Child Custody – Who gets the kids?
According to Marc E. Angelucci, Esq., president of the Los Angeles chapter of the National Coalition of Free Men, a non-profit group that examines sex discrimination affecting men and boys, laws based on gender are often disproportionately levied against men.
‘Men are systematically and institutionally discriminated against in fathers’ custody rights, domestic violence policies, military conscription, criminal sentencing, forced labor laws, reproductive and parenting rights, dating expectations and more,’ Angelucci said.
However, others believe that these laws are in place to balance out persisting gender inequality.
Hohyon Kim, a history major at UC Irvine, reacted to these findings, saying, ‘Overall, I’d say that women are still being discriminated against more overall than men. I think such laws exist to balance out [gender inequality].’
So to balance out gender inequality, we play with a child’s life? “Sorry Junior, we know you said you wanted to stay with Dad, but men get paid more on average than women for doing the same job, so we have to give you to Mom to balance it out.”
Do you feel the courts are fair in custody cases, or that women always go into it with an advantage?
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Tags: Male Perspective
Haha no replies
Ah well, nice try
lol, I know right,, oh well…I gave it a shot.
Sweet kid!
So sweet and then they growwww into nasty old pervs
Anyway he seems to be forgetting you could rape women in marriage ten years ago. That didn’t favour women very much. Nor does society in general and everything outside a few scriptured laws, e.g. media, work, public houses.
Women know they have the advantage and they know it’s not fair and that’s why they’ve remained silent regarding your honest and intelligent question. Trying to hold women accountable for any wrong doing is like trying to nail jello to the wall
You think you would have atleast received a few ” of course women should automatically get custody of the children because men are sick perverts!” but not even the crazies on this forum are speaking up. .
To be fair and unbias the courts are unfair in most cases. I have seen some really terrible cases where the man should of had the child and instead the child had to suffer due the mothers hate for the father. The child was nothing more than a meal ticket. I believe that if mothers don’t follow the court orders for visitation then maybe if they went without the support they would think twice.
Or if they had to go to jail for violation of a court order it might make them see things in a new light. In the mean time too many children are being denied the right to know their father. This is a general situation I by no means deny that there are cases where the father should not be allowed any where near the child. I raised 3 kids and never asked for support, I worked 2 jobs and paid a sitter. I asked for no support and he never ask to see the kids. His loss! he has also lost out on 14 wonderful grandkids. I never slammed him, the kids made up their own mind and to this day they have nothing to do with him. I have also had many children thru foster care and seen manya sad story. Its too bad, these kids did not ask to be born yet they suffer for others ingnorance to love them the way they deserve. And yes I hate some men too but they are not all $^*&^(&)(*)+)+_!
I think Jason is right. Men shouldn’t get children, aren’t men superbly attracted to youth – thus young children?
You ought to see my dad, he’s constantly staring at my brother’s baby’s pussy when she’s getting her nappy changed. He always used to stare at me growing up, trying to hide it, but the same old perv.
Same with all men. The curiosity of the female body growing up, it destroys them although it’s natural.
They are so nasty. We have to put up with their foulness our entire lives. They are such simple creatures.
I think it is sad that these laws bend toward the mother, regardless of how good a dad the guy is. My friends mom made up awful….like THE worst… lies about their father and had the kids totally brainwashed about him. They cried when he won, but they understand things now (she went MIA too). There are some crazy women out there.
Sometimes I think if a guy is fighting for custody, that automatically says something about him. I’ve never heard of a bad father trying.
Damn right. I was one of the lucky ones. My mom knew she couldn’t take care of me when she left my dad, so she didn’t take me. If she wanted too, she probably could have won custody. Even though she had a history of medical problems, and no college education.
A perfect example of when it was probably better to have the dad raise the kid. A friend of the family, Dan, broke up with his wife. They agreed to joint custody, though Dan ended up having her only four monthes a year. Selma, his ex-wife, had financial trouble for those four monthes. Why? Because she was a bitch who couldn’t do anything, and got all her money from Dan. By the time Dan managed to win full custody through an appeal, Janel, the girl, was just like her mom. She was lazy, an idiot, and tried to steal money from her dad. She got into drugs, and her boy friend is a coke addict just out of prison. She’s already pregnant and is Hiv-positive, though it might be AIDS by now. Its been a while since she’s checked in.
Penelopiss, the attraction may be protective and platonic. Unless you were staring at his crotch at the same time? And how do you know exactly what he was looking at? Due to the ways the pupils catch light, unless he was less than a foot or two from her, he could have been looking just as eaisly at her face. Beyond that, the eye has a tendency to wander. Sometimes, I don’t even notice changing my gaze until after the face. The angle of the face also applies to the apperance of where the pupils look. If his head was tilted, the eyes would move a bit to keep his vision more or less centered. All in all, you would need to be very good, or he would need to be so close as to not even trying to hide it, to find it. Now, if the baby is the size of a ten year old, you might be right. But otherwise, its rather hard to tell.
Reason and Logic, here’s my reply to your post.
http://www.childabuseforensics.org/page/page/1544123.htm
Women and Men are both the blame. The reason women seem to exploit the situation is the hold they have over the father or ‘s of their children. Women make less money than men, are more likely to be raped, passed over for job advancements, men do not physically bear children, or the psycological, mentality that goes with it. I know there are some wicked women out there, but a woman’s past never dies like a man’s does. Women are almost still regarded as second class citizens in the United States. I say ALMOST.
What a load of shit. Women get paid more money, women get better jobs, women get preference in education, Women aren’t the only one who deal with psychological problems when they carry our babies. Women belittle men consistantly and get away with it. Women do as they please. How dare you think you can take our children and all the slanderous remarks you get away with, labelling all of us guys as pervs. Women will be the end of the earth because we are awakening to your biggest game ever and we will not have children with you any longer. You treat them like a possession like you own them. Then go on about love. You abuse children just as much if not more then men. You are all for equality but only when it suits you. You keep coming at guys as you held the child for 9 months and really only half of that if that was disruptive. It is the natural order in which children are concieved. Men didn’t make it that way. You don’t have the right to my half of my child so get a life you discriminative heaps of crap. You say you know what love is but when a man tries to love you just throw it to the garbage tip but then expect us to bow down to your every whim. You women are pathetic. You are creating your own death by ending of humans. You say men rape you but you know that isn’t true. You consented and you all try to get dick wherever you can and some of you do it for ulterior motives of being paid free handouts. Why don’t you blind bitches go live in a country like Saudi where you will see what women having no rights is all about. You self centred lazy liars are due to be dismembered from your schemes. We as men are sick of your stupid mind games and labels. Oh men are no good they cheat but i lkeft him and i have been with 100 men owe but none will settle down with me. Bullshit. I know many men who took the responsibility to stay home and nurture the children while the woman went to work all because she got paid more then he did. You are all liars and hypocrits.
Why don’t you women go and fight in wars us men don’t want to do it. We are made do it. Go shovel shit and get paid pittance for it. We don’t want to do it anymore, we want to stay at home with the kids and get paid from our exes and governments. Take responsibility for your own bullshit. You want equality so live it. Everytime thing get heated with children it all comes down to the burden on you for bearing that child but thats it its a burden when it suits you and yours when it suits you. So which is it a burden or your child. Men just want to be with there children. We don’t care about money like you self righteous bitches. You think we have it so easy. Get in a truck but change your own tyre. Oh and open your own door, we don’t care. Pay your own way but stop denying our right to our children. You have sex when you feel like it as if you are the only ones whgo make consent. Then you scream rape. You say someone sexually harassed you but you instigate it with sexual harassment in the first place. Women do as they please when they please with no equality or common sense. Until men can bear children don’t blame us for the way nature is. If you don’t want children because it is a burden then don’t have sex. Only when it suits you do you what is right. You winge about how someone beat you but it was you who punched first then expect different treatment because you are a woman. In the next sentence you then say you want equal rights. So if you hit a man then under equal rights you would expect to be hit back. Oh and before you get on your high horse i have never hit a woman and rarely a man because violence is not needed only in dire situations for defense. I once thought women were cute and loved how cute they were but now i see evil and vindictiveness at the expense of my child. You want men to treat you like a lady but then want equal rights. Which is it? Want me to flourish you with love and affection and eyes of love or do you want me to treat you like one of the boys. Quite frankly i don’t want to treat my lover as a boy. I want to treat her like she is my princess and most women i know love that. Its only when they don’t get there own way do they say the bullshit they do. And yes i am not getting my own way but in a completely diffent ballgame are other lives at stake. the lives of children who need there dad not judst some vindictive bitch out for revenge when in all it was also her fault if not her complete fault. I still have women friends just like you probably have male friends even though we write all this bullshit. In the words of Cat Stevens “why can’t we all just get along?” The answer is money and no other reason. If money were taken out of the equation i guarantee we would have loving families who would stick together rather then try for rights. I don’t expect my wife to clean as she doesn’t expect me to do the yard. We share and do different tasks for the best interests of our family. If it means she works ands i stay home then so be it. If it means i have to work 80 hours per week then so be it. It isn’t what we want to do but governments have made it this way because we are sheep, all of us and the more we all fight the better off the governments will be. Until all men and all women learn this we will always deny each other our equal rights. Deep down we all know it. Some women say they were raped and some guy beat them or the likes of above. Your dad always looks at your pussy. He may think you always look at his dick. in essence you have no idea what he is looking at and form in your own imagination what you perceive to be true. Has he ever done anything sexually wrong if so then you are right. If not then stop going as far to belittle men that you also degrade your own father. My mother held knives to my throat and subjected me to porn and things but i grew into a decent person only wanting the best. Yes it has affected me mentally but i do the best i can. It isn’t just men who do bad things and when women and government take there heads out of there arses and stop denying this then there will always be a gender war. A war that only advantages government. So i guess they will never take there heads out of there arses. Its like a race to the finish line, it is ridiculous. Yes there are evil out there in both genders but most people are for love. It is ashame that you women have been through pain but yes as a man i have also had my fair share that may just be as bad if not worse then some of you at the hands of the opposite sex. You have to look deep inside your heart and tell the truth. For instance, you got into a fight with your man, he hit you, you leave but then keep his children away. Did he ever lay a hand on that child anymore then you. Tell yourself the truth and then see the damage you are causing your own child, the one you say you love.
I actually think in the overall big picture the courts are fair. If you would have asked me 20 years ago, I would have said that the men maybe at a disadvantage but now a days I believe that you may have the odd disgruntle man or women but most of the cases are in the best interest of the children no matter what sex the parent is.
Yes I’ve heard of many cases where this has corrupted the course of justice with men trying to save their children from alcoholic mothers etc..It happened to a close friend of mine; his ex-wife got total custody, though after 6 months she realised she didn’t really want that full-time responsibility anyway and asked him to share again. Her whole custody battle had been fought against the father rather than for the child.
I don’t think the courts rulings are fair in some cases but for the most part it works.
A lot of these laws that seem to be discriminatory were put in place to protect women. Remember there was a time when women didn’t have a say in anything. Things like spousal abuse, infidelity,and the overall exploitation of women were a regular part of life not so long ago. Women of those times didn’t have anyone or anything to back them up until they fought for it. Thus giving birth to a lot of these laws.
I’m in no way saying that it’s always right for the mother to get the children. I think that whatever evidence both parties bring to the table is what the judges should consider and not worry looking sexist. Also, divorces are often nasty fights and people lie to get as much out of each other as they can. They often are not thinking of the children at all. They may not be able to see that maybe their former spouse is really better, or they’re too angry to consider joint custody.
I think that when looking at current laws it’s important to remember why they were put in place. Laws generally work for the majority and we should try to change them for the small few who try to exploit them.
When it comes down to it, women actually birth children and can feed them from their bodies. The baby grows inside the woman. A man cannot have an abortion. Biology isn’t equal.
It’s not fair for men to be denied their children, but it’s also not fair how many women have to shoulder the burden of childcare alone.
It’s hard to say, cause I see more and more now that some…..SOME….judges are growing brains and actually trying to really determine who the better parent is and not base it on sex. Even more now, grandparents are winning custody and that’s good stuff too.
I got my kids full time. I’m good with it. But sad that she isn’t in their lives more. For them. I’m ok with it.
The laws set in place to equalize gender are great factors in inhibiting our social move towards actual equalization between tha sexes and race for that matter. Our laws and social programs become crutches that these sub classes use and live off of and fail to go on to perform equally with the rest of society.
As an example, why would a single mother who choosesyo live off of child support, meant for the kids, go find work or even seek education opportunities when she has no need to work to provide for herself or her kids? why would a woman who will get promoted due a governmental quota system strive to become a better leader or spend extra hours at work? I don’t mean to sound sexist, but that is the question right? Are our laws balancing the field for women? Why do women need those laws? They are not inferior. They are capable of performing at the same level as men in most career fields. Let them show it. Let them gain equality on their own merit, and make the same sacrifices as men.
Let’s not give any man or woman any doubt that we are all capable, and focus instead on those individuals who discriminate. Is we do not continue to highlite inequality and instead accept equality as the norm, it will become the norm. Those special interest groups who make their loving from highlighting inequality are not only using women for their livelihood, but are blocking true progress for them. The same is true for other sub groups as well.
If we focus on showing what right looks like, our society will reflect that model, if we continual to model inequality, we will stay where we are with very slow or no change.
And no custody laws are not fair to fathers or their children. They are unhealthy for men, women children, and our society. They degrade our values and morals as a society and inhibit out childrens development.
Women don’t have to shoulder the burden of child care alone. Men can do it. I would gladly raise my kids instead of be alienated from them by their mother. It would be no burden. If children are your burden, let the fathers have a chance at equality as a parent.
Biology is different, equal is not an issue on this regard. Women have more choices than they accept. Men are willing to participate in a larger role, and assume the entire role when that is the right choice. Men more often than not, are not given the opportunity and blamed for not helping. Yes, some men and women choose to walk away, but when a man was never given a chance, or it was taken from him, saying women have to shoulder the burden is inaccurate.
Does the fact that a woman gave birth to a child give her all rights to the child’s life, regardless of the well being of the child, and mean that a man has no rights?
I don’t know why you think biology is an argument. Why does it come down to who gives birth, and what do you think the limits of that right should be?
Census: Dramatic Rise in Number of Single Fathers
July 4th, 2011 by Robert Franklin, Esq.
Census data show single fathers with kids are one of the fastest growing household types in the U.S. This article explains that changing attitudes – on the part of fathers, mothers, courts and society generally, are at the root of the change (Atlanta Journal Constitution, 6/18/11).
In a nutshell, mothers are working more and place less emphasis on parenthood today than they did in 1970. Fathers are moving in the opposite direction – toward embracing the role of parent.
Experts say the numbers reflect not only a shift in court and societal attitudes about child-rearing but women for whom motherhood has become less important.
It shows that perhaps more men are able and willing to be primary caretakers — and more women are recognizing that they don’t want to or can’t, and are therefore letting their children go, said Julia McQuillan, a sociology professor at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
McQuillan said that society has this notion that work is very important to men and parenting is very important to women, but fatherhood is very important to many men.
“To me, this trend suggests that not only do men say it’s important, they are doing it,” she said.
The societal changes that began in the late 60s and early 70s always held the potential for dads to be more involved in children’s lives than before. That it’s taken so long to see a change stands as mute testimony to the intransigence of family courts, state legislatures and anti-father lobbyists that have resisted greater father-child involvement. That resistance has always come at the expense of children who lose their fathers, fathers who lose their children and mothers who lose the opportunity to have careers.
Matthew Weinshenker, an assistant professor of sociology at Fordham University, said the state trend (in Georgia) mirrors what’s happening nationally, where the number of single dads has almost doubled from 1.5 million to 2.79 million since 1990. In addition, those same census figures, he said, show single dads are older than single moms on average and have higher incomes.
That last is important. Countless researchers over many decades have bemoaned single motherhood for its propensity to produce children with poorer outcomes in all areas of life than those of two-parent families. Why should those outcomes be any better with single fathers than with single mothers?
At first glance, there’s no reason to suggest that they would. But two things suggest to me that the rise in single fathers shouldn’t cause the same alarm that the rise in single mothers did.
First, when the increase in single mothers began, it was at the expense of two-parent families. More children raised by single mothers meant fewer raised in dual parent households. That was due to the dramatic increase in the divorce rate and the shocking increase in out of wedlock childbearing.
Now, the divorce rate is either stable or falling slightly. Moreover, those single fathers are parenting children who would otherwise be in a single-mother home, not a two-parent one. That is, instead of living with Mom post-divorce, they’re living with Dad.
So the rise in single fathers doesn’t signal an increase in children in single-parent homes.
The second reason is that single fathers tend to earn more than do single mothers. This Census Bureau report from 2007 shows that 80% of single fathers with children under 18 in the home were employed versus about 70% of single mothers.
More importantly, only 26.3% of those dads earned less than $30,000 per year while a hefty 50.5% of single mothers did. We know that single parenthood is bad for kids apart from the fact that single parents have less money than dual parents do. Still, the greater incomes that single fathers bring in can ameliorate many of the problems single parents face, alternative childcare being one of the most obvious.
The AJC article isn’t long and the dads they interview surely aren’t representative of much. Still, one other thing got my attention about the article.
The rise in single motherhood over the last 40 years came with a rise of another sort – the rise in articles kvetching about how difficult their lives were. The theme was essentially unvaried: women with children faced the impossible task of raising the kids and meeting the demands of a job. These mothers were alternately described as epic heroines or galley slaves, sometimes both.
But compare that with what the dads in the AJC piece say about their circumstances.
For his part, Kuklinski said he’s been the primary caregiver of his son since January, when he and his wife started divorce proceedings after a decade of marriage. “It’s been the best six months of my life,” he said recently.
Ziad Minkara of Kennesaw became sole caretaker of his children three years ago. He admits the family had to make adjustments.
“When something like this happens, your whole world stops, but you shift gears and go forward with the minimum impact on the daily life of the kids,” Minkara said. “That’s what’s important.”
Minkara, a real estate investor, is the father of 12-year-old twin boys and a 14-year-old daughter.
“Having to juggle everything I do and still be there for them has been hard but rewarding at the same time,” he said.
No one claims it’s easy, but these guys aren’t complaining. They think fatherhood is great and even the hard part is just that – a task that needs doing.
And by the way, remember that a recent study by the Families and Work Institute found that men are experiencing much more work-family conflict than women are.
It’d be interesting to track the attitudes expressed by single fathers and single mothers about juggling the demands of work and childcare.
No one pretends that we’re anywhere near gender equality in parenting. We’re worlds away from that and policy makers seem to be far behind the rest of us in realizing the need for greater involvement of fathers in their children’s lives.
Still, many people seem to be “voting with their feet,” i.e. taking matters into their own hands. That means we’re moving toward more complete father-child relationships as the census shows. That in turn may be producing a fait accompli that, at some point in the future, laws and legislatures will be forced to acknowledge and accommodate.