Looks Don’t Matter?

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Last night, like any other night I got on my elliptical trainer and listened to music.  I got to thinking about all the different kinds of people that go on sites, such as I Hate Men and was thinking “do looks have a huge impact on relationships?”    Initially looks and personality are what trigger a connection/spark.

Over the past few years I went from a size 8 to a size 4, all by using various fitness equipment.  I’m now in my 20s and if I ever run into people from high school they act like I have changed to a different person.  Guys take more interest, guys who would have never in high school.   What bothers me is that, my personality has never changed over the past 8 years, but all of a sudden because I dropped a couple pounds more attention is brought my way?

When people say, “Looks don’t matter” apparently that’s not the case.

  • gt_nygirl

    I could say maybe they are reacting to your new healthy glow. Skin looks lovely when you’re healthy. Or maybe, it’s that you feel better about yourself on the inside and that shows on the outside.
    However, I don’t believe those things are true. Yes, we’ve been feed notions of beauty. Most being that thin is sexy. Thin being: healthy or not, sadly. Studies show ppl’s subconscience is what does the real attracting. Who knows? But if you’re fit and healthy that’s all that matters. Men are shallow, period.

  • Jason

    I’m in the same boat as you Destiny. When girls find out I have money they’re all over me and it pisses me off. I try to remind myself that women are attracted to men with ressources because it potentially provides a safe and survivable environment for the offspring. (atleast that’s what evolutionary theorists would say. Yeah that’s right! Women are also guided by deep seeded evolutionary pressures.) As much as I’d like for women to be able to not be so ‘shallow’ I have to be honest and say that I am incapable of falling in love with a women I dont find attractive. I suppose it’s natures way of creating healthy babies.

    Here’s my recommendation. Let yourself get ‘fat’ again and once you’ve found someone who accepts you as you are, reward him by getting in shape. But not to skinny, voluptuous women are hot as hell too you know.

  • Destiny

    Hi Jason,

    I’m definitely not going to “let myself go” again, I’m at a healthy size now and happy with how I feel. And you are right, women do find it reassuring to find that a man can always support her, but honestly that isn’t everything. Personally, I would feel unsuccessful as a woman if I couldn’t provide for myself BY MYSELF, it would be a bonus to know that the man I love was capable of supporting the two of us.

    By the way, I was never “fat” as you quoted I’ve always been a curvier girl, but now I’m just more fit. Nicely put tho ha :)

  • Char

    That’s just the way things are unfortunately, men are more attracted to thinner woman. I’ve lost 28lbs over the past year and I can honestly say that it really does effect your own personality as well and maybe that’s just another things guys pick up on. It may not be all about weight loss. When I was 28lbs heavier my confidence wasn’t great, I didn’t enjoy shopping or going to clubs because I was always so self consious. But now I know I look good and prefer myself this way and that’s all that counts. You gain confidence when you lose weight and I think that this contributes an awful lot to attracting the opposite sex. If you feel better on the inside you’re going to look better on the outside too.

  • fedupwithmen

    I couldn’t agree with you more. The same thing happened to me. I went from about an 8 to a 2 or 4 basically because I couldn’t stand the pressure of being called fat anymore by every male I knew. One of my now ex-boyfriend’s friends said to me one night in front of a group of people (I’m 5’6″ and weighed about 134 then) “you know, if you would lose about 20 pounds you could maybe be in Playboy because you have a really pretty face.” I was disgusted, and my boyfriend totally defended the guy. This is one of those moments I will never forget, and it’s been nearly 10 years. But anyway, people did start treating me differently from my home town right away. Everyone who was in the “pretty people” group started asking me to hang out, and the guys started really reacting to me. Little did they know, I was so thin you could see my spine (I’ve got a medium size bone structure, so 2 is too small for me). Then, I gained a little bit back, not much, and people were making comments about that, like, “wow, you were really thin for a while. I remember you were always so husky in school (5’6″ and 130, mind you). you still look good, though.” It’s like every time I go home and just try to go out and have a good time, I get a critique about my weight. What is wrong with people.

  • Destiny

    To fedupwithmen:

    Thanks for leaving the comment…it’s nice knowing that there are other women out there who feel the same way

    Thanks!

  • Brony

    Why do people care so much about womens’ weights?? People are crazy…

    My friend thinks two polo mints is something to feel guilty about. When she does have meals she wolfs the stuff down so she obviously enjoys food. She just takes stupid pains to be an idiot about her weight.

  • Furious

    I hate men. You girls are talking about being fat at a size 8, what the hell is wrong with you? How is it that we are being told that a size 8 is fat and we believe it? Am I less of a human being because I’m not bone thin? Does that make me unloveable? Does that make men think I’m of no value but to *uck and leave? I have come to believe men are incapable of love.

  • Jay

    Looks do matter. But it doesn’t matter if you’re just a little cute or a model. I just need to find the girl attractive and then personality counts. So if you keep in decent shape, you really shouldn’t worry.