would no longer have felt that same desire for him.

    There are plenty of guys out there that don’t play games and would love you for who you are. The irony though is this: you aren’t attracted to these guys (at least initially) for the very reason that they aren’t willing to play games with you.

    It’s very important that you understand this basic principle. Guys pay attention to what you do, not what you say. The fact is (despite what millions of girls think) that girls regularly fall for guys that play these games. They are attracted to jerks that sleep around with numerous women and treat them like crap. You say that you don’t like it. Fact is you regularly fall for it and will continue to. And it’s not necessarily your fault because women are hardwired to act this very way.

    The solution is simple. Unless you want to lead a life filled with unhappiness, you need stop chasing these types of guys. Regardless of what attraction you may feel towards them. You need to get smart. Problem is that girls too often confuse these emotions for love because they don’t understand the big picture.

    With time you will find this out for yourself. Unfortunately, way too many women will never ever get it. Or by the time they do its too late and they’ve wasted their entire life with a jerk that doesn’t love them. Basically, your Grandmother was right. Find a nice boy. And for the love of God show some restraint… don’t give up the goods to every man-whore that makes your vag tingle.

  • leila

    He isn’t worthy of oyu then! I’m sorry.

  • Jake

    Well you fell for him. There is a saying “nice guys finish last” and it’s so damn true. There are guys who are nice and remember about you, and call you when you’re sad, and make you happy, and think about you, but guess what? Girls simply don’t find them fun (or as you put it, those guys wouldn’t be “a challenge”).

    I was my ex’s first boyfriend to remember when her birthday is, not to mention I talked to her plenty, we hung out it was all romantic. But it wasn’t “a challenge”, she would never be able to love a guy like me. Hence why she is now my ex.

    Sometimes I ask myself if life would be easier if I were an asshole who gets girls like that. Girls like you would constantly complain about me to their friends, but I simply wouldn’t care, because I would be sleeping with girls 24/7.

    Life is not black and white. Not all men are assholes. The problem is, those men don’t turn you on. However cynical it sounds.

  • Jason

    No, freaks finish last. This whole “nice guys finish last” is nothing but pure rhetoric.

  • http://myspace.com/yellowbirdstudios victim_of_economy
  • Dothebedn

    Not all guys want sex. Take me for example. I can do without sex, I never really cared for it. It is music that I like. I like women, but just for conversation. I can also block any sexual desires and thoughts from my mind if they ever come up. I want to be the one in control, not any primal urges be the ones in control.

    Most men think of women every 20 seconds, I think of music every 20 second and I think of women not much.

    If a woman starts to flirt with me, I try to change the subject.
    And no I am not gay.

  • marie-gold

    men are assholes

  • Man

    I am like Dothebedn: I do not think about sex at all. The process is a mere scientific one and when my time comes, I shall do it after marriage. I don’t think about music though–I’m a philosophy/math/science/history sort of guy.

    Men who think of women as sex objects are immoral, and women who use men for their own pleasure are also immoral.

    Yet another fault of society.

  • Seriously?

    Are you kidding me. How old are you 12? Seriously, it sounds to me all you did was build up those raging hormones. You pushed flirting with him because you weren’t immediately “desired” there is no way in Hell you can like someone you seem to know nothing about. Not that I’m saying he’s much better, but come on. How does your basis of ranking serious steps in a “relationship” work anyways. Kissing someone = seriousness, where as touching your chest = nothing?

    Sounds like all you want is some drama in your life.

  • Gina

    @Dothebedn and @Man:

    Are you sure you aren’t asexual? It is a legitimate sexual condition…

  • Man

    I never really thought about sex before. Sure I had “wet dreams” because that is how nature intended for men to develop through puberty, but I don’t care for it. Moreover, I don’t like men and I do not masturbate. It is almost like sex isn’t a factor of my life. Apparently the “Selfish Gene” isn’t part of my DNA (Ha Ha Ha…)

    I’m about 23 and in Med School and Math Grad School (The Graduate School is really awesome in letting me pursue my two favorite topics at the same time). I’ll think of marriage (probably through an arranged–dating is just to difficult) when I’m a Resident or something.