Men vs Women ‘healing time’ after a breakup

I remember a study a few years back that noted that men and women have far differing ‘healing time’ after a breakup, something like a 4:1 ratio… for every week that goes by for a man, it’s equal to a month going by for a women. Meaning that a women would forget and start dating within a short period of time (relatively speaking) compared to a man. Is this accurate? I’m having a hard time finding that exact study.

From what I recall from the report (again it’s been a few years). Women actually mentally ‘check out’ of a relationship well before the actual breakup with the man not ‘checked out’ until well after the fact (could be years).

Is this accurate in your opinion? …

I found the article

Research conducted at Carnegie Mellon University suggests that women adjust better to the end of a relationship because they’ve already given consideration to the possibility of a breakup, whereas men are typically unprepared for it.

http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/coping_with_a_breakup/

I Cannot Ever Be Romantically Or Even Sexually Involved

So I don’t really know why, but I really hate tge idea of “falling in love.” Maybe its because love makes people vulnerable and weak, especially us women. Men are like wolves in sheep’s clothing, they will take advantage of that and show what they are really all about.

I hate to feel this way about guys. I wish there was a man out there for me. But there isn’t, because too many are them are all the same: sex-driven, vile, wild, animalistic, vultures who prey on the weak and vulnerable like a slab of meat on a barbecue.

I guess I was meant to live a solitary existence away from men. Maybe I can have male friends, but nothing more than that.

That’s just the way things must be.

Plus the shear thought of having sex with anyone really and truly disgusts me. Alot of women do not think of the repercussions and consequences of opening their legs and getting laid. They not only allow a man to violate their space. They reveal every insecurity, secret, and goodie to that man. No man is worthy of that in my world…..NONE! Cause they will just throw you away like a big old heap of trash.

This post was submitted by despiserofmen.

How could I not hate men?

I have been getting in trouble for my harsh criticisms of men, male culture, and patriarchy for a long time now. I’ve been told I’m just being bitter, that I’m blaming the group for the actions of a few, that I’M the one who’s sexist.

But the truth is I have absolutely zero reason to trust men and every reason to want them the fuck away from me.

I really used to feel guilty, after all its not the men of today who are at fault for the way things are!!! (They just keep it going) And, of course, some men are really great, like…uh…Ghandi!!! (who forced women to have enemas)

I also felt like a stereotype. I mean, who’s never heard of the man-hating lesbian?

I’m so fucking over that now. Angry man-hating lesbians exist because we have every reason to hate men.

When you hear a misogynist/mra babble about how to fix the “women problem” it’s all about violence and force. That is how men solve problems: they rape, torture, abuse, and murder and when women speak out they just rape and torture and abuse and murder us some more.

Maybe I am a misandrist, but I have no desire for any of that. I have no desire to enslave all men (although I do think it would at least be an improvement to the way our society is now). I have no desire to kill off all men (although, again, a world without men would be utopian). And I certainly have no desire to rape anyone. This is what sets misandry apart from misogyny.

What I want is for men to leave me and my sister’s IN PEACE.

I’m not attracted to men, I don’t date men, I don’t choose male friends and yet still, somehow, their domination stands in my life. Somehow I’m still expected to live as though I exist for them.

So how’d I get to be so angry? It’s ’cause I was raped right? Of course I was. Most women are at least sexually abused (if not raped) by men. It’s so common it’s “normal.”

My abuse at the hands of men literally started when I was an infant and the whole fucking sex has been finding ways to keep that wound open and festering since.

This isn’t about someone being mean and hurting my feelings. This isn’t about someone rejecting my advances. This isn’t about someone forcing me to financially support my own children.

This is about years of sexual, physical, and mental abuse at the hands and words of men in a culture that glorifies violence against women.

So why shouldn’t I hate men? What good reason is there to give men the benefit of the doubt? And, above all, why should I give a flying fuck about the troubles men face when it’s so clear that the men who complain give less than a shit about women?

This post was submitted by Mewtnute.

An idea I’ve had for awhile.

I would love to put together an one year long experiment.

Take a few voluntary female superiority folks and have them go through some of the physical and mental tests I’ve had to live through in my rather short 30 (soon to be 31 year) existence.

To see how they would make it.

This post was submitted by Pfletch83.

There is only one man in the world

I hate men. And I have some pretty good reasons why. Let’s start from the beginning. My own father abandoned me when I was two and has NEVER acted like a real father to me. He was a deadbeat – never paid his child support. And when his driver’s license was taken from him for it, he called me and my little sister up and acted like the victim to get us to pressure our mother to fix it. He shamefully manipulated his kids. After I turned 8, I started having regular visits with him. He’d promise that when my sister and I would come to visit, he’d do all kinds of fun stuff with us. He said we would go swimming and we’d just have such a BLAST. (I absolutely hate that word now). He promised we’d go to Six Flags and stuff like that. But when we were there in the summer, he would treat us like maids and babysitters. We spent our summers cleaning his house, doing his laundry, fetching him a beer, and changing his other kids’ diapers. He spend his time in bars or laying out in the sun perfecting his tan in his tiny, pink Speedo.
So I was raised by a single mother who was never there. She worked long hours and then partied in the evenings and weekends. There were men in and out of her life. It was like she picked up a new guy from a bar every week. Some of them were abusive towards me. As a teenager, I had no supervision whatsoever.

So I got pregnant at 15. I married that guy and for 5 years put up with more abuse than you could ever imagine. Sexually, physically, and psychologically. Evidence is now coming to light that he abused our child too. I had no idea as I was the one who worked while he sat at home “babysitting” i.e. drinking beer and watching sports. Then he abandoned us and I found out that while we were married, he cheated on me and knocked the girl up. Not once. But TWICE.
My second husband cheated on me at every opportunity. I’m sure it was because I’d gotten fat. We were married six years and then he left me for another woman.

My third husband was an old boyfriend. We originally started dating when we were 13 so there was a lot of nostalgia. I had had enough with men at this point so I thought, my old friend would be perfect. He would never hurt me. Wrong-o. He was almost as bad as my first husband. We were married 9 months because the abuse had gotten so bad.
It was December 6, 2010 that he was arrested for domestic abuse. The next day, I filed for a protection order. Shortly after, I filed for divorce. I simply could not be with someone who would hurt me like that. Especially after he knew all that I’d been through.

And then my savior came along. My current husband was like no man I’d ever met before. He was kind, gentle, and compassionate. He was a geek in all the right ways. He comforted me and took care of me. He promised he’d never hurt me. And I believed him. And I fell so hard in love with him. I was an atheist at the time and then converted to his religion because I believed in us so much. I accepted his proposal of marriage and even took out my IUD so we could have a child together (I had sworn I would never have a child again after the disaster with my first child.)
So we got married and immediately got pregnant with our honeymoon baby. She was the most wonderful, most precious thing that had ever happened to me. But the pregnancy was a difficult one. Not just because it was physically painful but because my husband had become very distant with me. I just thought it was because he was a first-time father and was nervous. When I finally confronted him about it, he said he had a pornography addiction and that he was no longer in love with me. I didn’t take the pornography thing seriously because just like most people in our culture, it’s not considered a bad thing. It’s considered very normal for men to look at it. But I freaked out about him not being in love with me anymore. How could this happen so quickly in our marriage? But I got over it and went into denial. He also didn’t show much interest in our daughter. He didn’t have much patience either. So I decided there would be no more children and had another IUD put in.

For the next year, I pretended everything was fine and worked very hard and lost all the pregnancy weight – convinced that it was all the weight I’d gained that had caused him to lose his attraction to me. And guess what? He still wasn’t interested.
But he had sex with me just enough to keep me placated. Basically, he masturbated in me once about every six weeks. It would last less than 30 seconds every time. One night, he rolled over and we had one of these encounters. And six weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. I was absolutely devastated. I did not want to have another child and I knew I would feel like I felt when I was pregnant with my last child. In fact, it was even worse. I gained more weight very quickly and in my first trimester, he stopped sleeping with me. He withdrew from me even more. He was even nasty at times. He knew I couldn’t do a lot for myself. I would ask him to move something heavy for me and he acted like he was inconvenienced. I cried almost every single day.
After the baby was born and I lost a lot of weight and gained my strength back (physical and emotional), I realized he still wasn’t interested in me. And he was still sleeping on the couch. So I started researching pornography addiction and what I found out shocked the hell out of me. The big lie about men and pornography is that it’s normal and perfectly acceptable. But the truth is that it kills the intimacy between a husband and wife. It destroys families just like a drug, alcohol, or gaming addiction. It is nothing less than infidelity.

When I realized that this was the real reason he had pulled away from me (it wasn’t his “low sex drive” or “low sperm count” or any of that other bull crap) was because he was lusting after other women. How could he want me (especially after the damage done to my body by having two babies) when he was looking at and lusting after women with perfect bodies? I discovered that he was actually a sex addict!

I was absolutely distraught because I knew I could never live up to the standard these women had set. No matter how much weight I lost. No matter how many jumping jacks I did. No matter what surgeries I got, I could never measure up. He would never love and honor me because I didn’t and could not look like a porn star. Never mind the sacrifices I’d made to give him two perfect children, to keep our home in excellent condition, to earn four college degrees, etc.
No matter how much literature I read that “explained” the addiction and how it is just like any other addiction, I still can’t get over the pain and humiliation. In fact, the literature suggests that the man needs support. That he feels bad. And some even make it sound like HE is the victim. Why should he be the one to get the support? I have never done him wrong. I have been a faithful, loving wife and mother. I work so hard and when I’m not pregnant, I usually also have a full-time job.

And speaking of humiliation, his ENTIRE family knows. Yeah, ALL my in-laws know about my shame. They all know that I cannot satisfy my own husband.
And there’s nothing I can do except cry and feel sorry for myself. If it weren’t for the children we have together, I’d be gone. I would have moved out. But I can’t do that to my children. They need their father. I know because I desperately needed one. And I don’t want to be a single mother. I can’t have my children wind up like I did. I won’t be the one to break up the family over his issues. However, if he fails to be a father or if he chooses to stop supporting the family financially, he is gone. At this point, I am convinced that he is only with me because he knows his economic future is set. He complains all the time that he’s getting old (he’s 40) and knows he will need to retire soon. He is counting on the fact that I have a bunch of college degrees and that I’ll be able to land a really good job.

Another thing I want to mention is that I have no one to turn to. I lost all my friends from my last divorce (all our friends were mutual). I can’t talk to his family because of the humiliation. I can’t talk to mine because I’m too ashamed. I can’t even pray because I am so angry at God.
How could God do this to women? How could he engineer men to want women only if they look perfect? Why do we have to be the ones to sacrifice and bear the children and then suffer further humiliation because our bodies change so drastically after childbirth? Explain to me how that’s fair?
And another thing, according to the scriptures, mine is the greater sin because I cannot forgive. So once again, my husband is the victim in this.

He is just like the rest. A selfish, disgusting pervert pig of a man. Just the sight of him nauseates me.

I say again. I hate men. I HATE them and I never want to be around one ever again. I don’t care to see my father again. I don’t want to be with my husband. I don’t want any male friends. And I will make sure that when I do start working again, they will be my subordinates.
I will teach my daughters the truth about how disgusting men are and how NONE of them can be trusted. I will teach them self-reliance so they never have to depend on a man for anything. I will protect them from this unbearable suffering I feel.

This post was submitted by ihatemen1024.

Adult Pervs at a Bar Mitzvah

My friend dressed up for her brother’s Bar Mitzvah last night. She is 16. She wore lots of nude-ish makeup, put her hair in loose glam waves, and had a slim long dress on. She is thin with an hourglassy figure. She looked pretty, but I was DISGUSTED by the NASTY men who thought it would be okay to comment on her appearance so much. They were all objectifying a 16-year-old.

Among the things I heard (addressed to her):
• “My husband saw you out on the dance floor and said, ‘she looks the best out there!’”
•”Wow.. You’re hot, aren’t you? You look 18 or 19.”
•After bumping into me… Addressed her: “I wish I had bumped into you instead”

Why is her appearance SO goddamn important, and why did they objectify her for it? No “how is school” or “what are your hobbies?”. Just a bunch of creepy googly eyes and “YOU’RE HOT LOLOLOL.”

And AGAIN and AGAIN, men addressed me as “sweetie,” even after I had given them my name. I know men wouldn’t receive this type of objectification and degrading behavior.

A bunch of rich, nasty, sexist men. I had the shittiest time of my life. They were pretty old. I hope they die soon so the new more-pro-equality generation of women and men can immerse themselves in the workplace.

I hate men. They’re sexist perverts. And I don’t want to hear another “not all men” because it’s pretty close to all men.

This post was submitted by sick-of-it91.

A chance encounter with a hospital bully

One instance during my month long recovery in a Hospital replays any time I hear of patient mistreatment at the hands of healthcare staff.

I was bedridden for the longest portion of my Hospital stay due to a laundry list of injuries.

The most dire of such was my broken neck and the two busted disks just above said damage.

Due to the multiple skull fractures I thankfully didn’t have to be put in a “Halo” (though in my highly medicated state when the word Halo was mentioned my gaming memory kicked in and I replied that “yeah it’s a great game, I loved using the sniper rifle” which got some odd reactions, because I couldn’t speak and had to write down my responses on a note pad)

As my stay in the ICU ward was coming to an end my bed was moved into a waiting area setup for room transfers. I stayed in there for a few days due to the hospital in question being both understaffed and the increased influx of new patients.

Keep in mind I couldn’t talk due to an emergency tracheotomy, and had to write down what I had to say, or use my limited vocabulary of sign language (depending on the situation and my mood at that time).

One member of the staff that worked the ICU ward at that time was known for being abusive to patients, he had been written up several times before due to prior incidents.

My right collar bone had been snapped like a twig as I went over the top of the car, because I tried to slow myself down during the accident by grabbing at a section near the top of the windshield and the roof (which also caused me to dislocate all the fingers of my right hand).

As a bed ridden patient is apt to do, I needed clean up. The staff tried to roll me onto my injured right shoulder,not having the time to explain or the ability to vocalize the same, my left hand had a death grip on the bed railing.

After what seemed like 5 minutes of struggling the 4 kind folks had to stop and take a breather,at which point I signaled a time out (with my left arm still wrapped around the bed railing) and signaled for my pad of paper and something to write with.

At which point the staff member known for abuse arrived to “help”.

I let them know the reason I was putting up so much resistance and told them that if they would allow me to roll on my left side everything would be fine.

As they read my hastily scribbled message the “helper” stepped up and wrenched the note pad out of my hands and told me to “Just shut the fuck up” tossed the notepad over his shoulder and tried to forcefully roll me onto my right shoulder.

At which point I lost my temper and the fingers of my left hand found their way around his throat.

He was a rather muscular fellow but as I knew muscles need things like oxygenated blood to work, and I was doing my best to make a complete fist with my left hand (rolling my thumb in to keep him from breaking the grip).

He hammered at my left forearm with everything he could muster, and for a brief moment forgot that I couldn’t mouthed a question to him,asking if he wanted to fucking keep it (The “IT” being his life).

He must have been a great lip reader because his eyes widened as I mouthed my question to him. I pulled him toward me and released, it took all the strength I had at that point to pull off that small feat of retaliation, but the message seemed to have gotten through.

His actions caused him to be fired (as I was told later the number of such instances were too much to ignore and I was the last patient to suffer his unpleasant attitude).

What I also found out was that I not only nearly choked him to death with my one good arm I had picked him up by the throat and threw him across the room, then it was told to me that I tried to get out of the bed to go after him.

I didn’t remember that part because a high dose of morphine was pumped into my I.V. and I was shortly in weird dreamland once more.

This post was submitted by Pfletch83.

By 2025, ‘sexbots will be commonplace’ –

According to a new report that looks at how continuing improvements to artificial intelligence and robotics will impact society, “robotic sex partners will become commonplace” by 2025. A large portion of the report also focuses on how AI and robotics will impact both blue- and white-collar workers, with about 50% of the polled experts stating that robots will displace more human jobs than they create by 2025.

The report, called “AI, Robotics, and the Future of Jobs” and published by Pew Research, is a 66-page monster [PDF]. The report basically consists of a bunch of experts waxing lyrical about what the world will look like in 2025 if robots and AI continue to advance at the same scary pace of the last few years. Almost every expert agreed that robots and AI will no longer be constrained to repetitive tasks on a production line, and will permeate “wide segments of daily life by 2025.” The experts are almost perfectly split on whether these everyday robots will be a boon or a menace to society, though — but more on that at the end of the story.

http://www.extremetech.com/extreme/188047-by-2025-sexbots-will-be-commonplace-which-is-just-fine-as-well-all-be-unemployed-and-bored-thanks-to-robots-stealing-our-jobs

Shazz

When competing in a male-dominated field, women should ‘man up’

Any woman who has applied for a job in a male-dominated field faces a quandary: Does she play up her feminine strengths, such as being supportive or a good listener, or emphasize traits more associated with men, such as assertiveness?

It turns out that showcasing “manliness” is the better strategy, according to a study in the latest issue of Psychology of Women Quarterly.

In a laboratory experiment, a group of more than 600 undergrads from Michigan State evaluated a group of women applying for an engineering management job. They concluded that women who described themselves using traits traditionally associated with men — independence, or a focus on achievement — were seen as more fitting for the job than those who emphasized traits often seen as more feminine (warmth, supportiveness, and nurturing).

“We found that ‘manning up’ seemed to be an effective strategy, because it was seen as necessary for the job,” said Michigan State’s Ann Marie Ryan, who co-authored the study with Jennifer Wessel and several others.

The study is the latest in a growing body of work examining how women survive and thrive in the often-male dominated worlds such as top management.

http://fortune.com/2014/08/14/when-competing-in-a-male-dominated-field-women-should-man-up/

This post was submitted by Shazz

Why does it seem like that men just want sex all the damn time

Yes, I do not think I will ever know what its like to be a man, considering that i am a woman in the first place and i most definitely plan to stay that way.

But how come men act like they have to do it all the time. They will even go as far as screwing a poor chicken if they can’t screw any other living thing with a hole in it.

So disgusting!

Men are actually weaker than women, not in the sense of physical as most men would think but more mentally which is far more powerful.

Without sex, a man can break. Its pathetic really.
But why is that? I really don’t know. But it pisses me off when men act like women are their subordinate in all sorts of ways.

Men tend to think more about the physical aspects of sex than the emotional. The ones who are emotional(the good ones) are the “sissies” and “faggots.”

And the women who wanna be with a bad boy(the stupid women) allow these men to treat them like toys.

I just look at sex as such a disgusting act for the most part. It could be a beautiful thing if men were not such vile creatures……oh well…..

This post was submitted by despiserofmen.

The Smallbore defensive Shotgun

For the majority of shotgun owners the words “Defensive” and “Small bore shotgun” are mutually exclusive and the two should never meet.

I understand the main concern about a small caliber like a .410 and the fear that it would be ineffective. Gauges like the 12 and 20 are very good options and have been following through on the tasks of putting meat on the table,busting clay pigeons and protecting the homestead for generations.

But (you had to know that was coming) the properly setup .410 has much to offer.

First off let us get the negatives of the .410 addressed and out of the way.

#1: Limited payload= No where near as many shot pellets carried per shell as the larger gauges

#2: Limited effective range = Due to the limited payload.

#3: Ammunition cost and availability when compared to the two more popular shotgun gauges.

Because of the above negatives most opt not to use the .410 and choose one of the other two gauges or go with a standard carbine (such as the M-4 style AR-15) or a carbine that uses the same caliber ammunition as their handgun.

Now on to the positives of the .410 as a defensive arm.

#1: It’s still a shotgun (though most would say just barely) and it does offer more fire power per trigger pull than a firearm that relies on single projectiles.

#2: The limitation of a small payload is reduced to a moot point when the range is close (as it is with most home defense encounters)

#3: Light recoil= Anyone in a household that can shoulder it can make use of it,and the recovery time from shot to shot is faster than with a larger gauge shotgun stoked with standard buckshot loads.

#4: Defensive ammunition for the .410 is generally much cheaper than most centerfire rifle or handgun ammunition designed for the same purpose.

#5: Though there are few models of .410 shotguns purposely designed for defensive use, one can turn an old single or double barrel break action into a very effective close range fight stopper.

My choice for two such small bore shotguns are of the Mossberg 500 E series.

One was a standard hunting model (Model#:50104) that came from the factory wearing a 24-inch full choke barrel,that was soon swapped out for an 18.5 inch cylinder choke barrel.

The second was the .410 version of their Cruiser model (Model#:50455) said variant came with a rear pistol grip which I replaced with a suitable 13.5 inch synthetic stock, it came with an 18.5 inch cylinder choke barrel from the factory.

The magazine tubes for both were the same capacity meaning that barrels could be interchanged easily.

Ammunition selection

Here is where most have a problem and where many an internet debate has started.

A number of folks load their scatter guns up with off the shelf game loads (which hold lots of very tiny lead pellets) and call it a day.

Others (which I am of that number) understand that different loads are meant for different tasks and champion the use of buckshot for home defense duties.

Federal offers several very good loads for such a task, those being.

#1: Federal premium defense 3-inch #4 Buck (a #4 buckshot pellet is .24 caliber which is equal in size to a .22 LR bullet and the load in question carries 9 per-shell) It works well in full choked guns (the choke most often encountered with a .410 shotgun) and does well in cylinder choke barrels at close range (a respectable 2-3 inch wide pattern at distances of 15 to 20 feet) this offering is tailor made for defense inside a dwelling,offering good penetration.

#2: Federal 3-inch ’000′ buckshot 5-pellet load (a ’000′ buck pellet is .36 caliber equal in size to a .38 special/.357 magnum caliber bullet) this load is very potent and carries with it a greater chance of over penetration I would not recommend this load for folks that live in apartment buildings or similar cramped living conditions. the same goes for the next load.both perform best from a cylinder choke barrel as there is no constriction and no real interference with the pattern.

#3: Federal premium defense 2-1/2 inch ’000′ buckshot 4-pellet load, same as above but in a shorter shell with one less pellet, though from a shotgun it will have a higher velocity than the 3-inch shell.

*I understand that many on this site are not of my mindset and are not fans of firearms ownership,my reason for posting this wasn’t meant as a way to change the site into something it was never meant to be. I just want to get this information out and maybe help save someone’s life if they decide to arm themselves*

This post was submitted by Pfletch83.

Most men are ridiculous

I dont hate men. As a friends they can be great BUT it is difficult to have friendship with them because some how their brains have been programmed to see every female as a possible romantic partner, someones who uplift their low self-esteem or releases their over flowing lust.
Men are all or most of them are very insecure beggars, who are like mosquitos.
As we women meet and connect with each other (and with all) like human being connect to another human being, men see and approach us projecting their own fallacy on us. So very rarely the real connection actually happens. Top of all,in reality, they are afraid of us.
(Yet they still wonder and cry why no any woman wants them).
They beg our attention because in their insecurity they dont feel like full man and human being without our attention.

I have met quite many even pityfull cases and felt and knew Im light years a head of them.

Romantically some ATTRACTIVE , conscious men might turn me on but sexually not many. Most make me feel rather nauseous.
Even the memory of some of them makes me vomite. Yuk.

Women are much stronger and independent beings than men (even if in our times badly underestimated). This is the truth.
Women can easily live without men (emotionally and physically) so they are not that much slaves of their minds and urges.

Our (Women) only problem is that we feel (motherly) care for almost towards everyone, we want to believe good in everything and about everyone and are often too understanding. Thats why, sometimes,we lower our own standards and compromise our selves. (Without actually no reason at all).

We should stick to the absolute best only and without second though not waste our precious time to those that does not deserve it.

This post was submitted by Goddess.