And The Beat Goes On… and on… and on….

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Yeh, so what’s the deal?! I seem to keep having repeat weekends here. A different night, new bar, many many miles away from my normal bars, and yet the inevitable truth follows me. I must have a neon sign that only ‘taken’ guys can see. Even the friend I’m with is different! But, ok, I’ll tell my story, although it doesn’t seem to ever change. I go out with a friend of mine, Paul, to here a band (I love going out to dance). So we’re there for a little while, just kind of hanging out, scoping the crowd. There’s this guy standing near me that decides to introduce himself. We’ll call him ‘Steve’. So Steve is kind of on the quiet side but we seem to hit it off little. I hang out with him for the next hour or so at the bar, just hanging out, enjoying the music. (No dancing. He doesn’t dance. :( …. ) The end of the night approaches, Paul is drunk off his ass. He totally blew his chances of getting the bartenders number when he yelled at her because the keg was kicked and she wouldn’t sell the bottles for the same price. To get him back (hell hath no furry like a woman scorned, you know) she cuts him off. I had to laugh! I’ve seen Paul drink before. He has NEVER raised his voice to anyone! But then again, he’s never been cut off…

But on with my story, Steve and I are hanging out talking all night, laughing. We even exchanged numbers and I invited him to hang out with a bunch of us the following night. It’s the end of the night, Paul just got finished arguing with the bartender and Steve decides to tell me about his girlfriend… um…. Yeh, that’s right. He just spent the night trying to impress and pick me up and then tells me about the girl he’s living with… and their 2 kids! I decide to be polite but change my body language and it’s soon time to leave.

Fast forward to the following night. We are all at our destination for the night. I go to the counter to order some water (I’m the DD for the night) and who walks up to me but Steve. He still wanted to hang out with my friends and I. He wants to get to know me better…. lol… ok, so I play polite, introduce him to all the friends I was with, etc. but then he just sits there quiet all night. Whatever…

After the bar, we all go for breakfast. He wasn’t invited but Steve is following us out the door. But by the time we all got outside, he was no longer with us. We go for breakfast and are now on our way back to my place to crash for the night. It is now almost 3:30 am. My phone rings… guess who…. I don’t answer. He hangs up and calls back, this time leaving a message. About 2 minutes pass and he calls yet a 3rd time. Talk about desperate! We get to my house and pass out. When we get up around noon, I listen to his message from the night before. “I’m in kind of a tight spot here. If you get this before you go to bed, PLEASE call me back. I have nowhere to sleep tonight.” Yeh right! He thought that’d work? What the hell is wrong with men?! Do I LOOK that stupid? Was I born yesterday? Hell no! Anyhow, he decides to call me again in the afternoon but leaves no message.

So I’m in class today, telling one of my girlfriends about ‘Steve’. She has a good laugh because she has seen the pattern of guys that approach me. After a few questions, we come to realize that she knows him! The situation with Steve and his girlfriend is that they have been together for years, unhappily but still…. She says if he was telling the truth about having nowhere to stay, it was probably because his gf had her other bf over at the house. To give a summary of their relationship for the past I don’t know how long… They are together but not really. They live together, even sleep in the same bed but they’re not totally together. They each are dating others as they please and their 2 kids have ‘happened’ since their new lifestyle situation has taken root. So God even knows who’s kids they are! Holy Shit!

So anyhow, I am left with 2 questions… Is there anyone that still places any value on a faithful, honest, long lasting relationship? And … Are there any COMPLETELY SINGLE good guys left or have they all past away 100 years ago? I don’t require much, honesty, integrity, respect, open communication, affection, commitment. Open doors, give a compliment, take me camping, humor me with my truck fetish, give me a run for my money when it comes to struggles. I don’t want someone to LET me win at anything. I’m seriously considering moving to a convent or becoming a lesbian! Holy Shit!

  • http://www.junkiesradio4.com Jeff Smoker

    Not all men are this way, some of us actually care, are sensitive, and have more in mind than just sex. Your site’s title espouses hate, hatred of men, and in my mind, there are too many outspoken Oprah’s in the world already.

    You want a good man? Start looking where you aren’t looking now. We are here, and we might not be buff movie star quality, but we are quality in ways that can’t be measured.

  • dallas

    Ok, Jeff… First…One of my friends bought this site for me as a joke when I was in a bad relationship and seemed to be upset everyday. They thought it would either be therapy to vent or funny and make me laugh. Since I’m really not the bitching type, I tried to make it a humorous site. If you look around, there are a few joks and cartoons I posted. There are also a few posts from friends of mine that obviously have quite a bit of anger… But overall, I laugh while I’m thinking of content. My co-workers and friends get a kick out of my ‘love life’, or whatever you may call it, so I thought I’d share some of my stories… with the hopes that others would do the same. I do not concider this site 100% ‘hatred’.
    Also, while I may not agree with everything she does, I think very highly of Oprah. She is a one of a kind, self-propelled, self-made person. Some of the things Oprah has written have very deep meaning and wisdom into the choices we make and who we are, as both men and women. Why don’t you check out a few of them. Her “O Magazine” usually has useful info. I really enjoyed the book called “Live your best Life” from 2005. Why don’t you check a few of these things out? I’d really like to hear your thoughts on a specific topic instead of just general things. I went to your site. It’s a self help site… Oprah, I would think, might have a bit to say with the upbringing she had and the challenges she has overcome in every job she has held and in society. A black woman in her times accomplishing the things she has… I would rather admire someone for their individual qualities than for fitting in the mold that society would more easily accept… No?
    But I digress. I love a good conversation! Please do some research into her background and send another message with your thoughts.

  • http://www.salarycap.net crazyhorse

    Good story. I am happy to see you went out BOTH nights. Lost my number, eh? Sounds like a fun class, women bitching about men. Sign me up for some of that nonsense.

  • http://www.theshermanshow.com Mike

    GIVE ME A BREAK.
    Most women piss and moan about what they aren’t getting. But when you DO go out of your way to please them it’s never enough. All of the good men are deand and/or gone?

    OH PLEASE

    Try putting out a little more and pleasing me and PERHAPS I’ll try and make your day as well. WE (men) have to pay for everything, WE (men) have to be polite to you, WE (men) have to make sure YOU (women) are happy.

    Stop whining and grow up!

  • dallas

    “I’m seriously considering moving to a convent or becoming a lesbian!”

    Do it, that’s just one less whiny female for us oppressive patriarchs to have to deal with in the world.

  • sabe

    Not all guys are bad. What I’ve found out after a few bad relationships is that if you keep finding yourself with a bad guy or alone, maybe it’s because you keep going for the same kind of guy. Relationships are a compromise, too. You have to do just as much to please them as they do for you.

  • Jessica

    Wow listin to these stupid men here. I bet you anything they’re single. Why ARE they on this site anyway? Anyways.. I just wanted to let you know that I find your blogs inspiring.. lol I may just be 19 years old, but believe it or not i’ve had my share of awful experience with these so called “men”. From lying about their age, to married men coming on to me. Pathetic, I tell you.

  • ihateallmen

    After wasting one year of my life visiting bars I have discovered that bars, men, and women just do not mix, period. I can’t get that one year of my life back but instead I use my time on myself. Why waste your very short time on earth with stupid men in bars? It really isn’t worth it.

  • copykatparis

    Men, you want a woman? Try listening to her. No, I mean *really* listening to her. The way you listen to your buddy. Yeah, that’s right. Just as if it’s your best friend talking. LISTEN. Just like you’re listening to a human being. And don’t just pretend to listen. REALLY listen. Interact. You’ll be mighty surprised by the results. Because I’d be willing to bet 95% of men simply don’t listen to women, dismiss what they’re saying, feel it’s not as important as their own opinion, and so on. So women feel like they’re being treated like shit, as less-than-human simply because they’re not male. (FUCK THAT PONY, I say!!!) So don’t try to “please” her (how do you know what she likes if you don’t LISTEN to her?), don’t try to sweet-talk her, don’t try any of those stupid How To Meet A Chick idiocies. Just listen. Simple, really. Why are so many men utterly incapable of this?

  • cameo

    yea..people dont raise men the way a men should be raised anymore. ive just realized that good old fashion guys are going extinct.
    {I’m seriously considering moving to a convent or becoming a lesbian! Holy Shit!I’m seriously considering moving to a convent or becoming a lesbian! Holy Shit!}
    trust me i have those thoughts too

  • Tiffanyscott10

    men have lost manners over the years and instead of taking you out and then taking you home they take you out and want sex only.

  • broseph

    >changed my body language
    speak up, also there are many mannerly men, just look in the right places.

  • tony

    hmm, well, I can honestly say that there are some single men who are respectful. I can even give myself as an example. I try to be honest, respectful and open (sure sometimes I goof up, but that’s not too often lol), I don’t really compliment people that often or out of the blue though,,,I think most people would find it odd if I just started complimenting them for no reason. I usually do open doors for others, and get off my seat on the bus for old, pregnant and impaired people..or generally anyone who looks like they need a seat more than I do. I tend to stick to my opinions unless given good reason that I am wrong and try to keep the arguments civilized at the same time, giving into an argument while not fully convince the other person’s point is correct is damn silly.

    Most of the things on your list are just things I find are something everyone should have when interacting with each other, just general politeness that should be shown to everyone, not only someone you want a relationship with.

    If you can’t find any guy who is a generally polite person then I suggest going to convent, from what I hear, lesbians tend to be the same as guys.

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