Of Course! It’s a Holiday!

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Sometimes I wonder why I even try. After a while you have been hurt so many times that you find it harder and harder to convince yourself to try again. But then, unless you want to spend the rest of your life miserable and alone, you have to have at least a small amount of hope that somewhere, perhaps, there really is just one good guy left just for you. Well f’ that theory out the window. Time and time again, I am faced with this decision. This past time was no different. I had plenty of arguements of ‘why should i not let myself fall again’ but this last one had a good sales pitch. Truth or not, his speech was exactly what I’ve been looking for inside but thought perhaps my standards were to high… until he kept preaching it over and over, making me think he really meant it. So I finally give in, go tto know him and fall for him. Great! Wonderful! Yeh! Sure, there were problems but nothing worth having comes that easily… so I hear. But last night, 2 days before Valentine’s Day, he shows up at my door, dressed up and smelling good to break up with me.? 2 days before Valentine’s Day! My ‘stuff’ I left at his house is in his truck in a grocery bag. Would I rather him lie or drag it on? NO! NO! NO! But please! Someone explain to me how it is I am not supposed to feel bitter, hurt, insulted… I’m tired of hearing how wonderful I am. I’d be a great ‘catch’ for any guy. I’m the perfect female in so many ways. But all of these statements lead to my utter disappointment in the end. And to make it worse, when I think the relationship has potential, I have them meet and get to know my daughter…. What the hell is she going threw as time and time again, she has to loose the man in her life? How do I explain why mom is crying in the middle of the night while she sleeps? Why I can’t give her the family she and I both want. Give me one reason I should keep trying, when the compliments come as they are walking out the door. But let’s be friends…. lol

  • http://www.salarycap.net crazyhorse

    First of all, its you, not them. Men can smell clingy and desperate. I have no answers for you except life sucks and eventually you will find your slave..er..man.

  • inthesameboat

    I have to say that I can relate very much to your situation. I don’t think I can give you any advice, apart from just to be yourself and the right one will come along (eventually). I’m almost 30, and still looking in all the wrong places! Maybe a time out will do me good. As for crazyhorse’s comment, all I can say to that, maybe you regonize yourself in her comment ??

  • Snoop-Diggity-DANG-D

    “…my standards were to high…”

    False. Your standards are too low.
    The reason all your relationships fail is because you men give everything they want with no commitment. Once you decide you like a man, you start cooking for him, cleaning for him and then you take him to bed!

    What more could a man want? And why in the world should he commit to you? He’s already getting everything he wants!

    You want a ‘good’ man who will commit to you? Be a little harder to “get”. He’ll respect you & you’ll respect yourself.

  • Stella

    I have nothing much to add other than ignore the first comment. Wanting commitment is not the same as wanting a slave… that person is obviously another man who falls into one of the various shit bins. I love how many men feel the need to post on here as if they’ll ever come close to even *matching* the number of women posting the truth.

  • Caz

    Isn’t it funny how we women can’t even be allowed to bitch about men in peace on our own website, without them interfering and trying to ruin things. They just can’t stand it can they, the thought of us women getting together to slag them off. To all you men out there – GO TO HELL!!! YOU’RE NOT NEEDED, FOR ANYTHING!

  • Andrea

    Stop looking. A man isn’t going to do anything for or your child. First off, the kid isn’t his, he doesn’t care. In many cases even if the kid is his, he still doesn’t care. If you want to have sex, have discreet one-nighters, do not get attached. They are all full of crap and will tell you anything when they’re “feeling it for you” after that they disappear. They are predators by nature, they enjoy the chase and once they have you, they’re done. It’s simply a time-line issue. Some guys will stick around for a few months for the sex, some only a few weeks.

    If you want to date (if there is such a thing anymore), do not pay for anything, and make sure he takes you out. No freebies – ever. Take them for whatever you can get, even if you’re fortunate enough to be in wedded bliss, don’t.

  • Rebecca

    Sounds familiar indeed. “You are so wonderful and amazing” …but still he’s dumping you. I hate that phrase. It’s just a stupid lie, to prevent that he’ll come off as a stupid, selfish jerk. If I would be so wonderful and amazing, you wouldn’t even consider dumping me!

    Better leave the men for what they are for a while – and focus on your daughter. Teach her to be a strong, independent woman that can take care of herself. Be a good example for her. If she sees her mother as an independent person, who doesn’t need a man to make her happy, she will take that image of women with her to the future, and it will prevent her from wasting time with disrespectful jerks. That’s the image you want to give to your daughter. Not the image that women are powerless beings depending on a man’s approval.

    So stop dating for a while, and focus on yourself and your kid. If you meet a man in the future, make a deal with yourself that you don’t introduce him to your daughter within the first year of the relationship. If he’s a good guy, he will understand that. Being confronted with many different men is not good for your daughter, and I’m sure that if a man is sincere with you, he will only admire and respect you for that. It shows that you do not only respect yourself and your daughter, but that you’re also handling relationships in a mature and wise way. Believe me: if he’s good, he will only appreciate you for being so responsible.

    Not one of my ex-boyfriends has ever met my son. First of all because the relationship never lasted long enough for that, but second of all because I thought my son was not their business. It’s MY child, not theirs. I’m not looking for a father figure. He already has a father and it’s a good one. He doesn’t need a substitute daddy or something.
    My love life is something that should be seperated from my life as a mother. I never felt sincere enough about a relationship to introduce the man to my son. Maybe it will be different once I have a good, steady relationship – but then I will still wait for at least 6 to 12 months before he gets to meet my son.

    My son shouldn’t become the victim of the man his mother dates. He shouldn’t be influenced by that, or get wrong views about relationships between men and women. Before a man has shown that he’s sincere, honest, respectful, responsible and serious with me, he doesn’t get to meet my child. Period.

  • Anonymous

    It is really strange when someone acts very into you and then suddenly dumps you. I’ve had it happen once or twice. All I can think of is that they don’t know how to be single/alone and need a woman at all times, so they just use you and hang around you til they find something that they perceive as better. Did he give you a reason or anything like that? I don’t know what else to say other than I can understand why you’re hurt… some people are really strange and obviously have no idea what they want!

  • Timpi29

    lmao!!! Sounds exactly like me… Glad to know im not the only one…