I thought it was ironic that the front page of this website claims not to discriminate, yet the title of this group is in itself discriminatory. I was wondering if this was a bit of irony-on-purpose, or some weird attempt to apologize to men again? What I see is that women are constantly at the butt of the joke. Our tits, ass, womanhood, sexuality, feminity- always up for a good laugh at a womans expense. Many of these status quo saying are considered normal, such as calling a white tanktop a “wife beater” and it becomes the every day lingo. Many jokes about women are violent- and people laugh at them all the time. Rape jokes are all too common. When we say we hate men, why can’t we just hate them? I think that it would be justified, after all the bullshit we go through. I see posts on here that echo my entire past experience with most men. I have dated a few who were wonderful and kind hearted, but the majority were either using, lying or trying to abuse me. When I say majority I really do mean that. The earliest memory I have of being harrassed by a man, I was 7 years old and someone pulled over their car to kidnap me. This has happened numerous times over the years, and when I was homeless for an extended period of time- It was the worst. I was stalked by multiple men, and one situation where I almost did not make it out alive. I grew up with a father who made countless inappropriate sexual remarks about my body, particularily my breasts. He would make fun of me for “not having a rack like your mom”, and “when are you gonna grow a pair”. My dad had a violent temper that he would never take out on my brothers, he would just yell at me, literally scream down my throat at times. I had to learn how to be bigger than him, angrier and meaner to survive. An ex boyfriend held me down and choked me out when I tried to get him to leave my friends house, after he told me that no one wanted to have sex with me because I was sexually abused as a kid. Oh yeah, and theres that time when I was a kid. I was 12 and my brothers friend molested me. The sad thing is that for too many years, I became used to the reality of the catcalls, the sexual connotation behind almost every conversation with a man, the harrassment. I even thought it was normal, way back then, that my dad would say those things to me. And in a way I was right, It was normal. It was normal to hear those things from many men. I closed down and accepted it. I began to make sexist comments too. I felt like I was fighting against myself, because in this society- sexism is the accepted norm. Now I see women speaking out, in more radical ways than ever. Forums online are filling up with feminists holding it down. Men come along just the same, and infer to us that we don’t know our own womanhood well enough. That we shouldnt be upset over a few jokes, jokes that may have very well been a reality for TOO MANY OF US, jokes that may have altered our lives- Because we were raped, beaten or otherwise. But lets laugh about it. And when women are tired of laughing about it, we are told YET AGAIN that we are putting too much thought in it. That somehow we dont know what concerns us. That somehow we dont have that sick feeling in our gut in public situations, bars, or otherwise. A gut feeling which often turns out to be true. Why is it that I have to scan every man I meet for being a potential threat to me? Why is it that I can’t walk down the street without literally looking over my shoulder every block, corner, alleyway and bush? I refuse to stop looking, because if I slip up just once? I might be victimized again. Why do we think its okay to allow men in on these forums, to continue spouting their entitled opinions and making debates over something that… really has nothing to do with their opinions. It has to do with our safety, sanity and health…sometimes even our lives. If a man wants to be an ally, maybe he should be the one shutting up for a change. Maybe he should just listen, and understand that we know what threatens us. Maybe he should stop putting his 2 cents in, and ask what he can do to help.
This post was submitted by ireallydohatemenipromise.