Why did he stop talking to me?


I have been religiously talking to this guy everyday for months. He would call me and we would talk for hours. Sometimes until one of our phones died. I was becoming very close to him. So close that I told him very personal things I have never told anyone. He too opened up and told me things about himself. We both admitted that we liked each other a lot. Things seemed to be going great.

Now he hasn’t called me for weeks. I can text him every once in a while and he’ll respond. But I’m the one that has to contact him. He doesn’t contact me now. I’ve gotten to the point where I have just given up.

Why do men do this? I feel so betrayed and like I should never trust another man again.

This post was submitted by nobodysangel.

9 Responses to “Why did he stop talking to me?”

  1. Me and the Ultimate driving machine says:

    I know exactly how you feel….a guy did the same thing to me. The only difference is that he “promised” to take me out and it never materialized.

    There are a few things I have learned from my “experience”….
    1) The “boy” I encountered had some type of intimacy issues and only wanted a telephone relationship.
    2) When a guy like this speaks to you, he is getting his fill of whatever he may need at that moment and moves on. He may not be doing it deliberately but talking to you satisfied him, and it might be weeks before he “needs” that contact with you again.
    3) Like you, he might have started to feel some type of emotional attachment to you and it scared him. Again, it has nothing to do with you but with him and intimacy issues.
    4) Depending on his age and maturity level, it may have all been a mind game and when he lost interest he moved on (I am sorry if this is too harsh.).
    5) Sometimes, guys worry that they’ll run out of things to say so they start to space out contact i.e. phone, email, etc. That is why there may be periods of no contact.
    6) It is possible that he is hiding something (a girlfriend, wife etc.) and backed off for awhile. Again, the contact with you was filling some type of void or pleasure needed.
    7) It is now time to move on. Any guy who doesn’t have consideration for your feelings, is clearly disrespectful and is cowardly enough not to dignify you with a reason for ceasing all contact is NOT worth it.
    You will make yourself more miserable by analyzing the scenarios over and over to see “where it went wrong.” You did all you could do and he decided to flake out. Tell yourself that you deserve better than him and as hard as it might be MOVE ON. If he calls or texts you, IGNORE HIM and do not return his calls. When you are in a better place, you will have a clearer mind and you will see that this jerk is not worthy of you.
    You deserve a man who is into you, respects you, and will make you feel desired and displays openly he wants to get to know you.
    I wish you well.

  2. nobodysangel says:

    Hey, thanks so much for your comment! I knew this guy in person. We had been friends for a few years before we came close like this. Now it doesn’t even seem like we’re friends. I’ve decided to not really dwell on it. I don’t think he’s really worth it. I will do better than him. But I will laugh someday when I see his number on my caller i.d. before I push ignore! 😛

  3. a man says:

    That is unacceptable behaviour towards a member of the human race.

    Whether they are men or women, ‘friends’ or partners/partners-in-the-making, to do this to anyone after such obviously mentally/verbally intimate times is a wrongness of epic magnitude.

    I agree with Me and the ultimate driving machine on every point and I sometimes have felt some of those issues myself…….but to not clarify things is unfair…so I always try, no matter how nitty-gritty things become. Perhaps, even link him to to your post on here………… o.O so he understands you better.

    It is possible that he could really hate himself or hate life in general AND is trying to be something that he is not capable to be. ie. LifeFAIL! This will cause him no end of problems because of his relationship failings and people may hate him for it.

    He knew Nobodyangels for years and even then he was incapable to be nice and clarify his problems, possibly for fear of feeling weak/losing respect..
    Either way, they are his problems.. He may be a great man in some ways, but emotionally unstable.

    Maybe you should contact him just once and ask him what the hell his problem is in a direct, brutal way?

    The fact that he could not even try to clarify where you both stood in terms of a relationship shows his weaknesses or that he just does not care.

    No one should ever let anyone do this to them. Make a point of it, a big point. Hell, even write a contract and ask them to sign it. If they breach, then you get to kick their ass. ( I am only partially joking about the contract..)

    Good luck. There are decent men around but maybe they are already taken?

    The fact that you don’t mention any physical intimacy after a few months is something you should perhaps think about as well. Did he expect sex earlier on and just gave up?

    Anyway, perhaps Me and the ultimate driving machine is right. move on…. or give him a verbal bashing.

    Maybe even turn up on his doorstep and really see him turn to jelly with harsh questions that he can’t turn around or deflect or just ignore.

  4. nobodysangel says:

    Sooo I asked him why he quit contacting me (through a text message). He said that he “honestly didn’t know why”. I told him that it was confusing that he talked to me everyday and then BOOM, just quit. I talked to him for a little bit (all in text messages) and told him that I had to get to bed (not really). As far as I’m concerned, I’m not contacting him again. He needs to get over his issues ’cause I know that I’ve done no wrong to him. Meaning I don’t deserve to be treated like that!

    I was just this man’s crying shoulder until “something better came along”. He’ll probably try to call me again someday when no one else is there for him. I know that I have nothing to offer him (not even friendship).

    Lesson learned. I’m not letting myself be put in this position again!

  5. Mary Farkle says:

    I suggest reading He’s Just Not That Into You. A life changing book for many women. It explains a lot…….

  6. Endless19 says:

    Ughhh…that’s the worst…I think it’s just because they get tired of us…and that’s not fair because we don’t get tired of them…I REALLY HATE MEN!!!

  7. a man says:

    I posted on may 22nd my comments.

    After months of talking a hell of a lot he just quits and he can’t give you an explanation….. He must have some serious problems, but, it really is not fair to anyone to not give reasons unless he does not want to hurt you…..but….he already has………

    This now means that the next relationship with a man, will leave YOU waiting for HIM to pull the same old trick. He will wonder about your analysing/pre-emptive ways and it may put a slight strain on things all because your previous partner was able to give a proper closure to the situation.

    Maybe tell the next man straight, if you want to be with me, then be with me, don’t mess me around or you will be gone.

    Of course, these things are easier said literally than said to another person…..

    Good luck.

  8. rose says:

    me suck period they dont have feelings.


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