So I have been out of my relationship with my ex for about seven months. He was abusive so I was hesitant for a while to get into another relationship out of fear that the same things would happen. A few months ago I began talking to another man and we agreed to take it slow and not really commit anything, just kinda be a little more than friends with benefits.
Out of curiosity I asked him if he had slept with anyone else, he told me that he slept with his ex once after me and him started talking. Although he has kids with the girl, that is no excuse for him to think he can have sex with her whenever. Shortly after I met the “baby mama” she began to come over to his house more and more and sleep over there a lot. So I asked him if we could be monogamous but not label it a relationship because the thought of him sleeping with someone and then sleeping with me is kind of repulsive…i’m not one for sloppy seconds. He agreed to this without hesitation.
About a week later I went to his house and he was passed out on the couch, apparently he had been drinking that day with some friends. Not long after I was there a car pulled up outside and a girl knocked on the door. She came in and handed him some black and mild’s and sat down on the couch. I introduced myself (he is bad about introducing people) and she began telling me about everything he had drank that day. We were both sitting on the couch and he came and sat down between us. She was all over him and he didn’t stop her. We watched t.v. for a min then he went and got in his bed. I went in there and jumped on him then got beside him hoping that his friend would leave. Well she didn’t, she came in there and got on top of him while I was laying there and was rubbing all over him and licking his nipples and whispering in his ear. So I got up and said that I was going home to check on my son (who was with my sister) and get some sleep. I didn’t feel like fighting for him because he is really not worth it. He came outside and asked me what was wrong and I told him nothing, that I wanted some booty but that obviously wasn’t happening because he had other plans.
Not to sound egotistical because I’m not the hottest thing on this earth, but I am pretty and am comfortable with my body and was kinda shocked that he wanted to sleep with her over me.
I tried to not let it get to me, he was honest about what happened between them. So I continued to talk to him and just called off the whole monogamy thing. I haven’t slept with anyone else and don’t intend to because I am not one to sleep around a lot. I normally stick to one guy at a time. But his baby mama has been staying over a lot lately and I just found out something about me that complicates the situation more. I asked him if he was trying to make things work with her again and he said no, that he was just trying to keep things civil between them for the kids.
I think there is a line between being separated and civil and what they are doing. I think what there are doing is more confusing for the kids than anything else, and they are not being good examples of healthy relationships. Sleeping in the same bed at night and then going off with other people and sleeping with other people. The kids know that this is going on, but I am not one to tell you how to raise your kids, so I never mentioned it.
I guess I am just really confused, I have feelings for him and would like to pursue them but I know he is not good at being faithful, and I have never cheated. I don’t want to set myself up to get hurt, but I can’t help the attraction I have towards him.
To make matters worse, I just found out I am pregnant with his child a few days ago. We agreed to an abortion because neither of us are ready for another child or able to support another one. He agreed to pay for most of it if not all of it, which helps me out. Ever since I told him he has been very distant, he will say he is coming over and not show up and sometimes ignores my calls. I don’t know what to do. I’m confused as to whether I should even try to stay friends after the abortion. I am also really nervous about getting it done and I haven’t told anyone else, so he is really the only person I want to talk about it with and he hasn’t been around.
Not sure if I will ever find a good man to love.
This post was submitted by aly87.
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