Heartbreak of the Cold Hearted

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I received this e-mail from a visitor on my site…

They all think I’m a pretty face without a heart. No matter what I do my heart gets yanked out, stepped on and thrown to the wolves. Today I vowed never to ever date another man again. Yes, it means I’ve turned to women. With women I can see heartbreak coming but with men, it just slams into me like ton of bricks and I’m left standing there angry, sad and broken.
No more. F**k them. Their loss.

I feel the need to respond.

For those of you who are new to the site, I am ‘a better woman’. I took over as the administrator of ihatemen.org in October 2007, and am trying to gear this site towards helping women to gain happiness…I just want it to be a fun site overall. A place where we can share our experiences, words of wisdom and of course laughter.

In regards to the e-mail:

First, men may see you as a pretty face without a heart because you are wearing that on your sleeve…if your heart has been hurt in the past, you may be making that more obvious than you think. Often after being hurt it is easier for us to act cold hearted rather than really dealing with what has hurt us. If we take the time to working through the pain, then we are able to become a stronger person.

Vowing never to date men every again is a cop out. I know nothing about dating women, but I do know that women can be just as conniving, manipulative, controlling, disloyal, and hurtful as men.

On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust WOMEN! – H.L. Mencken

I think that you first need to address the issues you have with yourself before you try to get into any relationship…whether it be with a man or a woman. I believe that if you are in touch with your own feelings and emotions, you will be better able to read the feelings and emotions of those around you, and in turn see heartbreak coming. And if you are in tune emotionally, and you & your partner are open and honest the possibility of heartbreak will greatly diminish.

  • Sylvia

    I have tried my best to be positive but i can’t take it no more.what’s the use of having a relationship with any of them when everybody knows before hand that nothing can stop men from wanting other women and cheating.wherever you go,they’re all the same…assholes.

  • Lindsey

    Telling that woman that vowing never to date men again is a cop-out is merely you judging her, which makes you a hypocrite for being the least bit irritated by her email. Vowing to never date men again makes a strong woman, those of you who need a man are only half a woman. Why the hell are you running a site called ihatemen.org if you’re going to rip apart every woman who is so sick of them that they don’t want to date them ever again? Men are shit, hands down. If you’re going to sympathize with men every time a woman talks about how she’s sick of their shit, stop running this site and hand it over to a strong woman who has the ‘balls’ to stand up and speak out against their abuse.

    I am proud to be yet another woman who will never date men again. My life will be loads better than yours ever will be by that fact alone. Stop judging your own fucking gender for being strong enough to go it without walking pieces of shit with flaccid dicks.

  • http://www.ihatemen.org a better woman

    Dear Lindsey,

    Firstly, I was not at all irritated by this e-mail, and I believed that I responded in a very rational and also helpful manner.

    Vowing to never date men does not make her a “strong woman”, if it is for the wrong reasons. I did not rip this woman apart, but rather tried to build her back up. I think your whole problem is that you are being narrowed minded…how can an upset and angered women get helpful advice from a biased person like you.

    I never suggested that this woman needed a man, and I suggested that she take time to find herself before she get into any relationship…maybe I need to refresh your memory:

    “I think that you first need to address the issues you have with yourself before you try to get into any relationship…whether it be with a man or a woman.”

    Not in any part of my post did I sympathize with men, or even suggest that this woman needed a man.

    I personally have the “balls” to run this site, and I think I do a great job at it. I have taken a stance not only to stand up for myself, but many other women over the years. I have felt this “abuse” you speak about first hand, and the only way to get out of it is to stand up for yourself…something I did over three years ago.

    I was physically and mentally abused by a man that I truly loved with all of my heart. I did not go and jump into relationships with women because I had one man treat me like shit. I stood up against him, and was able to make it on my own. Over the past three years while I was not in any relationships, I worked on helping myself, and becoming the women I have always wanted to be.

    There is nothing wrong with being nice, and there is a difference between putting people down and being honest. This is me being straight up honest: “Women can be just as conniving, manipulative, controlling, disloyal, and hurtful as men.”

    I am not putting women down, those characteristics are not gender specific (that is what you need to understand), they are unique to every individual. This being stated, I have in no way stereotyped either gender. Can men be dicks, jerks, assholes…absolutely. Can women be bitches…without a doubt. All I’m saying is that it is up to you what you want to be. I want to be the nice, strong, happy, optimistic, loving life…person. It appears to me that not only do you want to be a “man hater”, but you want every other women to be one as well…seems a little closed minded to me.

  • nadia

    Men are assholes. I was with one and it was great then over night he decided he didn’t love me anymore and totally ignored me. Jackass

  • Sharon

    My father, a psychologist, began beating me when I was 14. My hatred of men is tempered by the fact that my mother instigated and watched the beatings and refused to ever console me or apologize afterwards. I attribute my sanity to aliens, not god. Perhaps, it’s the same thing to you, but I assure you, it is not the same. A person influenced by aliens is hypersensitive, super-intelligent, and aware of everything taking place on the earth. A god-influenced person is in isolation and knows nothing about life outside of a TV reality. God-fearing people are so inacapable of knowing others that they believe TV portrays reality.
    I have thousands of pages to write, but I want to tell you about my most recent experience.
    I moved into this house with three men: a white Army officer, an Indian law student, and a half-black high school graduate working two jobs. After a month, everyone left for the X-mas holiday.
    I never had more than a twenty minute conversation with the law student. The rest were grunts and nods.
    For four months I was the maid of the house. These swine did absolutely nothing. When I said NO MORE, I was told that we would discuss it. Discuss whether I was the maid or not? I paid the exact same rent as these three men. WTF? WTF? WTF? I am older than all of them. I am less physically able to work than all of them. I have a heart murmur, yet these men decided that I needed to clean up after them, while they never gave a thought to anything. OMG! OMG! You cannot even begin to imagine what these men did. I thought I lived in psycho hell with women. Oh no. Women will act crazy when they are trying to fuck you up. Men act like they have no idea they have just slammed the microwave door for the hundreth time at 5AM. They will slam that mfer until eternity and claim ignorance. People are crazy, but men believe that every woman is a domestic slave. They believe they can just capture a woman and then go out and do their thing. These men are so chivalrous that they would do anything to avoid changing a roll of toilet paper. Men are garbage. Men are worthless parasites. What are they good for? All three of my male roommates treated me like their maid. All of them would have fucked me at a moment’s notice. OMG. Men are amoral cesspools, exploiters, oppressors, users.

  • Kathy

    I’ve got a friend thats 48 & hes so cold hearted, hes so rude.. Just cause I had corrected him on some one that he said was my friend & I disagreed with him.. I wasen’t rude with him I Just don’t like this woman he keeps mentionening to me..& I Don’t understand why he keeps bringing her up when ever I’m with him.. so I’ve decided to not ever talk to him & I will not ever email him again cause of his rudeness & him bein col hearted..

  • Anna Philips

    I am with one fellow who is so rude and cold. One thing that irritates me is his cold behavior which he never corrected inspite of me telling him not to be so. This ass has this cold rude behavior with all his folks and not only to me. What should i do.

  • Wilson

    I am more than likely the very “Pig” that causes the arctic wind that stings your soul. I also was in a relationship where I cared for the person beyond belief. I tried to do about everything I could to make the relationship work and it did for about 1.5 years. To be quite honest it was wonderful for a good part of that time. My partner had been involved in drugs and alcohol in the past, as well as some other bad decisions. After multiple dealings with the legal issues that kept popping up and the choice of friends my partner associated with, I started ignoring and isolating myself. Before long I was being told “Being around you is like walking on a floor covered with potato-chips”. The rebellion that pounded me was beyond my belief, I couldn’t believe that someone that said “I love you” could do such things. I could honestly write a book on the drama that started pounding at me, but I tried to hold my ground and say “That didn’t hurt, but I am going to try and fix this”. I finally ended the relationship due to having no choice, but not after taking enough damage that trust will be a hard thing for me to find again. 4 days after we broke up, my ex got married to a homeless drug dealer and pretty much passed all the things that I had given and worked for to the relationship that she now had. Her whole motive to getting married to him was “He doesn’t complain about anything that I do”. The Tag watch was sold and smoked in a pipe within the first month along with many other things that I hoped would be cherished someday.

    Men can be Jealous Idiots and can’t just let things rest. I made sure to point out the faults to the point that a restraining order was requested for stalking and raw fear of what I might do. In my mind, I was thinking “If it’s drama you want, check this out”.

    To make a long story short, my previous relationship has now been over for a year and wow would I love to have some company within life. The bad part is that a year hasn’t even scratched the anger that I still possess. How could I ever keep from letting my damaged feelings pop up the first time something similar happens to my previous relation. I often wonder what the triggers could possibly be, maybe even a kiss. How long will the damages caused by trying to hold onto a relationship that was doomed affect future relations? What about the fear of love and caring being turned on you as a weapon. I can’t think of a single thing that hurts more than someone you love and care for turning against you in an all-out offense. I was hit at 30 MPH on a bicycle and spent many days in the hospital/rehab and that was like having a pimple compared to the damages I felt from my ex. This is the worst part, I didn’t just stand there and take it, I delt it right back. Talk about inviting more of it. I now look at the outcome. I am single and looking with hose/land/car/investments and the ex is homeless trying to dodge arrest for drugs.
    I posted on plentyoffish.com and pretty much spelled out in the comments about myself that I am a destroyed man that still wants love…any suckers out there. I doubt this will be posted, but quite often there is a sword with a sharp edge on the front and back.

  • Maw

    Valerie may have had a few screws loose, but boy did she hit the nail on the head!

    “The male is completely egocentric, trapped inside himself, incapable of empathizing or identifying with others, or love, friendship, affection of tenderness. He is a completely isolated unit, incapable of rapport with anyone. His responses are entirely visceral, not cerebral; his intelligence is a mere tool in the services of his drives and needs; he is incapable of mental passion, mental interaction; he can’t relate to anything other than his own physical sensations. He is a half-dead, unresponsive lump, incapable of giving or receiving pleasure or happiness; consequently, he is at best an utter bore, an inoffensive blob, since only those capable of absorption in others can be charming. He is trapped in a twilight zone halfway between humans and apes, and is far worse off than the apes because, unlike the apes, he is capable of a large array of negative feelings — hate, jealousy, contempt, disgust, guilt, shame, doubt — and moreover, he is aware of what he is and what he isn’t.”

    - excerpt from Valerie Solanas’ “Scum Manifesto”

  • mr anonymous lol

    OMG Valerie’s comment about men.

    What a load of bullshit.

    I think some women just end up devaluing their criteria to degrade themselves.

    I know, as a man, that I am the type who certainly needs a kick up my backside now and again to get me going. I am classic ADD so its essential to boot me one quite often, In fact, right now, I need a boot to get me downstairs to eeeeeeeeaatttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Some are caveman, users , scum, but its all psychological and you wont ever change them unless you crush them and dominate them physically. Good luck with that.

    I would say just put men through a probation period and do play mind games on them to see how they respond. If they are mature and capable potential lovers/husbands you will find out in good time I hope.
    Kick their asss!!!!!1

  • mr anonymous lol

    OMG Valerie’s comment about men.

    What a load of bullshit.

    I think some women just end up devaluing their criteria to degrade themselves.

    I know, as a man, that I am the type who certainly needs a kick up my backside now and again to get me going. I am classic ADD so its essential to boot me one quite often, In fact, right now, I need a boot to get me downstairs to eeeeeeeeaatttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Some are caveman, users , scum, but its all psychological and you wont ever change them unless you crush them and dominate them physically. Good luck with that.

    I would say just put men through a probation period and do play mind games on them to see how they respond. If they are mature and capable potential lovers/husbands you will find out in good time I hope.
    Kick their asss!!

  • http://whyaremensocoldhearted mindee

    from what i have excperienced in my life with guys they just dont give a fuk about a womans feeliings they never take a woman seriously when shes angry when the guy did something wrong they always have a way of telling us that we are cute when we get angry and laugh at us like its a joke they just dont see things the way we see it they are quick to jump to conclusions when we do something they dont like they excpect us to forgive them but they cant forgive us TAKE IT FROM ME MEN ARE ALL THE SAME DEEP DOWN INSIDE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN YES MEN ARE ALL THE SAME!!!!!!!!!

  • Romantic Man

    All some of us men want is a life partner. A best friend instead of an adversary.
    The three C’s are very important. Communication, Cooperation and Compromise and a fourth, Compatability. My divorce was my wife hid massive debt incurred by her, even when I was working two jobs to take care of existing debt already known of. My friend’s marriage was ended after he discovered multiple affairs by her while he was faithfull. You see, there are as many evil women as there are A-hole, so to speak men. Don’t talk to the hand me, and I won’t you. Most of you consider us a paycheck and a bio dildo. You flirt MORE than we do and you know it. All men are NOT the same. YOU are the heartbreakers because you know another guy coming down the pike would do a poodle in a skirt. Some of us WON”T!

  • anonymous

    guy treated me like dirt they call me names. threading me,try to beat me up ,bullying me,hit me, reject me.block me from emailing them. ignore me,
    avoid me.guys are cold heated with no conscience no moral they hurt my feelings
    walk away with out care in the world, they tell me i am not good enough to be seen with them.they take no interest in me at all not even in my welfare.
    guys are cold hearted jerks,with no feeling at all unless its between there legs.
    they shallow and vain,selfish , arrogant self righteous, stubborn ,they don,t listen they don,t care,they disloyal,they lie ,they create fear .they treated me like Pisces of dirt not wroth knowing.

  • Deborah

    In my opinion, I absolutely hate men with a passion. I think they are a bunch of bastards and a piece of shit!! When they find out that you like them, they do everything to turn you off and can be very hurtffyul. I am, no doubt, desparate. I am very happy, independent and do not need a man. I can live alone and be happy, free and do whatever I want which is the way I prefer to be. Men on the other hand can be a biunch of dicks and assholes. I have had alot of bad luck kwith men, have been hurt many many times and have absolute NO LUCK meeting anyone. I don’t seem to care at this stage in my life. Men are insensitive, hurtful, inconsiderate and very nasty! malechauvaunistic bastards! i abolustely HATE MEN!!!! ay timne

  • annonymous

    Men are ALL THE SAME! I don’t care what anybody says. They all suck, insensitive and a bunch of dick headed piecie of oSHIT!

  • Deborah

    In my opin ion, women DO NOT NEED A MAN

  • Deborah

    In my opinion. if you are trying to open up or be friendly to a man that you are attract4ed to and like, threy will go out of their way and try their best to ignore you om every sense of the word!. Even if you are very pretty, intelligent, have a good figure and have changed it doesn’t matter to them at all! They are just a bunch of cold hearted bastards, inconsiderate and a a bunch of shitfaced idiots!! They think who the HELL they think they are!! In all respects they aren;’t worth a shitting dime a dozen!! It is just as well you don’t have anything to do with them. Personally, I wouldn’t ev en bother to try to open up or talk to them at ALL!! They are worth ignoring,!! Men ar all the SAME worthless creatures that just exist on this earth just waiting for someone to FUCK them . No good men exist on this earth as far as I am concerned! You might as well kick the shit out of them, men bash them, curse them out, give them dirty looks. Guys are cold hearted jerks,with no feeling at all unless its between there legs.
    They are all shallow and vain,selfish , arrogant self righteous, stubborn ,they don,t listen they don,t care,they are disloyal, they lie ,they create fear .they are worth dirt not worth knowing!! I wouldn’t bother to give them the time of the day!!. Men are very incapable of mental passion, mental interaction; he can’t relate to anything other than his own physical sensations. He is a half-dead, unresponsive lump and a piece of SHIT!!!!!!

  • Deborah

    Men are a real piece of SHIT!!! I HATE MEN; they are worth ignoring!! I have absolutely no LUCK AT ALL OF WHATSOEVER! You might as well just have women friends and stay away from the men completely since they are all NO GOOD ANYWAY!!

  • jessica

    you r absolutley right, the more nice and good u are to them the more horrid they;ll treat you, guys are dumbasses and the reason for nearly all the bull in the world today with there unratonal thinking and stupid actions, your right its better to ignore them and have less dramatic life.

  • richard ludwig

    ill call ALL of YOUR bluffs – how about these apples – BOTH men and women CUT THE SHIT AND THE MIND GAMES AND GET DOWN TO THE BRASS TACKS AND THE POINT – and do total truth with each other and say what is REALLY on your mind

  • richard ludwig

    I SEE NO HARM IN BEING BLUNT AND DOING TOTAL TRUTH

  • richard ludwig

    IF ALL OF YOU BITCHES JUST DID TOTAL TRUTH AND CUT THE SHIT AND THE MIND GAMES THEN MEN WOULD RESPECT YOU MORE – IT IS NO WONDER WHY MEN IGNORE YOU ALL – IT IS BECAUSE OF THE MIND GAMES ALL YOU BITCHES PLAY ON MEN THAT MAKE YOU ALL NOT WORTH FUCKING!!!!!!!!!!

  • richard ludwig

    AND IF YOU DO NOT LIKE MY POINT OF VIEW – THAT IS JUST TOO FUCKING BAD – I GOT MY MIND FUCKED WITH BY THOSE FUCKING MIND GAMES AND BECAUSE OF IT ALL I DO NOT THINK I CAN TRUST ANY WOMAN!!

    HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT BITTER PILL SHOVED RIGHT DOWN YOUR NECK???

  • richard ludwig

    AND ANOTHER THING – PICKING ON MEN JUST BECAUSE HIS COCK SIZE IS NOT UP TO YOUR LIKINGS – THAT IS ALSO TOO FUCKING BAD – MEN ALSO HAVE A WAY OUT – IT IS CALLED DUMPING YOU FOR MENTAL ABUSE BECAUSE PICKING ON HIS COCK IS CONSIDERED AS ABUSE! WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF MEN PICKED ON AND INSULTED YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU DID NOT SHAVE YOUR PUSSY? – I THINK NOT!!!

  • richard ludwig

    PICKING ON MEN BECAUSE OF HIS COCK SIZE IS CONSIDERED TO BE ABUSE BECAUSE IT IS A PART OF HIM HE CAN DO ABSOLUTLY NOTHING ABOUT – GET IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING THICK HEADS – SIZE DOES NOT MATTER AND IT NEVER DID!!!!

  • SniperWolf

    Can someone please redirect Richard to the misogyny website? His constant use of caps lock is hurting my eyes.

  • richard ludwig

    DO NOT LIKE MY USING ALL CAPS – TOUGH SHIT BITCH – ILL USE THEM WHEN EVER I FUCKING DAMN WELL PLEASE :D .

  • sriikant

    women are stupid evil creatures whose fav timepass is mind games becuz they dont have an outlet for their aggresiveness, men are completely honest and uncomplicated

  • QueenBee

    I HATE MEN… WHY WOULD YOU CALL A WOMEN A BITCH???? WHY? PLEASE TELL ME WHY?? IF U THINK SHE IS A BITCH WHAT MAKES YOUR MOTHER??

    I TRUELY HATE THEM, THEY LIE, CHEAT, PLAY WITH YOUR HEART & FEELINGS, IN THE END THEY ARE REALLY NOT WORTH IT.
    YOU PUT UR HEART AND SOUL IN TO LOVING SOMEONE IN THE END THEY WALK OVER YOU LIKE YOUR DOG SHIT..
    NO MATTER HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE OR HOW AMAZING YOUR BODY IS, NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY OR PERSONALITY U HAVE.. A MAN WILL STLL LIE, CHAET, PLAY WITH YOU

    LADIES LETS MAKE A STAND… FUCK MEN.. FUCK MEN, FUCK THEM!!!!!!!!!!! BUNCH OF DOGS

  • Real Woman, but Hopelessly Pissed

    I hate men. I was once an innocent little girl, pure of heart until I encountered them. Some like little children to touch or look at in wrong ways. My 1st kissign boyfriend at age 12 lett me for my best friend. Next several years all they wanted was to get into my pants…would do anything, tell me anything just for that. I gave in once and he told everyone at school and more came like hungry dogs. I married one, left everything I knew to be with him and he turns out to be an addict. Next one? A foreigner. He was just cold and abusive and fucked with his words, I was angry with him for 3 years, but he eventually apologized after he saw me succeed. Next came my child’s father…untrustworthy, verbally & physically abusive, lying cheating, coniving, deadbeat asshole bastard…full of game. He had to go…So I raise the child alone. Next, another rude liar, then another jive assed liar, Now? (I’m 46) I get another… a foreigner. We are together for 5 years. I love him. We get pregnant and he emotionally abandons me and my 1st child while I’m pregnant. I give the fuck up! I didn’t want to make such a generalized conclusion but MEN DO SUCK! I don’t get the hype and they suck on a societal level. The farther you get from the US, the worse they get. Men are unfair, insensitive, selfish, liars, cheaters, dogs, rapists, child molesters, serial killers, warmongers, abandon women with children, expect you to eat all of their shit, and wouldn’t eat the same off of no one… and have no business running anything as major as the world because they SUCK at it. When i see couples that lookhappy, it’s either because its the beginning other relationship or someone is eating a ton of shit. It is a lie. Cinderella is a lie, Snow White is a whore and Prince Charming is a myth. The smartest of them is quite shallow and if a woman is fucked up, I always feel that the root cause is a man. A man will fuck a woman who loves him even when he knows he has HIV. Many men are bitches about commitment on too large a proportion and too many are gay, bi, and otherwise unavailalbe…and I believe the bible was written by a man and taken out of proportion be a man. The institution of marriage was also authored by a man and it sucks! Any woman who eats disrespect off of a man can KISS MY ASS!! All you geisha bitches and submissive bitches who eat shit off of a man can KISS MY BUTT! You just make it harder for those of us who want to be respected and enable assholes to continue to be assholes. If you are the parent of a boy, he will be an asshole because society will allow him to be and for those who parent daughters, I know why you are so protective…

  • A God Fearing Commitment Man

    Unfortunately the kind of men who will treat you right are the men you don’t want:

    1) Men who are “bitches about commitment on too large a proportion.” want to give you their heart, but need to safeguard it. Your head games, moodswings, and lack of honesty show us we can’t depend on you to value our feelings, so most of us who date have learned not to have any. If a man is invested emotionally he needs commitment, if he doesn’t seek commitment then he doesn’t care and has learned to be heartless and insensitive. Also men know how horny men are and perceive women capable of easily dumping them and finding another guy with much greater ease then men finding a woman. Its ironic how women are so hard on themselves to be pretty, but it’s not as important to the men who care, it’s impossible to please the ones who will hurt them, and the other kind of men are so horny they will fuck anything that moves.

    2) The God fearing man who is “isolated from the world.” He is extremely moral, lawful, loyal, and always tries to do the right thing. He is isolated because when you are like this you see most of the world as evil. If they perceive you to not be moral they will not trust you. If he isn’t moral then hes a hypocrit and thats common with church goers. The deeply spiritual man looks for truth and tends to find happy relationships only with women who are deep and spiritual like himself.

    3) The 30 year old virgin. Usually a geek or nerd, he has likely gone his whole life without love, and when he finds it he will give it his best shot. You assume he is scum because women don’t want him, but he would rather be alone then become the confident manipulative man that sleeps around and break hearts. Get to know his values. If he’ll have sex with you right away then he is bad news, if not then he may want a shot at love. This type of person is also likely to be very intellectual and desire mentally stimulating interactions.

    NOW here are the types of men YOU are attracted too:

    1) The Player: Confident and attractive, he scores consistently and is popular with the ladies. He never lets anything in life bring him down, so he probably isn’t very emotional. He is an expert at manipulation and love is a game to him. If it doesn’t work he could care less, he’ll find someone else faster then you can leave him. He’s probably banging someone else while hes with you!

    2) The Executive: He works all the time, gives you everything, and consciously or unconsciously feels you take it for granted. He’ll be charming and devoted in the beginning, then he’ll see that most or all of the effort was his and when he stops you grow apart. He may feel a sense of power coming from pride in his work He likely has little or no time to reflect and is prone to repressed feelings. He is often dull and boring, typical, and not intellectual. He might do anything to climb the corporate ladder including deception, bad salesmanship, and cheating. It is easy for him to become secretive and egotistical.

    3) The Typical Guy: It’s pigeonholed in our society that men do not have emotions. Men certainly don’t want to show it with each other like women do, and many in fact aren’t or believe this themselves. Insensitive, pigheaded, abusive, power hungry, you better believe it. Typical people have typical relationships that typically work out badly.

    4) The Foreigner: I’m not saying all foreigners are bad or anything like that, but you should learn about their culture and their values. If they come from a culture where men rule completely then don’t expect a whole lot of consideration. The world has had a long and ugly history because of self righteous domineering men and the weak women who put up with them. If there are language barriers or difficulties relating to each other then expect hardships. You really do need communication, commitment, cooperation, compatibility, creativity, and compromise.

    FINALLY if you had a wonderful man who suddenly betrayed you then you either grew apart, he was not talking to you, but silently keeping his issues to himself until he finally bursts, you didn’t know him as well as you thought, or you didn’t keep track of how hes changing. Loving someone more then they love you gives them power over you and if they see they can get away with stuff they just might. Again it comes down to their emotions, their beliefs, and their values. Without these they are truly capable of anything, wicked or otherwise.

    I don’t know why I’m here. I know that most of you are so deeply grieved you will always see it everywhere and attract more of it. If you aren’t brave enough to learn, change, and set aside your stereotype conclusion of all men, then by all means do avoid us like the plague, because with that level of victim consciousness and belief you are sure to attract more and more of the same.

  • A God Fearing Commitment Man

    So to reiterate when you say you hate all men or all men are scum you are really referring to all the types men you are willing to date or that are available to you. Your viewpoint clearly comes from victim consciousness and has no intellectual basis other then a world that has gone horribly wrong from our problems as a whole. It completely ignores all of the wonderful people that are living happy lives. It is comforting only in a negative way.

    Whether you ever trust another man or not, understand if you keep living in your pain you have let him win, you have let him turn you into this. Your negativity WILL reinforce itself as like attracts like and you thoughts shape your reality.

    The bravest thing anyone can really do is forgive and move on. How often are the things we should do the last thing in the world we want to? Yeah, life is like that. All we can do is learn from our mistakes, even if for some of us that does mean never trusting a man again.

  • Heartbroken

    When a human being is born with a dick that is he what he will be. When a human being is born with a pussy that is what she will be. When this no longer applies, neither will dick and pussy. Welcome to the transgender age.

  • Real Woman, but Hopelessly Pissed

    Re: The bravest thing anyone can really do is forgive and move on.

    The bravest thing anyone can do is to just tell the fucking truth. Your defining me without knowing anything about me is shallow. I once said a group prayer that addressed Father/Mother God and a few of the guys started laughing… because God is a man… Right?

    I AM a fucking victim and because men think with more logic than emotion he would say that it has no intellectual basis…It’s NOT supposed to have intellectual basis. It’s a MORAL basis! RIGHT AND WRONG!

    At 46 years of age, this has nothing to do with unproven theories of attracting the negative. I DON’T BELIEVE IN THAT SHIT AS I DIDN’T ATTRACT IT AS A CHILD. Like cold germs, it’s just there…deceptive as hell. The bottom line is that we live in a society that mostly condones a man’s bad behavior towards women with little persecution… socially nor otherwise… unless he has physically hit or raped or murdered. The more subtle injuries are not included but are just as bad. In some places even rape and murder aren’t really persecuted hard enough and the women will even be blamed for it. The whole concept is wrong and unfair and while it’s just life to many, it’s still wrong!

    I am sick and tired of being blamed as a woman for falling for or taking on a man who ends up not being good. Men do not come with manuals and the most honest of them admit that men ARE fucking DOGS! When does the campaign begin to burden him with the responsibility? Where is the Alpha males who tell a man he is wrong?!

    A woman can forgive and move on and then get another German Shepherd, or a Beagle or Pit Bull. Just another breed…but still a dog non the less. There is a common fucked up thread that runs through ALL men.

    A man can kill a woman with fucked up words and behaviors without even hitting her! Or a man can make a woman feel like a million bucks when his consciousness is on straight.

    Even the idea of not fucking until marriage, is mostly held against a woman. Do you really think that a woman doesn’t want to get laid? Why does that have to make her a whore? or Loose? If I had followed that in my lifetime, I would have gone 21 years without and I am sure I would have regretted it.

    Men have mood swings that can’t even be accounted for by harmones. They just have the freedom to do that. The world is a safer place for men than it is women. Rationalize all you want to but there is something very very wrong with this concept of men and it’s mostly NOT a woman’s fault!

    As a very well traveled person, I can attest tot he fact that Disrespect has no nationality. It’s an internationally known concept that doesn’t need a language to be recognized. Everyone knows what it is.

    All the rules about how do deal with love are in a man’s favor and there are so many of them to no one can really assemble all of them. My negativity has been re-enforced wit nothing but experience. This shit is so confusing,you can’t even know what a good man looks like. To me? Mr or Ms Right is someone whose faults you can tolerate. Well, I haven’t found anything tolerable in a man and the sad thing is that I do not like women…not like that. I do not chase men either. In every instance that I have taken on a man, he approached me first. Every single one and then someone will tell me that maybe I should try approaching men. sigh… With abandoned children and women comes permanent pain. Men ARE assholes and they SUCK!

  • Real Woman, but Hopelessly Pissed

    As long as a woman’s integrity is in place with a man ALL men are supposed to treat her right. It is expected! That way, she has no justification for getting angry! Step correct!!!

    Stop lying! Stop leading one! Stop cheating! Stop being wishy-washy! Step up to the plate! Don’t have children if you don’t want them! If you do, pay the price to raise them to be decent human beings! Stop trying to have your cake and eating it too. Stop being rude and disrespectful! Get therapy! Get an education! Get a fucking job! Apologize when you are wrong! Stop the reverse psychology! Think about the BIG picture instead of the SELFISH one. Show that you are capable of being a man! Be trustworthy! Stop playing games. Stop blaming women! Stop hitting women! Stop showing up late! Stop!! Have some fucking integrity to match that of a good woman who wants to partner with you. Stop being cowards. Stop acting like we are all so interchangeable! All you will get in return is a better woman. Stop blaming a woman for not knowing when a man is full of shit. They don’t teach that shit in school.
    Wishful thinking that will never happen…

  • Deborah

    Men are worth stabbin ggin the back! I don’t care how I sound. Men really pisss mem off to no oend. thney really can get a women extremnely mad!!! I haive no remore or mercy for a man who is insensitive, hurtful or just plain ASSHOLE! Tthey can drop dead for all I care..

  • Cindyd

    We say they are stupid ass holes, but we fall for their shit!
    My answer is ‘NO dumbdick’ from here on out!

    If I want a lay then I’ll take it, nothing more. I can change my own breakers in my breaker box, fix my plumbing, the lawnmower and pay my bills. There’s no one to argue with about it either. They are all pervs, who under the ‘niceness’ ………..really want what’s under your skirt, your best friend’s skirt, your sister’s skirt, oh yea, and your neighbors skirt too. Even the 80 yr old codger across the street who I’ve tried to be nice to since his wife of 50 yrs died, propositioned me to take a trip with him. I thought of him as the respectful grandpa I never had…….until then. He ruined that peception……FUCKER!

  • Alice

    my husband of 13 years threw me out of the house i took my kids and i am staying with my aunt and if my asshole magnet is on i sort of picked up a new guy.i know i am not supposed to do that but i was lonely and he too proved to be a bigger asshole than my husband.i fucking hate all men.

  • Coontrp

    and i’m sure you take absolutly no resposibility for whatever it is that happened. good luck with your hatered hopfully it will keep you warm.

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