by OTShoeGal
Fell in love with a boy….
3:36 pm in I Hate Men by OTShoeGal
oooo so typical right. Falling in love is supposed to be this wonderful whirlwind that takes over your mind body and soul. And for years I have been through countless relationships in search of this whirlwind. In January, I met my match. Funny. Cute. Sarcastic. Understood my crazy ways. And it felt like a match made in heaven. But unfortunately being a woman in love – it blocks your view of reality.
This said man pushed me into a relationship, even when I suggested we slow it down. He insisted that he loved me and I should open my heart to him. Like a fool I did. And after 5 months, he gutted me. Telling me the day before our anniversary that he needs some time apart. Now the b.s. gets better. We spend two weeks apart then revisit each other and spend the most incredible time with each together. I’m thinking things are great and back to normal. Think again. He tells me four days later that he doesn’t want to be with me and I need to just get out of his life. He also accused me of trying to work things out with him so that I can be the victim. I’m going through a ridiculous assortment of emotions. On one hand, I want him back because I miss him like crazy. On the other hand I want him to suffer like I currently am. My days melt into nights that melt into days and I feel as though I am a zombie. I feel dead on the inside but I know I’m still moving. The crappy part is that I have caught him in lies, I know he’s no good for me. I know he’s a bad guy, but I can’t let go. The love swirls through my mind and these memories start replaying themselves over and over in my head.
Why is it so damn hard to let go?
It is unfair that he is playing with your emotions like this…a clear indication of his disrespectful behavior and immaturity.
Something more is going on with him, whether he is afraid of the emotions he has for you or something else.
All I can advise you on is this: Hang in there! Cry if you want to, beat the crap out of a pillow etc. to release your emotions. Next, dispose of any gifts, cards, letters, text messages, pics etc. from the relationship. You need to extricate these memories so it will help you try to move on. Make sure you take his number out of your cell and do not call, text, page or contact him.
Your intuition has already told you that is he not a healthy choice. Listen to it. Right now, you’re enveloped in the emotional feelings you have for him. These are the most difficult ones to deal with, process and forget. When someone loves you, he/she is not supposed to hurt you, lie, lead you on, disrespect or play with your emotions. He will want to be with you, build you up, learn everything that there is to know about you, help you achieve your dreams be your best friend…..
Take it day by day, that is the bets thing you can do. Some will be easier than others but in the end remember…you will heal.
Good luck.
I am going through the exact same thing as you right now. Just when I thought me and my boyfriend were finally good, he says he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. Have you ever hurt him in the past by leaving him? Maybe he was scared you would leave him again and experience that pain again so he just left you instead. Not a smart choice, I know… but a lot of men seem to not make very smart choices. I want you to remember that this is just a break up and it happens all the time, it’s not the end of the world. You are strong and beautiful. I can already tell that there’s someone much better out there for you. Stay confident and please don’t let him back in your life. If he has hurt you this much already, please don’t even risk it from happening again. I agree with the meandtheultimatedrivingmachine that you should get rid of everything that reminds you of him. It is the first step of letting go. Also, have a girls night out and go to a bar or somewhere with a lot of guys around. Just have fun and do anything that takes your mind off of him. Remember, sometimes good things fall apart only so that better things can fall together.