Last On His List of Importance

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I am so sick of coming in dead last on my boyfriend’s list of important people…truthfully, I wonder if I even make the list most days.

Today is a good example. I spent this morning crawling around under my house in weather that was 4 BELOW zero replacing the electric heater tape to keep my pipes from freezing. My boyfriend had been promising me that he would do this for me every weekend for the last 4 months.

With the exception of me, anyone who asks him for anything gets immediate attention….particularly his grown daughter.

For his daughter…the world stops each time she whines for something.

He’s building a brand new house for her…all expenses paid. So far, all she’s done is whine that she can’t move in yet.

Did I mention that she doesn’t have a job??

Do you think he has time to even change a light bulb for me…oh no…but do you think his daughter even knows where the light bulb aisle is in the store?

He keeps introducing me as his wife and calls me his spouse. He can’t be talking about me because not only have I not seen a ring, but no mention of marriage has EVER been made in the last 4 years we’ve been dating.

I don’t understand why he gets all offended that we aren’t married when he introduces me as his “spouse” or “better half”.

Geez, I HATE men!

This post was submitted by sickofbs.

  • Rain

    well you never know he might have forgotten the pipes AND proposing to you!

  • Marge Temple

    You must learn to love yourself enough not to let this man or anyone treat you this way. He is taking you for granted and you should of left him 3 years ago. Stop trying to make him what you want and stop being so desperate to be with him. Wake up, smell the coffee, reclaim your self respect and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE! You have let this relationship go on toooooooo long.

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  • Sarah

    This is how my ex-boyfriend treated me for 9 years.

    He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t love you. I think he’s looking for something better! Whatever better is to him. He’s manipulating you. Please don’t give this man anymore of your time and energy. It’s time to move on.

    Basically, if a man doesn’t marry you in 1 year or at least talk about getting married in the first year he will never marry you. You have to move on and get out of this relationship. Leave Him now.

    Please check out the definition of Psychopath and Narscisst. See if he has any of these behavioural patterns.

    Take Care, Wish you the best.

  • Leann

    Your situation sounds very much like mine. I too am always last on my boyfriends list. When someone asks him to do something he responds immediately to them and I wait for weeks sometimes even months to get a response. He also has a grown daughter who doesn’t work but he spoils her rotten. I’m seriously considering leaving him, he doesn’t me and you bf sounds like he doesn’t appreciate you either. Why do we put up with these men?

  • Hazzmatty

    “Geez, I HATE men!”

    I hate men like your boyfriend simply because of how half assed he raised his spoiled daughter and princesses gets on men’s nerves, and they also dont have much of an available dating pool due to the fact there are WAY more princesses than princes in America. Royalty should stay with royalty. Princesses dont like regular men, and regular men can’t stand them. Only a prince would know where a princess is coming from in order to relate, and they both can snap their fingers together…and nobody the fuck runs to their aid anyway, cuz fuck em. Fuck i can’t stand men like that.

  • Anonymous

    Hrrmm… is he treating his daughter this way out of guilt, or trying to make up for some perceived wrong done by her in the past? That’s my first thought. Or perhaps she’s all he ever had in his life and he’s very attached to her. I have known a few parents who have made their whole lives about their child or children (even when they’re grown adults). It’s not good for them… he thinks he’s doing her a favour but he’s just preventing her from learning life lessons that she needs to learn… like hard work, independence etc etc. I can understand it must be very frustrating for you.

    You have two options… settle for what you have now, or demand more. If you want marriage, tell him you’re not happy with the live in girlfriend arrangement. Tell him how you feel about the way he acts around his daughter. Tell him you feel neglected. His daughter has obviously learned how to prey on his weakness and get him to do everything for her… maybe you should take a leaf out of her book! But seriously, clearly communicate with him what you need and tell him that your needs are not being met. If he continues to ignore you and not meet your needs then you may have to give him some consequences (such as moving out) if you really cannot tolerate the relationship as it is now.

  • Jasonowens71

    Jesus! Do you have the word doormat tattoo’ed on your forehead?
    You really need to either kick him out or drag him by the balls to all the jobs that you need doing!

  • Starlatheimmortal1

    I really feel for you :(
    My husband does the same thing. Except, he puts EVERYone’s requests off… even the kids…But mine are completely ignored.
    He too, though, also gives our oldest son whatever he wants, and nearly ignores our 3 year old, except when him and I are fighting. Then he acts all “fatherly” all of a sudden. If Ash whines for something, he gets it. Mike constantly makes excuses for him, and treats him like he’s above the “family” law.

    Me, on the other hand- I have had to take up all the responsibility of all the house repairs, car care, etc. When he sees me doing something (like taking out the trash) he says, “Oh, I was gonna do that.” But I KNOW he’s just saying that to make himself look like less of a jerk! If he’s asked to do the litter box (even if he says he’ll do it), they can go WEEKS without being done! I had to go ahead and clean them when I was pregnant because they would be soooo bad, and he would just be sitting around watching TV.

    I’d say it might be time for you to move on before you end up like me… in a legally binding contract with a dead-weight husband who is dragging you under daily until you become so miserable , you basically loose your mind, and all the dreams and hopes you had for your life are squashed under your broken and bleeding heart.