Lazy, Self-Centered, Egotistical MEN

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In all my years of dating hell, not once have I found a man that is willing to give of himself for ANYONE, let alone his woman.

I’m a self-reliant, self-sufficient woman that really doesn’t NEED a man to take care of her. All I desire is a companion, a best friend, someone who is there to laugh with me when I’m happy and be a strong shoulder to cry on when I need one. But all I seem to find are men who want ME to take care of THEM – emotionally, financially and in every other way.

When did the tides turn? When did this paradoxical shift in the way things should be happen? When did women take ALL the responsibility for running a household? When did it become ok for men to sit around all day, doing nothing, paying for nothing, eating everything in site and giving absolutely nothing in return? It bothers me to the point that I get sick to my stomach every time I think about it.

  • Naomi

    You are absolutely correct! It makes me feel so much better to know that there are other women out there who know exactly how I feel. You’re right, what happened to the traditional role of man as the provider? Why do men feel it’s OK to not only abandon their role as provider but to also take on the role of burden? You’re right, they will drain you emotionally and financially and still bitch about it. And they do eat everything in sight, LOL!

  • Jack

    Would you rather go back to your traditional role as a woman? You want to be a housewife? Unable to vote? Dependent on the men you hate?

    You deserve a donkey punch to the mouth.

  • Trisha

    Well, Jack just proves what *most* men are like by his hostile statements. Actually, I personally would like to be a traditional wife as long as I had the *right* man. Sadly, there are no good men left. I don’t vote because I am a conscientious objector, but not a pacifist. Even so, all politicians are liars and will do the opposite of what you voted them in for.

    I’m just wondering why you didn’t delete his ugly post – maybe to prove a point?

  • aj

    I thought this once. I had a bitter divorce from a man I took care of and pampered and still wasn’t appreciated. After that I encountered men who wanted to take care of me so they could have the control in the relationship. I gave up, I thought all men were selfish. Then I decided to just live my life for me and make myself happy. I am fortunate to say that I have since met someone who I feel is my equal in every way. From the beginning we both agreed that we were friends first and foremost. We did not want to be part of the typical dysfunctional relationships that we see everyday. So we made ourselves and each other a promise that we would not allow ourselves to be lost to the other. I support myself and control my own life. I do things for him because I want to, not because he expects me to. We both feel that we need to be our own person to be able to have and build a good relationship. We don’t take advantage of each other nor do we expect anything from the other. I call him my spiritual partner, I have never had this kind of relationship, but I know I will never settle for anything less again. Once I changed my attitude, I changed my life. I have no bitterness towards men, I realize that I am responsible for my own reactions and feelings, and working through that old belief system is the hardest part. I wish you well on your journey.

  • PetulantPoetess

    Would you rather go back to your traditional role as a woman? You want to be a housewife? Unable to vote? Dependent on the men you hate?

    You deserve a donkey punch to the mouth.

    erm u mean the man-made role for women? She never implied any of the above.

    and you deserve a dick on your ass. Or a dildo. Whichever you prefer =)

  • Kat

    Naomi, you said everything I wanted to say: they become a burden and still bitch about everything!

  • Hopeless Romantic

    I have the same experiences as the “President” listed above. But I need to add that many of the men are emotionally dead, social athiests. I tried to blame myself by saying that I am not giving the right men a chance, but I cannot be with someone that I do not feel strongly about.

    I have come to the conclustion at 45 (never been married) that it will just not happen for me and I am coming to grips with it. I am terribly saddened by this realization.

  • womanhater

    when all women can stop bitching and thinking there “power” is always mysteriously vanishing, that is the day women might just be happy. Take a god damn chill pill and take action in your life. Its your fault you married the man..and it would be totally different if women didn’t bitch about being housewifes 50 years ago. Take one approach and stick with it. Stop complaining about the rights you just acquired and take action in your life.

    love,
    womanhater
    P.S. stop bitchin’

  • me

    womanhater is just proving our point that men suck

  • Angela Renee

    Womanhater, your comment is the most uninspired pile of trash I’ve read in a while. I’d like to point out that none of the women on this blog complained about any of the rights they are free to exercise. What they did complain about was having to completely support the “men” (read: boys) in their lives. That’s perfectly reasonable, because any relationship where one person is running the household, paying the bills, and emotionally supporting their partner is dysfunctional. I’m sure if you were in that kind of relationship with a woman you would bitch no end (you’d probably bitch about all women in the world being selfish while you were at it). It’s called a one-sided relationship, google it.

  • http://n/a sherl

    Your response is a collection of incoherent, unrelated irrelevance, Womanhater.
    Sounds like u r emasculated, to me [rebelling against a partner?]
    Many men are attracted to strong women, then when they get them they try to dominate them. And when they cannot- aggression can escalate, from words to violence. These men are so drawn to strong women, [mommy complex?] but threatened by them. And we women fall into these relationships b/c we have that ‘nesting’ urge. Well, until we feel our parasitic partners have used- us- all- up.
    Yeah read: boys.
    We end up resenting these guys and the inequity. They resent us since we illuminate how much stronger we are than they.

  • MCD

    Amen to AJ’s message and experience, very wise words.

  • Krista

    I agree with AJ as well. I finally learned that you shouldn’t depend on anyone to make you happy, you have to be happy first and everything else is a bonus.

  • AC

    Bless you all! I’m 60 YO and it never got better. I’m so sick of having to question what I did to draw all sorts of maladjusted men. They like to blame the mothers, but sadly for certain it was their absentee fathers, whether if self-centered doing their own thing, cheating on their spouse, work-aholics or having abondoned their responsibilties all together! There were in those so-called traditional days far too many with aborations versus that which we took to be normal from TV shows, FI Leave it to Beaver! Yeah, now they leave it all to the one with the beaver, we all agree!

    Good luck to all, and do not do what I have done, beat myself up for what I thought was my mistake, getting involved. The come in all colors, shapes and from all professions.

    I’m wondering if it is that we are strong survivors, independent that we are in some way resented!

    My ex-mother-in-law gave me a sign to hang, the substance of which was what was a hint as to what was to come:

    Woman was made from the rib of man to be held tight by his side to be protected and cherished by him.

    Amen!

  • Victoria

    The last guy I dated was a self centered child. He loved me because I was a strong women. But, what he really wanted was a mother, not a soul mate, friend and lover. All he wanted from me was money, food, clothes and entertainment. But he did nothing for me but get on my nerves. He is 46 years old and lives with his father. And his father treats him like a little boy. Men are no longer men, but are users.

    They are a waste of time!

  • Justin

    To the original poster… I’m a man and I have to say I agree with you. It’s one of the reasons that I prefer women (and I don’t just mean for personal relationships). I don’t know how (or why) so many women put up with living with a man. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that women’s inclination to pick out a mate, is absolutely horrible… sorry to say, but it’s true. My mother is a perfect example… but it certainly doesn’t stop there. I wish it would change to better mankind as a whole, but I wouldn’t bank on it any time soon.

    As for me personally, I find that men are attracted to me for some odd reason… I mean, to be their new-found buddy. EXCEPT when any women around happen to show attention to me as well, then things change. Then the men start to get on my case and trash talk me behind my back, even though I do nothing to them. MORONS.

    Women’s natural inclination as to what attracts them is flawed, while men’s attitudes are flawed. So I trust neither.

  • http://www.att.net Romanceluvdesire

    This is all good comments even for the one who like to give a donkey kick,
    because it goes to show us all that he is self-centered as well. He wants help
    because he is on this sight. So bashing /sarcasm is usually what self-
    centered, arrogand boys do because they are cowards. Cowards in so many
    ways. When they get jealous about your achievements, strengenths and
    goals, something is very wrong. They don’t think about because of their fears it
    would keep you both from being blessed. And they would be apart of your life
    if they weren’t the way they are. Most of these men want attention from both
    genders, see me. And they think everybody loves them and I have had his so-
    called friends to tell me he ain’t sh… ! But as women we see something in these men that we believe can change over time.

    Bless you ladies but don’t get off your square stay focused!

  • sicko136

    im gonna be a nice, fair, equal-minded saint and point out that we all fucking suck

    the dramatic bitchy “i hate men” is obviously what tempts them to make blatant asshole comments, nothing but a cycle of hostility. fucking idiots leaking genital scum all over the place.

    being a man, i can safely (not that i give a shit) say that i also hate “men” (assuming theyre all egotistical douchebags with pathetic egos who can never better themselves since theyre too afraid of being wrong, which sooo so many are) and completely agree with your post. my roommate is probably more of an extreme case than whoever youre dealing with- i’ve gone from just not caring about and ignoring him, to actually having sadistic desires and wanting to dominate him and figuratively drink his blood.

    why is it fun to troll bitches and mess with their emotions? i dunno, maybe you like it.

  • renae

    I have given up on relationships with men. It’s a waste of time and money.
    I am single now, and happy .
    Too many years of being lied to , cheated on, kicked around, slammed into walls for stupid reasons have finally got to me, and after being single for 4 years, I am now a perfect widow . There might be some good men out there, but I haven’t encountered one for myself. All I can say is , if you have a loving man, better be thankful. Most in todays world are only looking for a handout
    If you want health problems , just keep a man around in your life.

  • ilovemen.notboys

    My x boyfriend is pathetic its been 6 months and now he wants to move into my house, but the kicker is….he can’t cook, clean, wash or dry clothes, he is so lazy…I am a single mother of a 9 year old working 2 jobs and going to school 3days a week and the stress of working, school, and my son is the reason its over. I do NOT want my son like that…I’m here to set an example for my son and I don’t want my son to ever think or feel that women take care of men. NO we women take care and nurture children, the elderly, and the disabled!!! And until you little boys stop being 40 year old babies and become real men instead of couch cushions with mouths, then maybe you can help little boys turn into men instead of sitting on your butt waiting for dinner, waiting for your women, waiting for a job, waiting for the game, lol waiting for your other lazy boys to bash women. Well you boys keep waiting…because we left. NEXT….

  • Jason

    An actual “common means for common ends” society really doesn’t exist–the Amish perhaps. What we do have is a bully culture. We fight and compete for scholarships, jobs, and every little thing. If we get out of line, we get put in a tiny cell for perhaps 80 years. What we have now is not natural–our work is not natural. Much of what we have is brand new. None of you man-haters here are blaming a system that is essentially toxic for us all right now. (For example: A man’s home is his castle–it always was that way and was his to defend. Now, there needs to be approval after approval after approval after approval for that to happen. Too many men are getting kicked from burrow to brush pile. There’s not a species that can live naturally and well like this. Find a man that owns his castle out right in the place he wants to be while believing in the system he is in and you will probably find the type of man some of you are or were looking for.)

    Things changed when men found out that they had to furiously compete with women for what they figured was guaranteed theirs, like the last million plus years. What man wants to compete with women in the first place? Things get messed up in a hurry, don’t they!?!?! New dynamics after insanity that and eventually we have this ridiculous site as the result of all our efforts. Bravo to each and every one. Now, as Einstein said, we really need to get back to simplifying things again in every way. Obviously what we have is just far too complex for our own good.

  • Another mad woman

    I agree with you and totally get what yopur saying. Wish I didn’t but men can be so stupid most of the time. It’s ok for them to do what they want when they want but God forbid we don’t check in all the time like they are our parents. I mean really…men are usually just asses not good for a whole lot. I go to school full time and have a wonderful son who really is a great boy. I come home to cook and clean oh and get bitched at for an imaginary boyfriend and by the time get to go to bed we have battled for hours about nothing while he has relaxed, not showered, and played games all day. I mean really/…what is wrong with men. Sure there are some good ones but obviously not enough of them.

  • Jennygen7

    Men really have no sense about them it’s true. If it were not for me my boyfriend would be homeless under a bridge right now. They expect us to hold a full time job, go to school, clean, cook, and do the laundry while they play video games or go to the gym. I can not believe that I have to ask my boyfriend to take out the trash even if it is stinking up the whole apartment. I have to write him notes he says. Oh and God forbid there be a man with decent credit. I swear that everything nice we get its because I have decent credit and he has none at all! He didn’t even have a credit card and I had to teach him how to pay it. I finally gave up and I now do everythin including the both our finances.

  • jordan

    they are like many other mammals on earth. seeking to mate and then gallop away. men don’t care about the things we as women do. they could go forever without cleaning a toilet or sink, wear the same pants day after day, the list is endless. there would be NO civilization were it not for women. this is just the glaring truth of life on planet earth.

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