Hate Men? Or Are You Confused?
Lately my dating life has been so confusing. A couple days ago I sat down on my couch to watch a movie and I honestly got a little depressed and thought to myself, “it would be nice to watch a movie with someone.” Now, don’t get me wrong dating is fun, but it’s…hard. I love meeting new people and having the exciting feeling in my stomach of the unexpected, but always wonder in the back of my mind, “where is this going?”
Like many women I am a huge planner. I love to know what’s going on – when, where, why…etc. My love life is the only thing that I don’t feel I have under control. It’s funny because as much as I feel alone sometimes I’m never alone. Problems I have been dealing with lately are my guy friends wanting more from me…more than just “friends.” I hate hurting anyone’s feelings, but I certainly don’t want anyone taking my friendship for granted.
There is a guy who I was seeing, and when I say was I mean our so called “friendship” will most likely be ending relatively shortly. Not to sound like every woman in America, but the problem really is him this time. The personality is good, but his overall demeanor is shall I say, “immature.” I’m a senior in college and ready to be independent. I don’t even think this guy is ready to do his own laundry, let alone move out of his parents house. He also has so – called commitment issues? and at the age of 20 never had a serious relationship?
So, when I saw that their was a blog out there about “hating men” I decided to check it out. I, just like the owner of this blog don’t hate men at all, in fact, “I wish I could find the right man.” My best friend just got into a serious relationship with a guy who we both went to school with and even though the guy she is seeing I personally don’t think is “right” for her, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t extremely happy for her. She too had her fair share of “losers” in the past.
I tell my close friends about all my experiences I have dating and most times they say, “when the right guy comes along you will know.” I just wish I knew when? I’m the kind of person who is very independent. When I know what I want I will do everything I can to get it. Sometimes in the past that has been my downfall, so now I am just going to let the pieces fall as they may and hope for the best. In the meantime I will enjoy spending time with my family and friends.
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Reading this is a perfect example to me of why women are so messed up in the head. The primary female motivation is to latch onto someone and take control of their life. This is the exact opposite of what nature would tell us to do in terms of survival instinct. The person who wrote this went on to ramble about how independent she is, despite the fact that she is lamenting loneliness and how sad she is being independent.
The world is a harsh, cold place. You need to be strong to make it on your own. Healthy men understand this concept. We are independent, we take care of ourselves. We don’t rely on welfare, spouses, parents, etc. for handouts. We take care of ourselves and we live our own lives.
Then this woman went on to ramble about not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings, but not wanting anyone to take her friendship for granted. I have no idea how someone could possibly write that. Men don’t want a woman’s friendship. Men want sex. We want a lot of it and we don’t want to cuddle afterwards. We desire to spread our seed to keep the world populated. We don’t want to be friends with people who want to latch onto us. Friendship is supposed to be mutualistic. I have a mutualistic friendship with the people I drink beer with and watch football with. We enjoy something but we don’t rely on each other to do it. If women would be cool and watch football, drink beer, and back me up in a fight (and actually have the ability to back me up in a fight) along with not whine about emotions or demand I talk to them all the time, hell the world would be awesome.
Unfortunately women desire things that are not only unfun, but are also unproductive. If they expect me to be a part of it, they better start picking up the check at the dinner table and asking me for sex after the date. They get too much. Fill out a draft card ladies, then complain about 25 cent paycheck difference. I’m tired of the stupidity.
First I would like to say it was man of you to fess’ up and sign your name as “anonymous.” Secondly, I enjoyed your comment – it was very well thought out and somewhat inaccurate. Sounds to me like you very well may be gay. Although you made it clear you want a girl who drinks beer and is manly enough to fight your battles. Hmmmm that sounds a bit hypocritically. And finding a girl that will beat up your enemies is not a girl you are looking for honey it’s a man. Somewhat unsure of what to think.
I’m assuming the reply to this (if you even have the nerve) will be “every girl assumes a guy is gay if they state their opinion.” Well I have your answer: Not True. But from your affirmative answer it sounds to me like you have relationship problems of your own. Hence why are you a man going onto a “I Hate Men” Site? You must have used the search engine for something…maybe someone is disliking you now? who knows.
Yes, I was venting – and a typical man would say “rambling,” but it got your attention didn’t it. I will agree with you, at 21 I have seen a lot of guys that just try to get into girls pants. And to your “clingyness” excerpt that you factored into my post is somewhat untrue at least for me. I go out frequently and have a good time with my friends. So if you were hoping I was some clingy, needy, whiny woman — very wrong, but I would hope that a guy I was in a relationship would want to be with me not just for the sex. If you think that’s something wrong to want than you have your own issues and are whining to me.
“Anonymous” I’ll be waiting for your reply if you are manly enough.
Let me tell you some
Hey Anonymous, this is for you. And just so you don’t get anything wrong about me, let me announce heterosexual credentials:
- I’m married (to a girl) and have two kids
- I love listening to hard rock and heavy metal music at very loud volumes
- I get an adrenaline rush when I lift
- I eat red meat
- I drank rivers of booze and did mountains of drugs before recovery
- I curse like a f#*kin sailor
….this is just to name a few things in case someone as ignorant as you wanted to see them….
Now that my credentials are in good order, I have something to say to you. First off, when you wanna post something like that, make sure you put your name on it. You just automatically labeled yourself spineless. Doing that is like entering the Special Olympics…you may be a champion, but you’re still retarded….
Secondly, Anonymous (hahaha), you’re a selfish, self-righteous chauvinist dickhead. You probably don’t have a job, you have a shitty life, shitty house and you probably don’t think your mom loves you. You have absolutely nothing better to do than go around to different sites and spit your sexist filth on blind eyes, either because you’re cynical or just bored. By the way, we’re all laughing at you right now.
“Unfortunately women desire things that are not only unfun, but are also unproductive.” This is just funny. It’s guys’ sole desire to do nothing! We desire to be left alone with a beer, a football game, and a Playboy mag….It may be fun in the short term, but is that really productive? Most women (except the ones you’ve met along the way) enjoy creating homes, having kids, being mothers, being wives….Guys hate that shit because we’re selfish, most women are not. You need to seriously grow up, grow a set, and be a man. Stop being so self-centered. You, Anonymous, are the exact reason why a site like this was created. I actually love this site because I love making fun of guys that are selfish pricks like you! A word of advice: Stop chasing around the fast, loose, big chested, unintelligent barflies. Drop the ignorance, drop the fear, and find an intelligent, independent, smokin hot girl to have a meaningful relationship with.
Just because they’re independent doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings, douchebag….Stop being a useless asshole with nothing better to than sit in your dark room and waste your hate on harmless websites.
Remarkable. As I read the male response to this item – the frustration – the unmet needs – they scream out as if he’s got his hand in a blender.
The ‘real man’ as it were is a provider and rarely single for very long. Having recently become one, I have met more high quality, nice people in two weeks than I have in years of ‘dating.’
Every man has two conflicting drives inside of him. One of those is consumed with desire and it is all about what he wants. The other is the ability to give freely emotionally – to be a true self-less provider.
My dear, you are looking for this provider and I can tell you right off the bat he is not spineless or feminine – however he will put your needs – in fact, the needs of you, your friends, his friends, his parents, your parents, etc. before his own. He is a servant king. And he’ll do so genuinely and with a smile on his face because he is one of those 5% or so of men who have realized that taking from a relationship divides the spoils, while giving multiplies… and also, there is a remarkable shift in perspective that comes from growing beyond your own needs.
You might already know some men in your life who are on the edge – the first step towards helping him get there (if you want to try it) is to ask him if what he wants will really make him happy. Dissolving the connection between the two is one of the keys to living a truly happy life…
The second step is to help him see that what he wants in life is not as important to others as what he does with his life – how his life touches other people and makes them better.
The third step is to simply state that we never get what we want in life exactly – and even if we do we are never satisfied with it. In other words, people can’t build their lives around desire.
A lot of women these days have been sucked into a similar trap of believing that having wants as strong as men, and basing their happiness on fulfilling desires like men – well that this is the way to female liberation. Nothing could be further from the truth. Some of the happiest women I know in the corporate world have what would be abysmal dating lives, but they are fulfilled by the time they give volunteering, being a part of their neighborhood, etc. For years I never understood why this was possible – as a guy, volunteering is for suckers… they don’t even get paid!
So the three steps above may also be good questions to ask yourself – as a means of getting back in touch with your natural feminine nuturing side. I can say quite frankly that when I see a woman who has these qualities, I want to shower her with love. Perhaps it is because I know that she will take that love and make it bigger? I’m not sure exactly.
But do look for these things and if you find a ‘real man’ out there – act quickly because they are not single long.
Grow up, “anonymous”.
@Chris: BRAVO!
You have the balls to tell that anonymous pussy the exact reason why this site was created!
@Anonymous: I have these words for you: GO FUCK YOURSELF, MISREPRESENTATIVE OF THE ENTIRE MALE GENDER!!!!!
Hey, anonymous, if you have the balls to respond to my comment, I’ll be waiting
In Anonymous defense he gives a pretty good perspective on what a lot of men out there are thinking. I hesitate to say it applies to a of majority of men as I am an eternal optimist and believe in the half glass theory. He is right in that men require three things to be happy: food, sleep, and sex. It’s the ones that realize that life is more than that and are ready to get into a relationship with the right person that extend themselves a bit further and compromise. If it’s not the right person they revert back to the three basics and it frustrates the HELL out of us women that unfortunately fall in love with them.
Yes I will admit at this time I am a bit bitter as I am in the process of breaking up with it with the person I thought I gave my heart to…twice! (Hence the reason I visited this web site) but Ladies you gotta know, if a man TRUELY loves you, is ready for a committed relationship, and you are the right person for them, they will bend over backwards for you and your happiness.
The hard part for us (women) is being strong enough in ourselves to take or break off a relationship that isn’t providing us with what we need.
If there’s one thing I would tell my daughters it would be, be strong enough to leave if he’s not proving his undying love for you….don’t stick around…if he’s a keeper and realizes that he can’t live without you….he’ll be back.
MEN ARE THE MOST INSENSITIVE BASTARD ASS CREEPS I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE. THEY ARE IMMATURE, HURTFUL, SPITEFUL AND T HINK WHO THE GOD DAM HELL THEY THINK THEY ARE! I AM HAPPY I DON’T HAVE ANYONE! I IDO NOT MISS ITHEM, OR WANTR T HEIR COMPANY. IUF YOU TRY TO BE NICE TOI THEM, THEY WILL GET NASTIER AND TRY TO DO SPITEFUL THINGS TO GET YOU MAD OR OHATE THEM EVEN MORE. THEY ARE NOT WORTH A PENNY AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED!! YOU MIGIHT AS WELL JUST CUT UP THEIR BODY PARTS OR SHOOT THEM, OR STAB THEM IMN THE BACK UNTIL THEY ARE NOT THE SAME TYUPE OF PERSON YOU ONCE KNEW. WHAT SATISFACTION I WOULD GET!!!
Invite a male friend to watch movies, forget about his appearance, and if you want it to be platonic tell him first. They aren’t all sex seeking maniacs, and if they are your friend they would probably move slowly and at a comfortable rate in the relationship.
You can’t expect a guy in his 20s to want to settle down to one woman. They are too young and sowing their wild oats at that age. As far as the friendship you have with this guy I would venture to say that he was only being your friend so he could get close to sleeping with you. And since you stuck to your guns and kept it platonic he finally had to come out and ask you for more than a friendship.
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As an
independent woman you’re gonna have a hell of time with men. If you truly want
to be a good wife, have kids, cater to him, do all the emotional work, overlook
his fooling around, and immerse yourself in the kids lives so you don’t have to
deal with your own, you’ll find “the one”. However, if you truly have
loftier goals and have a head on your shoulders it will be hell for you. Men
don’t like independence unless they want to you support them financially, even
then, they will need to control you in some way so you don’t wise up and ditch
their lazy ass. The rest of the male population requires you to need them,
which means tearing you down and making you fell less than, so you will stay
with them, which is really no different than the lazy ass except you don’t have
to make as much money. Don’t be fooled by thinking the financially dependent
guy treat you better and be faithful, he will cheat just as much if not more
then the others and still treat you like crap.
Men are not capable of the same kind of love a woman gives. You are an object,
regardless of your label (wife, boot call, whore… whatever). You’re age,
weight and level of servitude/ego stroke are what dictates love for a male. The
best part is when you get too old, gain weight, stop serving them to the level
they’re accustomed too, or when they simply get bored and find a new victim
they’ll leave you without regard for anyone including their precious children
you so dutifully bore them.
You are young, and if you are at all astute you will understand what I wrote
someday.