You really need to educate yourself more before you make such judgemental small minded comments, especially on a website where so many other women will be reading them. I feel so terribly sorry for all the women reading your post Annie and I hope to god it won’t prevent other women from speaking out against injustices that they suffered from abusive men.

There are different kinds of rape. Read the legal and dictionary definition of rape and learn about the different types of rape.

Dictionary Definitions of Rape –

Rape: Sexual intercourse with a woman by a man without her consent and chiefly by force or deception.

Statutory rape: Sexual intercourse with a female who is below the statutory age of consent.

Consent: Compliance in or approval of what is done or proposed by another.

I was tricked, coerced and manipulated into doing it. As you’ll see it can be about force or deception. Rape is not just about violent brutal force against somebody’s will. Rape is not that clear cut in black and white. And you know what, it took an amazing amount of strength and courage for me to speak out and put in a complaint against that rapist, and i would do it all again. I did not want that man to like me. All i wanted was for him to leave me alone and back off. I never liked him, and i never needed or wanted him to like me. I don’t need anybody to like me. Now, i have something called self-respect and self-esteem, which is something you will never have. No wonder you feel so worthless. How do you live with yourself when you are so nasty and insensitive!!! It was rape and i really don’t care what you think or what you have to say because you really don’t know anything!!! This is supposed to be a website where us women can come together and emotionally support each other, not attack each other. And how dare you tell me i haven’t experienced the same pain as a woman raped by brutal force? You have no idea what hell i’ve gone through since it happened. It is you who needs to grow up and educate yourself more. And i have decided that i am not coming on this website anymore because i refuse to waste any more of my time and energy dwelling in hate. I’m so much better than that and i am going to rise about it. But just so you know Annie, i will never accept what happened to me and blame myself for it. He was the one who sexually harassed me. He was the one who raped me. Over my dead body will i ever forget it and say it wasn’t rape.

I know you are hurting. But you were not raped. And no, you do not get to decide what does or does not constitute rape after you consent to sex. You agreed at the time to sex, therefore you were not raped. That is the law. Rape means no consent to a sexual act.

Women like you who refuse to take responsibility for their choices, pisses me off. I’m a feminist. I’m strong. I dont’ blame men for the choices I make, I blame ME!!

I think you are being very immature, you are crying, throwing a temper tantrum because quite frankly, you are refusing to take responsibility for your choice. Oops, you fucked up and CHOSE to have sex with a man you didn’t know and he lied to you. Now you are hurt, and you call rape. How dare you!! How dare you disrespect women who have no choice, when you had one…and pretend you live the same hurt as them.

If you want to blame men for YOUR decisions, then you have to allow men to control you, so they can make sure you make the right decisions.

If you want to live in a world where YOU choose(equality), then you have to take responsiblility.

You were not raped. You consented to sex.

You were not raped.

And I’m deeply sorry to all the women of the world that have actually been raped, because some young silly girl who consents to sex, regrets it, and then cries rape because she wanted the man to like her.

When you say YES to sex Caz, that is NOT RAPE!!

Grow-up . Seriously.

Remember that sexual harasser at my work i told you about? Well the management did their investigation and found they don’t have enough evidence to prove that he sexually harassed me. He told them that he did fancy me but i kept giving him signals that i fancied him too. What a fucking liar! I never gave him any signals because i didn’t fancy him at all. I can’t believe that. So he has just completely got away with it and is free to do it again. While i have to live with the fact that i was tricked, manipulated and raped by him, and will never be able to have any sort of relationship with a man again. I can’t even look or smile at men any more as i’m scared they’re going to think i fancy them. Every time i see him i just want to punch his ugly face so bad. I just wish i could have got better evidence about him.

@ Rebecca
I’m so sorry you feel so worthless. I do know how you feel as i felt that same way 5 years ago when my relationship broke down and he made me feel like a low life piece of shit who should just kill myself. Since then i have been single and working very hard on raising my own self-esteem and confidence. Mainly through working hard in a good job in an old peoples home. Doing charity work for children. Making as many good friends as i can. Educating myself. Looking in the mirror every day and telling myself that i look great. I’ve learnt, that it is your job to raise your own self-esteem and to love yourself. How can you believe any man loves you until you can first love yourself? Every time you do something good, you will feel good, and self-praise leads to self-esteem. Once you have self-esteem, and have self-respect, you will never allow a man to treat you so disrespectfully again. I think the main thing to do is let go of your fear of being single, and embrace it. You are free. You aren’t tied down. You are your own person free to do whatever. Enjoy your own company and watch many flock to be with you as they’ll also enjoy being around you. People are attracted to positive people who love themselves and life. xxxx

I am not engaged for sex, but I am engaged for the reason of family–to have children to give our knowledge and religion to. That’s one thing I really like about this culture–sex=family not sex=desire or sex=passion. It makes sense to me. I still am weary about sex though because I’m not interested in it at all.

I’m sorry you feel so bad. Has something recently happened to make you feel that way? How long have you been single? Are you actively looking for someone?

I won’t ever be with a man again. But if there was ever the remote chance that I came across some sweet prince charming type guy who acted like ‘the one’ then I would really do my research on him. I would go on the internet to find stuff out about him. Talk to his friends and family. Maybe even do a thorough background check on him. I’m really not trusting but after what i have experienced in life it really is best not to be, for survival purposes you have to be observant and aware at all times. Only after I found all the necessary information about him, and built a good solid friendship with him over time would I then have sexual intercourse with him. But that would never happen, as the thought of being intimate with a man makes me want to vomit as it turns my stomach so bad. Men are master manipulators, but we women can be so much smarter than them, and catch them out before they get chance to do their damage.

Well, to be honest, you know, I hate the ones that hide it more. If a guy just acts like the asshole he is, I can relate to that. You know what is worse? The ones that try to hide it. The ones that pretend that they want you for your personality, the ones that pretend they’re looking for real love and something serious. These ones are much, much more dangerous than those sloppy eggheads who try to hit on you on the streets or in a store. At least you know what you’re up to with them: players, bye-bye. But the ones that pretend to be ‘different’, the ones that pretend to be the good guys….they are the ones who really kill you eventually. The ones that pretend they want to know you. And then screw you, screw you, screw you – until they’re done with you.

I don’t have such a good day today, I guess. I really feel like shit.