I HATE MEN – 100,000 members strong

May 16th, 2013
11:50 PM ET

“Is cheating in a man’s DNA? Pat Robertson says, it’s natural for men & probably wife’s fault

Prominent televangelist Pat Robertson told a viewer who was struggling to forgive her cheating husband – to get over it – because men can’t help but cheat and it was probably her fault anyway.

“He cheated on you, well he’s a man, okay, so what you do is begin to focus on why you married him in the first place.” Robertson added, “… recognize males have a tendacy to wander a little bit, and what you want to do is make the home so wonderful he doesn’t want to wander.”

Is cheating in a man’s DNA?

OutFront tonight: Political comedian Dean Obeidallah, Radio Show host and comedian Stephanie Miller and relationship expert Dr. Wendy Walsh. She’s also author of the new book, “The 30 Day Love Detox.”

http://outfront.blogs.cnn.com/2013/05/16/is-cheating-in-a-mans-dna/

I hear televangelists say offensive things about gays, women, and sex almost every time I listen to them. I wonder why the spotlight is suddenly on this one?

This post was submitted by 2ugly2love.

I havent had interest in dating for the past 2 years, I cannot tell you the last time I have had a crush on someone either. I do want to start off by saying, when I did date, I did not act psycho with men. I feel the need to say that because the stereotype of rape victims includes: they hate sex (most of my boyfriends did not have a higher sex drive than me, also my vibrator is my best friend), they will never trust you (I trusted all of my boyfriends until they showed shady behavior, I didnt go in feeling they were untrustworthy), they have extreme emotional issues (many men I dated commented that I wasnt moody and I was fun-loving and that they liked it)

The thing is though. Men are not caring and sensitive. 2 out of the 3 guys I dated for a decent length of time I told them. I did not say details, just mentioned it happened to me. They werent super supportive but they werent mean either, in the beginning when they were courting me. Once things became official and more time passed and they became complacent, many of them dropped the act. One guy frequently made me watch violent movies that had rape scenes in it. They did not show much, but they freaked me out. This guy was throughly irritated when I would leave the room or occasionally objected to a rape-scene-including movie. He also later told me my past is a disgrace and to not tell any of his family members, because it is a sign I must be mentally fudged up and cannot act normal. He overheard a family member of mine remark on how strong I am and he scoffed. The second guy, told me I “should be over it by now” after we had dated awhile and frequently pulled out the “you must hate men and thats why youre telling me this” card when I respectfully objected to something he did, like gawking at my female cousin’s ass or being way too flirtacious with an ex. Pretty much all women would be bothered by this behavior, but with me, he conveniently had this card to pull out and use to rationalize my behavior to always make HIM look good. He also told me right before we broke up he thinks alot of girls lie about rape, and that the likelihood of me getting raped by 2 men is slim to none. He said this to me knowing I am a rape victim and say nothing wrong with it.

The 3rd guy I dated I didnt tell, as you can imagine after the first 2 guys, I didnt want him to know. After we dated for some time and things were okay (just okay, complacency was starting to set in and his selfish ways were coming out) he found out from my brothers who accidentally let it slip. He asked me questions about it in a curious way, admitted he had been molested as a child. I breathed a sigh of relief- finally I found someone who would accept me and whom I did not have to worry about my past being used against me and the stigma! He asked me stuff about how I coped. I admitted I still get depressed from time to time, but I cope much better and now I always snap out of it and my bouts are much shorter. That was the wrong thing to say. Guess what excuses he threw my way later in the relationship, after I told him it was unacceptable to ask his ex to sleep over and to say mean things to me in front of my friends and his own family? “Youre insecure because youve been raped.” And “You should move on…Ive been molested and I have.” He may have moved on, but research studies show men who are molested as children/teenagers are more likely to have narcisstic tendencies as they get older (which I found out after 6 months, this guy was def. a narcissist) so being molested clearly affected him. I treated all my boyfriends with respect and care, far more than they ever gave me. I gave all 3 of them a chance. Look where it got me. A guy himself who had suffered sexual violence acted the same way.

I get why some men dont want to date rape victims. I wait a bit longer than normal to have sex, at least 2 months, but I feel thats the only way being raped affected my relationships. Some rape victims have severe problems. I get why someone wouldnt want to date someone with severe mental health issues. But if you are a rape victim and you act like a normal girlfriend, the stigma will follow you everywhere. Anytime a guy wants to deflect blame or responsibility from himself for treating you bad, they can always pull out the “youve been raped” card.

This post was submitted by shakethehobbitt.

Really this is something I need to be talking to my therapist about. Sometimes I have… “pleasant” dreams, or rather twisted nightmares, about tying men up and raping them. Without giving away too many pornographic details, I’ve often wondered if I’m a selfish hypocrite or even if there is something (seriously) wrong with me psychologically. Don’t mistake me. I never have compulsions to attack some random guy or react violently to someone’s presence. I don’t obsess over specific men who I would like to make victims. I can explode when I get angry enough, but my harshest weapon of choice is my tongue. I always reassure myself that I am not a bad person. I can’t control what kinds of dreams I have. It may turn me on, but again, that isn’t a voluntary thing. But what I do obsess over is rape. I should just admit it, because I could go on for hours about the subject.

I don’t remember when the dreams began. I want to say when I was going through puberty, right about the time when I started having sexual feelings. I was looking through some of my old journals, and I had written about the dreams. Weird… weird shit. I barely even recalled writing it. I think I was 14-15 at the time, and I was feeling extreme guilt over learning to masturbate (because you know, Jesus said not to). My sex education was not very helpful… like at all. I was taught in an abstinence program at my public high school that masturbation is a maladaptive, shameful, addictive behavior that causes marital problems and mental illness… You can’t make this shit up. It is the hilarious side of southern fried American schooling. I was also going through a lot of bullying, and I wrote very immature little girl things like, “It would be funny if he got kicked in the nuts and paralyzed from the waist down.” and “I HATE stinking boys so much I want to die!” It’s fair to say I’ve come a long way since then…

I think you know where this is going. The dreams usually occur when I haven’t had the time to jack off in a while and feel all jittery and itchy before going to bed. Sometimes my victims are made up phantoms of my imagination, no one I actually know. But most disturbing is when it is someone I know in real life. The next day, I try to avoid that person but usually fail. Most bizarre of all is when I have a dream about some jerk who I don’t find attractive, or didn’t think I found attractive. >.<

So, on the off chance that you guys aren’t completely afraid to respond to any of my comments ever again, what the fuck is wrong with me? You know, I intensely debated posting this. And no, I am absolutely not trolling!

This post was submitted by 2ugly2love.

Is it me or does it seem like all men lie and cheat? I have not found one guy in my life that can not be faithful ever! My self esteem is totally ruined from all the crap I had put up with! They act like they love you sooo much but then behind your back they are out flirting or sneaking online and going on date sites and hooking up with other girls. Just cant take it anymore!

This post was submitted by sweetbunny75.

In this ‘mans world’ we are forever seeing men destroy everything that is beautiful, lovely and innocent….men like to intimidate, they enjoy feeling all powerful- they are always striving for what will benefit their selfish needs as fast as possible with no regard for who they may hurt.

I want to discuss online porn and what it is doing to our culture.

There was a time when men still stood up for a lady when she left a table, a time when men where daydreaming about women and writing poetry about them and painting their gorgeous forms. There was a time when women were called just that…’women’.

The days we are now in are worse than a Freddy Krueger film….men don’t refer women as women or ladies nowadays….they are called ‘sluts’, ‘hoes’, ‘whores’, ‘bitches’ and so on….men have lost more and more respect for women as the time has passed and I am now afraid to even get pregnant one day and have a child I’ve always wanted to have as I hate this generations perspective on how to handle a woman.

Magical times of colourful musicals, men taking their girl out dancing romantically, serenading the one you love with Elvis and Frank Sinatra….those days are GONE. And it’s a tragedy.

Naughty boys were once sneaking a dirty magazine into their house and having the odd look every now and then. Men once lusted after ‘normal’ women and had a great sex life with their partner.
These days men turn on their computer to get an array of women, all created to suit their specials tastes, all there to be doing any possible thing for their pleasure….making women into more of a ‘mans tool’ than ever before- maybe men should take the next step and start selling what they term as ‘sluts’ at Bunnings in their own aisle?!?…At least in the 50′s when the woman was expected to clean, cook etc (which she still is) she was respected and appreciated- she was still the queen for a man…women are NOT looked upon as princesses, even if they still are cleaning and cooking…they are looked upon as tools for a mans use.

Men are a horrible species. Sure there are some very nice ones scattered about and some very brilliant ones but as a whole I have to say their desires, needs and practices are downright disgusting!

Men who ‘tune’ into online porn on a regular basis are not only seeing women as total objects but they are screwing up their libido and will soon suffer erectile disfunction- this wouldn’t be a big issue as they will have the wonky penis but their partner is on the other end and it’s not very fun for a woman to have to deal with that I can imagine.

I once had a good looking young law student boyfriend who would have sex with me all the time while we were dating and the sex was fantastic- he once did it a total of 13 times in a day which was full on, sweaty but memorable!

These days, men who I have dated and only in their late 20′s or early 30′s have trouble doing it once a day and mostly need to skip a day in order to experience a good orgasm…these guys are also addicted to all sorts of online porn, E cup fake breasts and women that look like models (they seem to think that the women in porn are what their girlfriends should be looking like) Men are so stupid!!!!!! They have no clue. I’ve always been an above average looking girl and take great care in my appearance- sure there are my frumpy days but for the men in my life that has never been acceptable. As soon as I feel a bit stressed or overworked and want a week off the gym or to enjoy myself with some ice-cream it’s a slap on the wrist and a push back into line! I’ve never had a problem with a boyfriend not being able to get an erection (yet) but my problem is with my partners expecting me to be like one of the women online that they fantasise about- and because i’m not a pornstar, it means less sex, taking longer for them to orgasm and lots of sneaking around to watch videos as soon as i’m out of the house (like it’s something so wonderful and better than anything for them!).

I’ve been an idiot and have let my self-esteem slip on numerous occasions- I’ve had surgeries- lipo, botox, fillers- let my partners use me the same way as the girls are used in the porn with nothing mutually satisfying- having their disgusting semen all over my face, in my mouth and other places I don’t want to mention. I am left feeling disgusting, not worshipped as a woman should be (especially since I treat my partner like a king at home) and totally turned off men all together.

The last straw came when he suggested we go to a ‘swingers club’ (after only 8 months of dating)….since then he is trying to deny he even suggested it after I got really upset (as if i just imagined him saying it and imagined seeing all the swingers websites he had been checking out when his idea cropped up). This sent me crazy- I started Googling ‘do men need to cheat?’….I started reading things that would make any woman’s hair stand on end….stupid articles by doctors who like to say that women need to realise that ALL men are not monogamous. So what is the point of getting into a relationship then if that’s the doctors statistic?? Are we supposed to smile sweetly and pretend for their sake? And if we do something they don’t like, it’s the end of the world??

I feel that online porn has a lot to answer for and it’s availability these days is horrifying. At least you had to subscribe with a credit card 10 years ago….now you just go to a vast number of free sites where you can find millions of videos…. And these bastards say the most stupid things like ‘oh, it’s in our DNA to watch this- we can’t help it so you have to get used to it or get lost’….’men are designed to watch porn and they need to’…..’it’s like women watching or reading a love story/movie and thinking romantically about the leading man’…..BULLSHIT!!!!!! It is all selfish and pathetic excuses….they DO NOT NEED anything!!! It’s like me saying ‘oh I NEED to have a prince come charging in on a horse and rescue me and take me to his castle’….I would certainly love that but it’s a selfish and unrealistic thing to have or expect!! But when men want something that is purely disgusting, hurtful to their partner and a selfish act, they work a way to have it and then use the most pathetic reasoning for why they should have it.

Men are small children – many which need to have their testicles removed…..male cats and dogs get desexed and they’re a much nicer animal….maybe it’s time the larger human male animal follow suit.
First it’s online porn and watching anything they can dream about…then it’s all about raising the bar……making your partner feel inadequate and feel the need to have plastic surgery, cheating on your partner to live out your porno fantasies, using prostitutes, raping and even some sickos out there start thinking of raping and murdering…..it’s a sick world….the age of loveliness and innocence is long gone….if there was another planet I could exit out to, I would have been gone yesterday.

Good luck ladies and never forget to assert yourself with a man that tries to intimidate or use you.

xx

This post was submitted by fairyprincessforever.

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate

Whats the difference between a new boyfriend and a new dog?
The dog is still excited to see you after a year.

The best way to a man’s heart is straight through his chest with a sharp knife.

If God had wanted women to chase men, he would have made the men worth catching.

There are easier things in life than finding a good man…. nailing water to a tree for instance.

Trusting a guy is like jumping out of the 10th floor.
You hope it won’t hurt. But you know it will.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship

Men are like…Government Bonds. They take so long to mature.

Men are like…Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.

MEN-tal Anxiety, MEN-opause, MEN-tal Breakdown. Ever noticed that all problems start with MEN?

Men need women more than women need men; and so, aware of this fact, man has sought to keep woman dependent upon him economically as the only method open to him of making himself necessary to her.

I believe in dragons, faeries, good men, unicorns, and other fantasy creatures.

As long as you know that most men are like children, you know everything. — Coco Channel

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

Men are like hammers, they haven’t evolved much in the past 5,000 years, but they’re useful to have around.

Men are like sperm. They’ve got a one-in-a-million chance of becoming human beings

Men are like dogs. If they can’t eat it or screw it, then they just piss on it.

Men are like public toilets they’re either engaged, vacant, don’t work or full of sh*t.

Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion

Men are proof that women can take a joke.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they don’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

Why did God create man? Because vibrators can’t mow the lawn.

Why do men name their penises? They want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all of their decisions.

Why do men like masturbation? It’s sex with someone they love.

If a man got pregnant.…..Abortion would be available in convenient stores and drive-thru windows.

What did God say after creating man? I can do better.

What’s the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding, scum-sucker, and the other is a fish!

What’s a man’s idea of helping you with the housework? Picking up his feet so you can vacuum.

What do men and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.

A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.
“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking when the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove had caught on fire. It went up in seconds. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is gone……..”
“Wait! Back up a minute,” the man says. “My agent called?”

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One…men will screw anything.

How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He’s breathing.

This post was submitted by shakethehobbitt.

My entire life has been a series of abusive encounters with men. From childhood molestation to cheating, physical abuse, rape. Men do nothing but lie and hurt women for y their own selfish reasons. I hate them. Life would be wonderful without them.

This post was submitted by imsoovermen.

After being married for 17 years to a man who constantly told me I was stupid, that I wasted HIS money (even though I work full time in a professional job) I don’t think I ever want to get married again! He was horrid to my son (that was not his), by calling him names as well, and telling him he was good for nothing. I can’t believe I stayed that long…I never felt good enough…I did everything! I mean everything. He was in the military, and was gone quite a bit. I took care of the house, the bills, our yard(which was over an acre), and the kids and animals. Plus, I worked full time…teaching high school. I pretty much hate men. In my mind, I see them as lazy, lacking common sense, and assholes. I am tired of being yelled at and belittled. I pretty much have no self esteem left…and the worst part is that I let it happen.

This post was submitted by ladygodiva.

From 4 yrs old (that is as far back as I can remember) until I was 11 years old I was molested multiple times by my own father, a friend of the family, strangers (at camp ground and in church) and some boys on a school bus.
Every guy I dated tried to force themselves on me and when I said no, they would start picking me apart, telling me every reason why I was ugly and saying they only wanted sex anyway.
So I stopped dating and went into a depression.
From 15-17 yrs old, I didn’t date. I refused to speak to anyone unless it was my mom and dad.
One day I drink bleach from the bottle. I did not want to live anymore. I thought no one would miss me anyway. No one cares about me unless they wanted sex or to use and abuse me. No one even noticed I was hurting.
After hospital care and counseling I got better. They put me on medicines to treat post traumatic.
I finished hs with highest GPA in my class, moved very far away to go to college, stopped talking to my parents and I started working.
Then one day I met a charmer, he really knew how to sweet talk and treat a woman good. I actually began to trust him, which said a lot. We dated for a few months and he met some of my family nearby.
After about 5 months of dating, he invited me on a vacation where he and his friend raped and left me.
I did report him and I had to make an embarrassing phone call to family and ask for help getting back home.
Ever since then I’ve lived my life in fear of men. I shake, look over my shoulder and sometimes start to cry if a man even gets close to me.

A few summers ago I was feeling better and a little bit safer in my new gorgeous neighborhood.
So I decided to go for a walk.
As I walked past my 50-60 yr old neighbor he yelled to his male neighbor across the street, “Hey, my social security check just came in. We should have her give us a lap dance”. I glanced over my shoulder and they were looking at me and started laughing.
I ran as fast as I could all the way home in complete fear that I was about to be raped.
When I got inside I just broke down and cried for hours in the corner of my room.
Ever since then I have not felt safe in my own home. They know where I live.

I feel like no matter where I move, I will never be safe.
I don’t even go for walks anymore. I bought a treadmill and gazelle.

My whole life of problems with men has brought on my deep hatred for them and a fear that refuses to go away.
I do NOT want any of these negative feelings.

A part of me hopes that some men are not rapists and they want to protect and love a female.

I am not sure how to get over any of this anger and fear though.

I want to have a husband and family one day, I want to be happy and feel safe in my own home. I am tired of sleeping in the evening because I can not sleep at night.
I live in fear, every day. I constantly fear a guy will kidnap me, rape me, molest me, beat me and/or hurt me.
I work at a place where it’s mostly women, I do customer service from behind a computer and I do not work night shifts. I park close to the women I work with that arrive and leave around the same time that I do.
Sighs :’( I am tired of hiding behind computers and being a Noah John Rondeau (hermit) but I have no cheap solution for paranoia.

I wanted to share my story to find someone who can relate or who might have found a solution. I do not want your sympathy, pity or apologies. I want to feel less alone and to find a solution

This post was submitted by DontWannaHate.

submitted by paladin_blake
[link] [9 comments]

Men seem to come and go in and out of my life often. My first dating experience was terrible due to him using me etc. My second dating experience was the same. I have had an absent father for most of my life and I cannot trust a single male. I have not dated anyone in over two years as I am afraid to get hurt again. I have low self esteem and seem to fall for men that I can’t have. I would like to find a decent bf one day but I feel like none will want me. My choices in the past with men have been bad, I tend to choose the ones who want sex from me and telling me that they do not want a relationship with anyone. Once they have finished with me, two weeks later they have a gf and seem to treat them right. What is wrong with me? Maybe I deserve this?

This post was submitted by unluckyinloveagain.

When I was at college I was separated from my girlfriend who lived abroad, some guys in the class told me this woman was “interested” in me. I said “I have a girlfriend I’m not interested” they kept saying it over the course of a few weeks. They started treating me like I was crazy.

They said once “are you gay?” I said “what would that have to do with anything”. I added to one of them “why would I give a dam what you thought of me, if you really cared about me you would not even mention it to me much less put pressure on me to cheat”.

I even told me girlfriend (now my wife) what these guys were saying it provided some entertainment for us during our phone calls. Thinking back the logic of what they were saying was so stupid. If I cheated I was heterosexual if I did not I was homosexual even though they new I had a girlfriend. Who am I proving myself to them, bunch of idiots who still to my knowledge even 10 years later don’t have themselves sorted out.

I never even asked who this woman was I have no idea, every time they mentioned it I just laughed and said “no not interested” and walked away.

I have always rejected peer pressure even at school. So doing so at college when I already had a girlfriend that loved me and I her was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

This post was submitted by Iain321.