“I’m 21, have had five or six relationships and was excited to discover that my new boyfriend actually asks permission for things in bed and gracefully accepts “no” for an answer. It’s awful to think that this is genuinely the first relationship in which my consent really mattered.”
“When I turned 18 I started working at a bar, on my first shift I asked a man what he wanted and he replied ‘you in a taxi’. Later, I had to go clear up a spillage and was groped by the same man. When I tried to explain to my supervisor, I was told that if I couldn’t get used to it, then this wasn’t the job for me.”
“Waiting outside the cinema in town for my friend about 7pm. A car slowed down and the driver asked me “how much?”
“My friend’s mum was locked in a taxi in a foreign country as the male taxi driver tried to force himself onto her, she escaped by attacking him. I have been catcalled at the age of 12. I have walked into the bathroom to have a shower while my boyfriend at the time decided to come in too. I specifically said “no you’re not allowed to see me have a shower”. He tried to come inside anyway, so I said NO and began to shut the door on him. He kept pushing the door open as I was trying to close it. This was when we were both 14.”
“cornered at the atm by a man commenting on my ass. Continued to yell remarks as I walked off.”
“Overheard young boy on bus saying – “I’ll rape your mum so bad she can’t walk”.
Got hit on by two men on the street whom got in my face – the only one of his mutters I caught was “your hot pussy.” Shaken, walked to grad school event, where a classmate complained about his unsuccessful complimenting of a woman earlier that day. In trying to engage him on why he was rebuffed, citing my own experience from moments prior, he responds that women just need to be more open to men approaching them.”
“My nextdoor neighbor has a teenage son who has just learnt to drive. He has covered his car in car stickers which say: Be a flirt lift your skirt. Bitches ride behind. Four doors for more whores.”
“Whilst on the Tube a few years ago a man sat down opposite me. He started staring at me then leant forward and massaged my thighs. Got up and got off the train. Told my then boyfirend, who responded ‘Why didn’t you just move’
“Applied for a bar job and was asked to provide a photo. When I was offered a trial shift, I was informed it was because I was pretty enough and my cleavage would look good in the uniform – for guys this was a smart shirt but for us girls it was a tight halter-neck dress. I was also told that customers may try to pinch my bum, and if that bothered me I shouldn’t work here. Because it’s my fault for looking good in a slutty dress, my fault for having a bum, and my fault that guys aren’t aware of personal and sexual boundaries.”
“I work as a retail assistant and yesterday a male customer, to get my attention, whistled at me like you would a dog.”
Every woman I have ever encountered in an executive position from anecdotal experience is automatically labelled a “Bitch.”
I’m sick of being told by random men on the street to smile (why? so I will be prettier for you to look at?), among other things. Throughout school like many girls I had to put up with the boys acting out sexual acts, bum slapping and grabbing, having my bra unclipped as I walked by, them walking up to me and asking for blowjobs straight out without so much as a little small talk (not that that would make it okay to ask after), calling me a bitch, whore, ugly mess, stuck up, frigid, etc., despite being none of those things and being a conservative dresser and petite with not much to flaunt”
I was raped and told one of my close friends. His immediate response was, “I’m disappointed in you.” Given that we share a brother-sister connection, I couldn’t be helped but be saddened by his reaction. To clarify, he meant “I’m disappointed in you because if you didn’t act so loose, your rapist wouldn’t have done it.”
“It means something in this day and age when a 17 year old girl like myself has to walk past a group of grown men miaowing at me as I walk to my bus, I was so disgusted, but acted as if I didn’t hear and kept moving”
“I was being trained for a 3D printing machine for a design group I’m part of. Other participants being trained talked over me, doubted my knowledge (I’m a qualified engineer and designer) interrupted me and made very uncomfortable jokes. It felt like the first year of engineering school all over again. The group leader is constantly asking why there aren’t enough women in the group.”
“Going to look for a new car, male friend with me. Sales man addressed the friend, even though I asked the questions.”
“My mum who escaped Vietnam during the VN war on a boat hid under a pile of boxes and blankets as she listened to every other woman on the boat get raped by men who were also escaping.”
“Was told by female colleagues at new job that they don’t bend over in the staff room, and I shouldn’t either, because the guys would make stupid comments.”
The point is not all men do this (obviously), but nearly all women have experienced something like this – and that it is so NORMALIZED and “inappropriate” to talk about it because it’s ‘normal’ and ‘expected’ and ‘your own fault’. And no, we don’t talk about it openly because it is stigmatized. In before people not willing to admit that this is a social issue primary caused by men. ‘the guys were just assholes’ and that ‘these have nothing to do with sexism’. THIS IS A GENDER ISSUE.
This post was submitted by chrome95.