‘Going Dutch’ to the Fair
I was so excited to go the county fair, mainly for all the great homemade food, but I also enjoy looking at the crafts and the farm animals.
I went to the fair with a guy I’ve been hanging out with for about a month now. I really didn’t expect to be spending any money, as he had asked me to do something with him, but my expectations were wrong.
When we arrived at the fair he was already complaining about paying to park, so I offered to pay for that. He did pay my admission which was kind of him, but that’s where the kindness ended.
As we entered the dirt lot, he looked upset, and expressed his concern about his car getting dirty (my first thought: “r u kidding me”), but I maintained my sweetness (I really am a sweetheart, this is part of my problem…i am just too nice). “Aww, well you can just wash your car later, right?” He did not respond. (That’s the other thing, I felt like I was pulling teeth the entire way there just to have a conversation with him. All he could do is complain about how long it was taking to get there…well maybe if you were able to carry on a conversation with me and have fun on the way up, time would have seemed to fly…your loss.)
Upon entering the fair, we both had food on our minds, unfortunately he did not like anything that I did. As I said I go for the homemade food, and I avoid all the flashy concession stands that offer food from a vat of grease. He said he was a healthy eater, but he ended up eating some of the most fattening and quite honestly the most unoriginal food you can get from a fair. I on the other hand, chose a very delicious beef sandwich carved right off the side of a cow cooking over a fire. Yum.
After we finished eating we walked around and looked at a lot of different things (well actually we just walked around a lot), we did not really go to any stands…I actually felt like we were wandering aimlessly, which I hate because I like to have a game plan for everything.
I am an organized woman and I hate to waste time. My plan for the night was get my beef sandwich, find homemade pumpkin pie or pumpkin ice cream, maybe a funnel cake, see the farm animals, and check out the craft stands, maybe buy pumpkins to carve together another day, and of course watch the fireworks…
It was obvious from the beginning of my date, that my plan would most likely get thrown out the window. He was no help when I wanted to find any of the stands. I don’t know if he was overwhelmed or what, but he just had that deer in headlights thing going on all night. He did not want to see the farm animals, had no interest in crafts, and at that point I didn’t even bring up the idea of carving pumpkins because I probably would have ended up stabbing myself if I had to go through another grueling night like this one. (HELP!)
I finally found an ice cream stand that I liked, so I got a cone of ice cream from there. He had already had a milkshake earlier and said that he did not want anything. I offered him a taste of my ice cream and he took a great bite out of it (so gross).
I was just disgusted, and he seemed in a hurry to leave so we ended up leaving even before the fireworks…he wanted to go home and watch football. (If football is that important to you don’t make plans on a night that it is on TV. I enjoy football too, so if you want to watch it I won’t get mad if you plan around it. I have to add, it wasn’t even his team that was playing, and he didn’t have money on it, it was just another game…)
On the way out I stopped to use the restroom and had him hold my ice cream, of course he ate more of it while I was in there. He didn’t even offer to pay for the freakin’ thing when I got it, but sure you can eat it I didn’t want it. Don’t give the little girl any of her ice cream, sure you can eat it, go pack on more blubber for winter. Wow…it can get worse.
On the ride home he just kept making funny noises and poking me. It was the most immature thing I experienced in a while. I asked him if he had tourette’s. He just laughed…I was serious.
Then a song I really like came on the radio (Colors by Crossfade), and I asked him if he like it and if I could turn it up. He said he didn’t like it and kept it turned down low. He said that when I was driving I could control the radio…oh, but when Guns n’ Roses came on he had to turn the damn thing up to 45. (Are you stuck in the 80′s…then he went on to tell me that Axle Rose, and Charles Manson inspires him…now there are some great role model if I ever needed one…please.) He saw my disgust and went on to say, “Well who inspires you?” I said, “I don’t know, my mom, Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly…people that actually did something good in their life.” I think this is where the conversation ended on the car ride home, or I just zoned out. Now I was the one that was feeling like it was taking forever to get somewhere…HOME.
Then I started to think about all my asshole boyfriends that were so much better than this guy. How I had so much more fun with them. How I had so much more in common with them. How much I loved spending time with him…
Our night ended oddly, and my night ended with me thinking about the one person that I have been trying not to think about so much.
No related posts.
So why did you bring a pig to the fair? Weren’t there enough animals?
I’ve been taking dating more as a discipline for about 4 year now. I can see where this guy is coming from, but he really has a lot to learn.
For closure reasons, here’s a couple of things I noticed.
Most guys don’t make dates for an actual activity. And I’ll admitt I don’t either, I take the first few dates as more of a ‘making friends time’. But he was taking you there, theroretically to get to know you and let you become comfortable in his precence, but he fucked that up pretty well.
The whole ice-cream eating technique was more of a fun teasing technique. Yet he really did that from the wrong angle. I personally, say, if a chick is eating chips, I’ll say ‘Hey check that out!’ and point, nic a chip, and when she looks around she’ll see me taking a bite. If a guy does this when the girl doesn’t like them, its not cool. Seriously.
The whole car thing was quite sad. Only something that should be used as a joke, and only if the guy can over-emphasise the drama so it actually is funny, and only if chick is already comfortable with his precence.
But a few things I gotta point out. Beef sandwiches no matter how fresh aren’t original
Try to focus more on having fun rather than having an itinery or events.
Most guys in the world would lick a girls boots for the chance to pay for her dinner. This is not cool
.
I think women need to ease off their expectations of a guy paying. And if he does pay, offer to pay for the next. This isn’t stereotypical, but personally I don’t believe in buying a woman’s time unless she’s my accountant.
Sometimes I’ll pay just for politeness or a treat, but not in a huge ‘OMG I’M PAYING’ scene, and I don’t trade a payed dinner for sex
. If a guy makes a scene, leave, its behaviour that must be punished.
If you’re looking for a more, evolved man, I’d suggest lounges, cocktail bars or places with classy wine. Guys with taste don’t just want beer, beer, beer, beer, beer like the man you’ll find in a pub.
ROFL at this man’s attitude.
That’s not a man, its a kid who never learned how to even be generous to his friends, let alone his “convenience woman friend”
I think you need to get a little bit tougher lol. Not too tough though, you gotta be feminine but confident, not butch. Don’t lose your cute aspect.
Scott makes good points. I suppose the saying would be “you won’t find an above average man in an average, lowest common denominator location” ie pub, bar, cheap place.
I think most people who go to pubs do have a certain mentality, men and women alike.
Of course, if you are on a budget what can you do?
Try paying for everything. I dated a guy that would ask me out and never offer to pay. It got to the point where I stopped bringing my purse and our “dates” only involved driving around in his car after that. He never even offered to buy me a soda! Cheap-o!!
I have since stopped dating bc men that drink beer, wine, soda, water or any other liquid are all the same…jerks.
I’m going back to the other side. I never had that much trouble there. As far as I’m concerned about who pays: who does the asking pays!
I’m in complete agreement on the “whoever does the asking” pays. In this day and age when women all want equality I think it’s only fair. But to act in the manner that this jerk did is completely un-forgivable. Why even bother wasting your time? Please don’t take some excuse from him and go out with him again…..ya know men are like children and will push us as far as we allow.
Typical, guys now a days are really cheap. If they expect to take a girl out, why don't they mentally prepare BEFORE the date. What idiots…
Hey, atleast we’re making some progress. Men are best to never learn anything from women, except how to be cheap.
This is simple. Whoever EATS pays, whoever bowls pays, whoever watches movies pays. (say a woman walks into the turkey hill, and the cashier recommends some cookies for sale. Woman thinks cool. Free cookies cuz the cashier asked if i’d be interested – that’s pretty much the “logic” behind who asks pays.
But nobody ever explained that one – not even by example. Some cheapo woman who damn well knows most men demand a woman go out with him decides one day to say, “hey…he asked, so that means…yeah.” And it caught on.)
The ONLY reason why men paying is cuz women couldnt EARN money. Ya want to be treated as a fucking adult, start acting like one. Pay for shit, (kids dont have money) dont cry like a little kid, and dont get scared so easily over everything and dont expect to get away with stuff just cuz ya a kid/woman. Do you think me being a man, and smarter than woman…well, say a woman asked me out. Do you think i think that means meal ticket? No, cuz asking someone out and MONEY are two different fucking things. One is an offer and the other is ya know…needing money to do things.
If i JUST ask a woman to take a simple walk with me, does that mean i have to buy her a pair of sneakers just because i asked, and a question about doing something now means money? She HAS sneakers i bet (just like she also has money) but i STILL have to buy her a fucking pair of extra sneakers for our walk date huh just cuz i asked right?
Use examples bitches so ppl finally understand the “whoever (most likely man by default unless a woman is SO confidently slutty.) asks pays” logic. No, just saying “it’s the right thing to do” just doesn’t cut it.
I second that motion.
Hazmatty is the type of man who should be castrated. He’s complaining like a lil’ pussy about having to spend a few bucks, but in the same breath he says if a woman pays she’s “SO confidently slutty.” Wtf? Did I understand your dumbass correctly? You make no sense and I’m sick of men labeling women ‘sluts’, ‘whores’, etc. when men are the biggest ‘whores’ on the planet!
If a guy asks out a girl (especially for a first date), he should pay. Period. If he’s a good guy, he would have no problem doing that. I wouldn’t feel right having a man pay for me all the time though. My ex and I used to go to the movies a lot. Sometimes he would pay and other times, I would.
The problem is when you know the cheap bastard is trying to get over on you, that’s what pisses me off.