My Dating Life

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I was dating this guy for 8 months. We saw each other every week and we were not seeing other people. But he never honored me as his girlfriend. When we started dating, he called and texted me every day. As the relationship growing, he called and texted less and less. Then we got to a point where he never wanted to hang out with me on weekends. He still wanted to see me but only when he had nothing else to do with his friends, and that was usually weekdays.

He has a lot of female friends. One day I texted him asking him how he was and he said he was fine and was having dinner with XXX, his extremely close female friend. He asked if I wanted to join them, which I did. I went there only find out how close they were. They made jokes about having sex with each other and I saw him touched her breasts. After that I thought I needed to talk to him, so I did. When I brought up the issue, he talked about something else. He mentioned that there was no future for us because I just graduated and I had to go back home and he also had to go to another country for his job. The truth was, he knew that I was looking for a job in the area and that I didn’t want to leave him. The job offer that he got in another country wasn’t even something certain. He didn’t know if he would take it or when he would leave for this job if ever. Anyway, we still kept dating, but he saw me less and less. So I talked to him again. This time he said the same thing and he said he wanted to be friends, which I agreed.

So became friends. And for the first time that I had dinner with him as friends, he drove me to his house and acted like the break up never happened. I thought we were back together, so I spent a night with him. The next time I talked to him, I mentioned Valentine’s Day. I was wondering if we were gonna spend that day together, then I found out that he didn’t want to. So I told myself it was time to move on. My friend said he was gonna help me making this V-Day less painful by taking me out to dinner. I thought about that and I came to decide that if he couldn’t give me what I want, the I should find someone else who would give me what I want. And I put those words on my gchat message. He saw the message and asked me what it meant. Then he said he didn’t like it and he was mean to me.

I don’t understand. What did I do to deserve this? Did I do anything wrong. I love him so much and I didn’t even tell him I love him because I knew it would just freak him out and I would never see him again. I hate him and I love him. I don’t want to lose him.

This post was submitted by lovepuppies.

  • mary

    No, You didnt do anything wrong. Trust me, they are all jerks. All of them. If they are not ready, then its not going to work. They hate talking about anything. Who cares if he was mean to you, he doesnt appreciate you and when he does, you will have already found someone who does and itll be too late for him by then.

  • Michelle

    He definitely doesn’t appreciate or respect you and it’s great that you’ve realized it’s time to move on. You’ll find someone who respects you and treats you like you want to be treated IF you’re willing to respect yourself and treat yourself properly. He’ll just take advantage of you, or anyone else for that matter, if he can get away with it.

  • choppy

    u know, my 26 year old male friend told me that all guys wanna be in a relationship, but they just don’t know how.

    men dun tend to go ask their friends for help, or seek out for advice unless they want to put some effort… but we all know that men are lazy and don’t want to put so much effort and get the easy way out (like most human beings) and get all of the benefits outta it…

    they really learn from experience, if they choose to accept to learn it and take it of great value.

  • Shell

    Ignore the to and fro relationship he’s offering.. he’s being a dick and don’t feel you don’t deserve better.

  • Viki

    Hun, reading this makes me sad. He clearly doesn’t understand what he has.

    I’ve seen this happen countless times to my best friend, Jen. I think that at this point, you’re going to have to bite the bullet and move on to a guy who’s really willing to be there for you, not some loser that keps blowing you off.

  • http://n.a rebecca

    It’s all lies and secrets with these kind of men. And it’s so easy to believe that someone isn’t going to screw you over, if they take you out and treat you good. I think that the first warning signs should of been his inability to call you his girlfriend though. After what, 8 months? That’s long enough. I would of demanded some truth. I think there’s a lot of tongue-biting that goes on in relationships at the start because you dont wanna trample on what you assume may become a good thing. THEN you realise you’ve been dicked along the whole time and you wish you could go back and demand the truth. I mean how difficult is it, to just tell someone you’re not interested anymore, or you dont feel the same? There is a bloody way of handeling these things and any guy who does it by ignoring texts, or not calling, or bailing on spending time together is doing it the teenage boy way. I dont get why guys in their 20′s are still into that. That hot and cold bullshit is beyond me.

    sorry for the rant, gotta let it out. x

  • Sadie

    Sad, yes, but not entirely unheard of, to say the least!

    I am sorry you are caught in such a terrible position; actually, I hope that by now you are out of it.

    Try to get up the nerve to just cut him out entirely. The relationship will never change for the better, he will never be what you want him to be. He is an asshole, and a user, and scum.

    You deserve so much better! I hope you find exactly that.

    Best,

    Sadie

  • nobodysangel

    He’s not even worth your second thought! Never settle for being a glorified booty call. He is a jerk and I hope he’s out of your life. Good luck!

  • Angela Renee

    No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m gonna say that If he feels comfortable groping another girl in front of you, he’s the one with issues. I’d move on. This guy only “likes” you because you let him manipulate you. He’s like a sick puppeteer. It’s time you stop playing the puppet and move on to a more mutual, and more monogamous, relationship. Good luck. : )