by Kataani
Heartbroken – again..
1:12 pm in I Hate Men by Kataani
I don’t know what possessed me to forgive him for the second time. Most likely I’m a complete idiot, and now I regret not taking my friends advice last year when he said ‘tell him to bugger off, because he’ll only hurt you again.’
Anyway.. things were just about perfect for 7months ish, (we’d been together for just over a year) then suddenly in a matter of days everything’s changed. He says he’s feeling down and doesnt want to talk to anyone about whats going on, yet I see him laughing and messing about with his friends, and everyone else but me, as though nothings wrong. So I say to him, I feel like you don’t even care about me anymore, and if you dont love me, I need to know so I’m not waiting about for you, and so I can try to move on’ And what I get is something like ‘No I dont love you at the moment.’
I don’t know how a man’s minds works, but seriously, he cant expect to just drop me when he feels like crap then come back to me when hes alright again, surely?
Anyway.. It was a long distance relationship, and literally days before he dumped me we was talking about seeing each other because he was going to come down to stay with me for a weekend, so at this point I was shocked, because I honestly don’t understand how one day hes telling me he loves me, and the next, everything’s just messed up and he apparently doesn’t feel the same way anymore. He said how its ‘best for both of us in the long run.’ A few days before this I noticed he’d been spending a lot of time with this other woman. Of course I didn’t think anything of it, and 2 days ago he told me there isn’t anyone else, and that shes not his girlfriend and he doesn’t intend on getting one. Which I really cant believe, because he spends all his time with her, which seriously gets on my nerves, obviously because I still have feelings for him, even though he couldn’t give a crap if I died right this second. What I HATE, is that every time he was talking to me, it was like he was trying to blame me. And he had the nerve to say he wanted to friends if possible and I’d ‘get over it’…
He’s rips my heart into a thousand pieces (for the third time i might add) then expects me to be friends with him??? I just don’t know how to put down into words how i’m feeling right now, and i don’t even know if this is making sense.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEN?
What did you say to him??
Makes me so angry men always manage to push the blame on you, the antics of a kid; there’s plenty of other men in the sea anyway lol. Wish you were here at uni with me! Tooo easy to be single, everyone knows men and relationships are a no go.
xx o[ ]o
“having the man you love break up with you and saying ‘we can still be friends’ is like your dog dying and your mum saying you can still keep it.”
Told him i couldnt deal with being friends, I told myself before that’d be his last chance, now I just dont want anything to do with him. Which is hard cos im tempted alot to just talk to him and i think about him constantly. But hey, what can ya do?
Trying to move on but i think its gonna take a while, I know i deserve better than him atleast..
Men are always gonna break your heart! So always respect yourself before any stupid man who is going to end up in a grave one day, where you can spit at him and watch his corpse. Wish him a nice time in hell ;P
I wonder what his face will be like as a corpse – hollowed? Will he be so desperate to shove his dick in everything as a corpse? Will he be also reading playboy in his grave? PROBABY
I would dig my exes grave up and shake his bones about in a sack, and let my dog rip his head apart.
Men die earlier hehe
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It’s true, they are so… wrong.
I’m gonna be 30 this summer and still didn’t manage by now to have a normal relationship with a men for more than 1, 2 months…
I’ve been single all my life and I’m planning to stay so. Life is hard enough as it is but to have a selfish asshole on my mind.
To Kataani:
I think you did the right thing by saying you didn’t want to be friends anymore. My last relationship was almost 4 years and ended very badly. He wanted to be friends, but it’s just better to get those times out of your mind, and trust me it does take a really long time to stop having feelings for that person…but it’s better to break the tie when you are in the ‘healing’ process.
Take time for yourself, hang out with your friends! This site helps because everyone is surrounded by relationships and at some point in everyone’s life a relationship has gone bad, but we all learn from them.
Sad as it may sound, makes me feel better to just talk about it on here. Really do appreciate the replies, somehow its hardest to talk about it to the people I’m closest too, I just end up bursting into tears and I never feel like they understand. But keeping it all inside drags me down even more.
To a414: ‘I think you did the right thing by saying you didn’t want to be friends anymore.’ Am glad you think so too, previously when he’d come back to me I’d say sure, lets just be friends, then it would always end up more than that and after a while he’d just hurt me all over again. I’ve never felt more lonely than I do now though, without him.
Thanks for the kind words
I am sorry to hear of your problems ladies.
I can only offer the same advice that I normally offer to women.
If the same old thing keeps happening, try and change some variables.
Another man wrote .”If you find these people in bars, stop going to bars”.
Just change some things.
If you just don’t have luck at all then you may have to look at yourself and wonder if you are lowering your defences too quickly. Remember that testosterone fuelled men are “dogs” lol and have a very bad attitude towards everything.
Make sure you stay strong for yourself. Before you look for man 2.0 or 3.0 make sure you are of sound mind and confident in yourself.
Not all men are bad. You have not met all men have you. I believe at the last count there were easily over. You may have to play very hard to have lol. If a man can wait a few months then he just may be quite patient and intelligent enough to have evolved from the bottom rung of the evolutionary ladder.
Good luck with whatever you decide and please try not to generalise too much.
I know you are in pain and you want to have someone to hug/hold you, touch you delicately, have a sense of humour, be a man able to take criticism. Some men out there are actually love shy and will never find a partner because they cannot handle one due to their own minds negative feedback. Most love shy men will not be found in normal circles as they won’t associate in crowded places or have many friends to hang out with as they don’t want a gay label if they don’t have a partner. They are practically destined to lead an unfulfilled, empty life of gloom and touch deprivation. Trust me, I know this for fact.
I really do wish you every success. Be strong, bold and assertive. Remember, it’s your life, not theirs.
I’ve been in the same boat. Just broke it off with a guy I’d dated 4 almost 7 yrs. I’m only 31 now. I honestly felt like he robbed a better part of my life. But I’ve come 2 realize that it was my fault, not his. I kept believing him nd taking him back. I moved all over the earth w/this guy of my own free will. No one forced me. And, honestly, when I looked at it like I started 2 feel a little better. I finally looked @ it honestly. And I realized that I am the only one that can make me happy. You can do it!
well i feel the same way – my husband of 21 yrs and 4 kids later – was working in texas – we or now I live in NY – long story short he decides that he isn’t coming home – he wasn’t even going to tell me – i had to beg him for an answer – i understand women aren’t perfect either but what makes a man just decide to up and leave and never look back?